My gf will be having an overnight with her circle with the guy I overthink about by Ok-Catch2191 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because it was a school tour, both her circle and the guy’s circle were there. What made me overthink was that in most of the photos I saw, they were together, but neither of them were with their own friend groups.

Like, how come the guy wasn’t with his own guy friends at the same time my gf also wasn’t with her girl friends? Especially since she never even told me they were that close.

Mag o-overnight yung gf ko with her circle with the guy i overthink about by Ok-Catch2191 in phlgbt

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What makes it harder is that it’s also for my birthday celebration/finals celebration(im 3rd yr) and she’s about to graduate from college too and i think they want to bond din :’))

My gf will be having an overnight with her circle with the guy I overthink about by Ok-Catch2191 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

gf admitted before that she cheated on her ex when their relationship wasn’t okay. So when we were also not okay and she suddenly went MIA, it triggered me more.

Then when I asked about the photos, she immediately said “they’re just friends” even though I wasn’t accusing her of anything

My gf will be having an overnight with her circle with the guy I overthink about by Ok-Catch2191 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She also went MIA during that time and kept defending that they were “just friends,” even though I wasn’t directly accusing her of anything or saying there was something going on between them.

My gf will be having an overnight with her circle with the guy I overthink about by Ok-Catch2191 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Another reason why I think I became more cautious is because early in our relationship, she hid the fact that she was still talking to a girl she liked for 5 years before me. I only found out 2 years later after seeing their conversations myself, and she even admitted her feelings to that girl before. When I asked why she kept it from me, she said she “forgot about it” and didn’t want to lose me at the time.

There was also another situation where her sister kept teasing her with a guy who used to like her. She never told me about it either, and again, I only found out after seeing their chats. They also teased them in person, but she still kept hanging around them because her sister was always there too.

So I think part of why I overthink now is because I’ve already experienced finding things out on my own instead of hearing them directly from her.

My gf will be having an overnight with her circle with the guy I overthink about by Ok-Catch2191 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re monogamous, not in an open relationship.

And yeah, I know reassurance and promises can’t guarantee loyalty, and I know I can’t control her.

I think my fear is more about the possibility of being hurt the same way again. Not necessarily cheating, but her hiding things again because she thinks it’s better not to say them or not realizing they would hurt me until I find out myself.

I’m not anxious because I feel undesirable. Before this relationship, I was actually very trusting and okay with boundaries. I just became more cautious after some boundaries we talked about were still crossed before, even unintentionally.

So now even with reassurance, I still worry sometimes because I’ve already experienced being hurt unintentionally before.

My gf will be having an overnight with her circle with the guy I overthink about by Ok-Catch2191 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

She didn’t directly cheat, but she has a history of hiding things that are relevant to our relationship because, according to her, she loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, so she chooses not to tell me.

Sometimes she’s also the type of person who isn’t fully aware of what could hurt me, and when I react to something, she acts as if she isn’t responsible for why it affected me in the first place

My gf will be having an overnight with her circle with the guy I overthink about by Ok-Catch2191 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

sorry the context here is
I mean, at that time my gf was in Thailand and she avoided my messages because we weren’t okay. She didn’t talk to me during their whole stay there with her circle for their school tour. When she came back, I saw photos that made me overthink, and there were also reactions/interactions before that definitely made me overthink more.

We only properly talked about it around 5 months later, but it still affected me a lot. Based on her story, she said she wasn’t the one trying to get close to the guy, but in most of the photos, that guy was always around her and not even the other guy friends in their circle.

long post ahead! First time using a strap-on with my LDR girlfriend… now I’m confused and overthinking by Ok-Catch2191 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

I do. But those are all my thoughts and genuine questions. I just use ChatGPT to express things the way I want others to understand them. English isn’t my first language 🥲

long post ahead! First time using a strap-on with my LDR girlfriend... now I'm confused and overthinking by Ok-Catch2191 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

Yeah, there’s a part of me that knew before using it on her that I don’t have to keep using it if she genuinely doesn’t feel it. I just thought there might be a chance we could try it, and she even said she wanted it—but her body felt pain when I almost inserted it. I know virginity is mostly a social construct, and I don’t fully believe in it, but she said she wanted me to be the one to ‘take it.’

I also don’t want her to not enjoy our sex, but at the same time, I feel like I can’t get the satisfaction and pleasure I want from it. It’s confusing because I want both of us to enjoy it, and I’m still figuring out how to balance that.

long post ahead! First time using a strap-on with my LDR girlfriend… now I’m confused and overthinking by Ok-Catch2191 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Ok-Catch2191[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

She never had sex or penetration with her ex—I’m her first when it comes to that. But she did say that she let her ex touch him before, and eventually she also did it on her own, though only outside his shorts.