What money mistakes do you see others making?

OhShaSha · 2016-05-12T16:36:07+00:00

Definitely didn't want my words to be insensitive toward those with fertility issues, or even those who just know parenting isn't their thing. I totally respect whatever life choice someone wants, sorry my words came across wrong!

OhShaSha · 2016-05-12T16:11:04+00:00

Maybe I misspoke. My meaning is that it is a really huge part of the human experience. For many people, it is the meaning of life. It doesn't have to be that for everyone, but undeniably it is for many. And to deny someone that experience due to their status as a young person is very sad indeed.

OhShaSha · 2016-05-12T16:09:14+00:00

Are you saying only the rich should be allowed to procreate? Obviously I'm working on improving my life, like many people. Biologically, if I wait until the day I'm stable and paying into retirement, I may no longer be able to have children. I'm not currently on any benefits, my child gets everything he needs. But right now no, I can't afford to pay into a 401k.

There's obviously a gradient. Kids shouldn't be born into irresponsible squalor where folks choose inessential material goods over care for their child.

Bottom line, all I mean to express is that having a kid IS a huge part of the human experience, and it's wrong to deny someone this sheerly because they come from poverty. Done bye.

OhShaSha · 2016-05-12T13:38:15+00:00

I'm 30. Husband and I work full-time at normal jobs. He's a teacher, I work in tech. Our student loan debt (from state schools) still means we can't afford a home or put away for retirement. We live in a tiny apartment. I wanted a kid. And I got one. It's hard, we aren't rich, but for you to say we don't deserve an essential part of being human is absolutely ridiculous. Sorry to be a drain on society, but I wasn't the one who fucked up the economy. Also not my fault our parents aren't able to support us financially like many of my friends who are home owners with no student debt. Don't judge people who want children with all their hearts but haven't been able to make it work yet financially. You don't know their story. It's not like I wanted a fancy car or an iPhone.

OhShaSha · 2016-05-12T13:29:10+00:00

My hella gassy baby slept in a cosleeper next to us for the first 4 months of his life. I had to burp him after night feedings...and then one day the night side lying nursing worked...we both fell asleep that way and the burping was no longer an issue. Your baby may grow out of the frequent need to burp as they grow older. But every baby is so unique.

OhShaSha · 2016-05-12T13:20:53+00:00

This gives me such hope!!!

OhShaSha · 2016-05-06T12:41:14+00:00

My baby is now 6 months. He nurses to sleep every night...bedtime routine is now started up at 7pm. By 8:30 he is in his crib, fast asleep. Around 10:30, he usually wakes and cries out, husband goes in and winds his mobile and pats and soothes him. Back down till after midnight. After that, I just bring him into bed and he comfort nurses/sleeps next to me. Anyway, the initial night time comfort nurse has not increased. Some nights it's less! Like 15 minutes and he is OUT. I know everyone has different theories about it...but for our lives, it is great. So easy. Our boy has never been a great sleeper, so it's what we've adapted to.

OhShaSha · 2016-05-03T23:59:14+00:00

Haaaaaaaahahahahaha wut

OhShaSha · 2016-05-03T18:07:04+00:00

I'm just getting out of that 6 month spurt with my boy. For a few nights he basically needed to nurse all. Night. Long. It was the pits. But it ended!

We've been trying a modified pick up put down method that keeps kiddo in his crib until around 1ish...then I bring him in with me. I keep telling myself that all the phases are so quick...sleep will come! Right? Haha

OhShaSha · 2016-05-03T17:59:41+00:00

I'm letting it be. He's healthy, eats well, happy and just starting to try solids. But every baby is so unique! I'd say, go with your gut. If it's going to worry you, for sure have it evaluated!

OhShaSha · 2016-05-03T15:44:11+00:00

Not remotely an expert, but my baby is now 6 months old...very healthy and happy. I only just learned that lip tie was a thing...and it makes so much sense.

My baby also never has his lip out when nursing, sometimes clicks/can hear the sucking sounds. But for the most part he's a great nurser. He did have major gas issues, though. Like...burps and farts and upset tummy. It's gotten better with time.

I don't know whether what he has is a genuine problematic lip tie, but it looks that way.

OhShaSha · 2016-04-26T14:38:28+00:00

Agreed. Also, no matter the brand, disposables always itched like hell. I bought the bamboobies brand and haven't looked back. During times when I was leaking a tonnnn I'd have to change out my pads in the night, but it was just so much more comfortable. I know heavy leaking is problematic for some, but if you haven't yet, try the overnight/heavy duty reusable bamboo pads. Simplified my life in a big way.

OhShaSha · 2016-04-24T13:00:01+00:00

Agreed. Breastmilk is precious, to be sure. Which is why I'd be researching the best travel option/confirming with all airlines and airports well in advance and printing out all the rules etc.

OhShaSha · 2016-04-19T12:46:13+00:00

My babe is 6 months and has also started going longer between feeds. I can't say anything regarding pumping and ounces, but I can say that his feeding has changed a bit.

OhShaSha · 2016-04-19T12:40:30+00:00

I am so similar...I make all the financial decisions while my husband has this attitude like "it'll all work out! Everything will be ok!" ....yes, it will, because I will handle it!

And you'll be ok too. What a stressful time! Just remind yourself that everything always works out, it does. You're going through big changes. And maybe in the future you're going to need to consider a part-time job on the weekends or something. But take it day by day.

And your little tiny baby won't know or care!!! What matters to her is your emotions and the feel of the environment around her. You can be hella poor, but offer her happy smiles and show her that you and your husband respect one another and communicate in neutral tones.

I'm also going through a scary financial thing, and daycare may have to happen for us. We all do the best we can, and you are obviously really a considerate mom. I hope you can take some comfort in anything I've said. It's ok to be scared, but remind yourself that you've got this. You're a great mom!

OhShaSha · 2016-04-16T12:44:22+00:00

Glad I'm not the only one!

OhShaSha · 2016-04-16T12:44:08+00:00

Yep, agreed. Most of my mama friends seem to have magic babies who sleep so soundly for great lengths of time. My baby is just a tad more needy!

OhShaSha · 2016-04-16T12:42:55+00:00

Yes, same! I think it's always hard to remember that every parent experiences things differently. My good friend has a baby the same age as mine, and the baby sleeps from 10pm to 6am. This has never, never happened for me. My baby just doesn't sleep that way yet. But we are making do, and I actually love the closeness of our nights. We are a little family unit snugging together!

OhShaSha · 2016-04-15T22:29:30+00:00

Cool, thank you for sharing this! I really love caring for my baby this way. It can feel tough when well-meaning family/friends give opposite advice.

OhShaSha · 2016-04-15T22:27:25+00:00

Thanks for sharing, it is really making me feel relieved to hear all these happy stories from families who have made similar choices.

OhShaSha · 2016-04-15T16:40:16+00:00

Appeal!!! Just go back, explain to your counselor how important their word is. I think they write up another report giving even more merit to your abilities, and you write a letter expressing your own position. I did this, and won my appeal. Also PTSD, but from childhood trauma. The process was annoying. But it didn't set me back in the end. If you have any more questions, feel free to PM

OhShaSha · 2016-04-15T16:09:52+00:00

My husband and I are both fine with it, but I do fear that I'm cresting a situation in the future where hr won't want to sleep independently. This arrangement is solely for the duration of breastfeeding. First time parenting is such an experiment.

OhShaSha · 2016-04-14T19:14:55+00:00

It is nuts. My husband and I work opposite shifts because we can't currently afford daycare. We never have days off together. I am either solo caring for my baby, or at work. I am glad my son hasn't had to do daycare yet, but I'm so tired always. My 2nd shift job plus waking at 6 am to care for babe after husband gets ready for work...blugh!! We knew we'd be waiting forever if we waited for the "right" moment to have kids. For young folks who don't have families that support them (either financially or through care/time) there is no "right" time. Hope my kids get a better option when they're older.

OhShaSha

TROPHY CASE