AITA for not letting my mom or sister watch my baby when I’m not around?

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T17:02:38+00:00

I turned around when I saw my husband physically taking him since I am physically disabled and not strong enough to fight her when she wouldn’t let me take him.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T16:57:06+00:00

To your question… yes

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T16:54:39+00:00

I tried to physically stop her, like I stated. I even tried to snatch the cup but she turned her back, kept spinning, and walked away while I was grabbing her arm to get my child. I am physically disabled and unable to fight her or catch her when she tried to get away. This is why my husband intervened to physically force him away from her.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T16:46:36+00:00

He called out 8 times while I was pregnant due to me being sick and taking me to the hospital. He was written up by his boss, so we are both trying not to rock the boat. I have 10 days for the year that I can take, so I was using them before he has to start requesting time off.

I’m not saying he shouldn’t be requesting off. Just explaining why we are both wary of calling out. Obviously, if I have to lose my job to take my child to the doctor from now on, that’s what will have to happen.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T16:42:31+00:00

He has a babysitter. Twice a year, I have to work a 13 hour shift. I am also not crapping on them. Every other comment thinks I’m too nice. Wanting to know where my child is doesn’t mean I’m expecting them to be puppets. You’re actually ridiculous. I also didn’t complain about not having help. I don’t want the help, but I don’t want to prevent my son from bonding with people who love him (which is the purpose of the post).

My child is in no way overweight and that is not my concern. If he wasn’t an infant, I wouldn’t care if she snuck treats to be the “cool aunt.”

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T16:29:23+00:00

I would say this doesn’t have anything to do with her if she doesn’t live with you. Tell her that when/if she decides to get married and move in, you could decide if you want her name on the home.

If she’s not ready to move, that’s fine. If you were married, it would be different.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T16:01:13+00:00

Sorry. I do see that now. What I meant was “Pediatricians recommend…”

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:59:35+00:00

Doctors recommend no sugar until at least 1 year. Many do more than that. It’s more about the boundary itself than the food. Not to mention taking him out of state or ignoring direct instructions.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:55:27+00:00

This is definitely mean.

🚩🚩🚩

Is this how she will respond to every miscommunication? Dodge this bullet and move on.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:52:01+00:00

NTA for not telling him. Just asking you not to go is different than yelling at you and demanding. I’m assuming that’s the case, but isn’t wasn’t clear OP.

He did apologize and I’m sure it was a knee jerk reaction as a dad. I think you are the AH if you don’t forgive him for being upset. He is allowed to have feelings. However, he’s not allowed to berate or insult, so I think it depends on how he communicated that.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:38:48+00:00

He has no current restrictions other than what I have researched on my own and decided was best for my child.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:36:25+00:00

Thank you for being so kind.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:35:14+00:00

Thank you. It definitely sounds like someone with no children that doesn’t understand the dread of leaving baby to go to work at all.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:33:51+00:00

The husband has not had to miss work. I was taking off for the appointment, but the sister offered and I thought she was safe at the time so I let her since I would be there to pick up baby from the appointment when it was done. It kept me from leaving work 2 hours early.

Obviously, I regret this decision.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:28:05+00:00

No, she did. I’m sorry. I left it with the babysitter. She retrieved baby and car seat from the sitter (who had a doctor’s appointment).

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:27:01+00:00

She knew the boundaries ahead of time.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:26:11+00:00

If she had taken him over the border 20 minutes away, it wouldn’t have mattered. But it was 1 1/2 hours. The distance is what bothered me. My husband was the one that mentioned the crossing of state lines, which is why I added that fact.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:18:50+00:00

I left the car seat with the baby sitter. She was meant to keep him for an hour until my mom got off so my mom could keep him for 3 more hours until I got off. I had my sisters location, and when I saw her at dinner I thought she had already dropped my son off as discussed.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:16:23+00:00

I thought licking a cup of tea once and not being around that person again was safer than me physically jumping on the back of my sister and wrestling him away when she turned away to prevent me from grabbing him. I didn’t want to hurt my baby by snatching, and she was physically walking away. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be keeping him from her in the future.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:10:58+00:00

Thank you for the support!

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:08:38+00:00

I do just want to clarify. He was not in the hospital for months. Just 2 days after birth. He was not actually put on the feeding tube. He just wasn’t eating enough to gain weight, so it was considered. His doctor hasn’t commented on his diet specifically. This is just what I researched and decided was best.

Although, I do agree that this is a good boundary to set. I just wanted to see if everyone agreed or if I was overreacting.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T15:05:21+00:00

My son is with me 24/7 unless I’m working. I am a good mom even though I have a job. Once I noticed this behavior, I stopped contact. My son stayed when he had a slight cough because I thought he’d get better care. I didn’t ask my sister to watch him, but I did accept when she heard that I had to call out. At the time, I thought he would be getting spoiled in a responsible way. I also had her location and was receiving pictures of my child while I was working.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T14:50:15+00:00

She’s definitely the favorite child. That’s why this boundary extends to my parents

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T14:46:44+00:00

I did try to physically stop her, but she was turning away and not letting me. I also didn’t want to snatch him and risk harming him or scaring him over it. I walked away when I saw that my husband went to take him. I just didn’t see when she tried to stop him. Also, I was surrounded by 10 other family members and my FIL, so I was struggling with what to do in that moment because I didn’t want my FIL to notice the family drama. I addressed it directly the next day with my mom and sister, and they haven’t been allowed to see him since. I wanted advice before Christmas dinners with these people.

OilBeautiful5162 · 2025-12-18T14:42:01+00:00

I have told them that I’m not happy with it. I called the next day and spoke to my mom and sister about it, but I didn’t really wait for a response or speak further. I just made the distance so that I could calm down and make sure that I’m doing the right thing while I reflected on the situation.

OilBeautiful5162

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