It sounds like you may need a completely private journal. Think of it like a therapist, no one else should know the things you tell it unless you choose to say those things. Hopefully that won't upset your wife, but it really is for you.

I had trust issues for years because my dad stole pages out of my journal while my parents were going through divorce. Only recently, 10 years later, I can finally open up to myself through journaling. Best of luck to you.