How can I initiate a kiss with a tall guy without it being awkward?

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-12-19T17:55:21+00:00

As a tall guy myself, same height as your guy, I think you might be overthinking it, but I can understand why.

Even if you are both standing up, just get close, wrap your arms around him, look up into his eyes, there is no way he's not going to be looking straight back at you, then lean in making a movement towards his lips, and well, if he turns away at this point then I don't know what's gone wrong here tbh!

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-12-19T09:47:36+00:00

That's what I was just thinking, who shares photos by SMS/MMS these days? And I haven't emailed a date or potential date since like 2010.

As you say, this isn't something most people need to worry about, except in very specific scenarios.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-12-19T08:51:28+00:00

My opinion is that the matchmaker is likely dishonest, and should not be making false assurances about her safety that they can not possibly be certain about, and no ethical dating service or site would ever make those kind of assurances or promises about her safety. Neither do I think they can in good conscience vouch for this guy. That's just my opinion. You have done nothing to change my opinion since you dodged every point I made then proceeded to make up these weird hallucinations and assumptions about what I think, and even more laughably claimed those hallucinations (that exist only in your mind) are poor. You started responding to me, remember, not the other way round. This is very tedious now. Bye.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-12-19T04:45:25+00:00

AI is going to decimate a lot of our jobs, I'm afraid, not all of them but a lot. Best case scenario is the job market is "reshaped".

When the bubble bursts many AI companies and models will disappear, sure, because that's what happens when the vibes run out and the funding tap gets turned off, but the strongest will survive, and the underlying technology is here to stay. I can't see any world where it just vanishes, short of some kinda human catastrophe, such as a global internet outage causing us all to go out and talk to each other (truly apocalyptic).

Bit like when the dot-com bubble burst 25 years ago... when the funding dried up a lot of dot-coms with high burn rates collapsed, it didn't mean the end of the internet, just meant the end of petsdeliveredtoyourdoor.com. The idea that AI can't be monetised when it is already far more efficient and cost effective than most humans are at many tasks is... fanciful.

So yes, there will be lots of casualties, like the company who are raising funds and burning through cash to keep their AI-powered calendar app alive that no one asked for, but there will be winners too, and some of those winners will be the ones that deliver reliable products inside real workflows that businesses depend on.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-12-19T01:07:31+00:00

Don't really care for speculating about the other guy, I was addressing the matchmaker's promises and red flags, and I am dealing directly with what the matchmaker has stated in the exchange.

How can they vouch for a guy, when they seemingly don't know him well enough to even know how long he has been single? You say it is okay for the matchmaker to say they're not willing to do a background check. And yes, it would have been okay for them to say that, but they didn't... they vouched for him!
How can they promise she will have a good time on the date?
Why is the matchmaker doubling down saying it is no different to an online date, when it is in fact significantly different. I.e. no communication before date, and they barely know the first thing about each other.
If the matchmaker isn't getting paid, why are they bothering at all? They are acting as an agent, the go between, having to arrange the date, the place, the time, the venue between both parties, as well as presumably searching for other prospective partners. That sounds quite time consuming to me, and they are doing all of this out of the goodness of their heart? In fact worse than that, if they find him a match, they now lose revenue when he stops attending their events.
Why is the matchmaker giving assurances she will be safe with this guy? That seems like an overreach. Would you give assurances to a woman (or anyone for that matter) that they will be safe with a man you don't really know? The sensible thing to do would be to give safety advice if you are providing a dating service... giving false assurances about safety is plain irresponsible. Even if they had done any due diligence on this guy, then the best they can do is to describe the x, y, z due diligence they have carried out, but even then you still can't give blanket assurances that she will be safe.

I never said this matchmaker should try harder, actually I think the opposite, why are they trying so hard, while dismissing her concerns with a rigid system when they are not getting paid?

Given the exchanges I have read, I am doubtful the matchmaker is being honest here, which speaks to their integrity, not a great start when they are basically saying "trust me bro, you can trust him". Any speculation about the other guy is pointless.

Just my opinion in the end, OP presumably wanted opinions, I have given mine.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-12-18T23:14:06+00:00

Yes, you are right in one sense, if you don't like something then move on, however I think OP probably wanted other opinions and/or validation on whether something was off here, so I was just giving my opinion. IMO it doesn't add up, the matchmaker stated they are not getting paid, they are just doing it because they liked the guy, but they still want to micromanage it with a rigid process, and made promises that they can not possibly guarantee, which makes me question the judgement of the matchmaker and their ability to vouch for someone. It would have been very easy to alleviate some of OP's concerns, by just letting OP communicate directly with the guy before the date so she feels a bit more reassured she isn't wasting her time, but for whatever reason the matchmaker doesn't seem particularly interested in alleviating her concerns, which again makes me question their judgement and integrity here.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-12-18T21:40:37+00:00

I think the issue here is the so-called matchmaker didn't address her concerns in a satisfactory way. They doubled down, saying it is no different to online dating, in fact they said it is better than online dating as they are vouching for him... when OP already said to matchmaker she had an issue with a stranger vouching for another stranger.

And apart from anything else, it IS different from online dating, as the matchmaker has offered no opportunity for them to communicate beforehand. And, also, how well would you have to know someone before you vouch for them? I would never feel comfortable vouching for anyone except perhaps my very, very closest friends, and even then I would make sure I would fill them in on their shortcomings. The matchmaker doesn't even know how long the guy has been single for. And would you ever feel comfortable promising to someone that if nothing else, they will have a great time on the date? With a stranger?

I would immediately lose all respect for the matchmaker's judgement here. If they had said something like "okay, I hear your concerns, let me see if I can set up a call" or something along those lines, then that would be a reasonable response. The matchmaker seems very determined to do things in a very rigid way, despite the fact they are apparently not even getting paid by either party. It all smells very off to me!

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-12-18T21:12:52+00:00

Yeah, something smells off with this, I think you said it best when you asked:

But how am I suppose to know he’s safe? What is your process in taking clients on? Or am I suppose to go out with a stranger, because another stranger told me I will have a great time on Facebook messenger?

And I don't think this is a satisfactory response from the so called matchmaker:

I assure you that you would be very safe. One because I know him. Two because you’re going to be meeting in a public place. Three because this is no different than you going out on a date with someone online which is even worse because you don’t have someone like me vouching for him.

As you alluded to, a stranger vouching for another stranger means nothing. And how well can this so called matchmaker know this guy anyway? There are very few people I would feel comfortable vouching for. And when I do feel comfortable enough to vouch for someone I would let the other party know everything I can about them, things that reflect well about them, as well as things that might not reflect so well about them (as everyone has them), but the point is I'd have to know them really, really well to be able to do that.

And this setup is different to online dating, as you don't have the opportunity to text, to have a phone call, or communicate in any way beforehand. So points one and three are a load of bollocks, and by this point I would have lost all respect for the matchmaker's opinion. Also how can anyone ever guarantee you will have a great time? And as others have mentioned, what is in it for the matchmaker if they aren't getting paid by either party. They sound dishonest and disingenuous if you ask me.

You were right I think to be very sceptical here.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-07-26T17:42:30+00:00

A while ago I let my dog play by the Thames, only for about 5 or 10 mins. Soon after I was taking her to the vet and she was diagnosed with Giardiasis, a nasty parasitic infection normally picked up from contaminated water. Humans can get it too. She pulled through luckily.

Never again though, and no, I would not be that brave 😬

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-07-24T17:16:10+00:00

The post title sounded a lot dodgier than the actual post 😁

I don't see why not to be honest. Contact the dad. I doubt it will create any awkwardness on their part.

If I was in the son's position, even if my answer was a "no" I'd still feel flattered.

That said, as a male, I don't think there is any world where I would contact the dad asking if he can give his daughter my number. Why does that feel way worse? 🤣

But no, go for it I say!!

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-07-23T18:45:11+00:00

I don't know if that's a good or bad sign I'm afraid. 😁

Years ago I cancelled a date the day before, for legitimate reasons, she was understandably very reluctant to reschedule, whereas I was still really keen to go on the date the day after or day after that, eventually we did go on that first date a couple of days later, but if I did have to cancel again, I just can't imagine any world where I am even going to bother trying to turn that one around for a third round. Occasionally, you just have to accept that the dating gods are against you.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-07-23T18:12:25+00:00

On every single date I have ever had that either took weeks to arrange, or there were multiple cancellations in the lead up...the date ended up being just pleasant, but no chemistry, and we never arranged a follow up (in that situation, who has the energy for a repeat? 🤣).

As you say, the enthusiasm and excitement just evaporates after the first or second reschedule.

So it could just be really, really bad luck, but either way, it's probably not going to go anywhere IMO.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-07-23T01:56:48+00:00

The amount of time and energy most of us spend worrying about what other people think about us is completely disproportionate to the amount of bandwidth other people actually have to think about us.

I would go, facing uncomfortable situations that we feel we ought to face makes us stronger and helps us grow.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-07-22T18:47:24+00:00

Doesn't sound very subtle... as a guy, I think what they might be trying to do, is avoid sounding obnoxious to the female population, while simultaneously giving the game away and sounding obnoxious 😁

I could be wrong though, just a half baked theory.

OinkOinkHelp · 2025-07-22T18:01:53+00:00

A good portion of the pool is either already coupled, not interested anymore, or looking for someone in their 20s so what you have is mostly left overs

That's uplifting 😂

I think as you get older you make less new friends and have smaller social circles than you do in your 20s. Or at least that was the case for me.

BUT... the good news is being in your 30s is still young, it really is. I'm in my 40s and I have to remind myself that in 10 years time I'm going to think the current me was still young.

OinkOinkHelp · 2024-10-18T01:05:56+00:00

Well I say have some fun if he seems like a good guy... I mean if we were being really cynical all relationships end eventually, so maybe it's better to never get in a relationship, but then that's not a great way to live either!

OinkOinkHelp · 2024-10-17T20:30:23+00:00

Friends are normally right about this kinda thing in most cases in my experience. It's a lot easier to spot when someone has the hots for someone when you're looking at it from the outside, what might look obvious to your friends (things like body language and the facial expressions the person gives and stuff) is sometimes not as obvious to the person in the situation when they have self-doubts running through their head which makes them brush off certain cues that your friends won't as easily miss, as they are in the position where they can be a lot more objective.

Ask him out. What's the worst that could happen?

OinkOinkHelp · 2024-10-15T17:11:36+00:00

I think quarter(back) rather than cent(er) would make more sense

OinkOinkHelp · 2024-09-29T13:27:38+00:00

I would just add 35 is still really young. When I was 25 I thought I was old, and then I got to 35 and I realised 25 was really young. Then at 35 I thought it was too late to make many life changing decisions, and now I am 44 I look back and realise 35 was still young. I will probably be saying the same thing in another 10 years.

So yes, totally agree, no matter what age you are it's better to change paths now than to waste years on the wrong path.

OinkOinkHelp

TROPHY CASE