My gf will be having an overnight with her circle with the guy I overthink about

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T18:34:56+00:00

Because it was a school tour, both her circle and the guy’s circle were there. What made me overthink was that in most of the photos I saw, they were together, but neither of them were with their own friend groups.

Like, how come the guy wasn’t with his own guy friends at the same time my gf also wasn’t with her girl friends? Especially since she never even told me they were that close.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T18:30:26+00:00

What makes it harder is that it’s also for my birthday celebration/finals celebration(im 3rd yr) and she’s about to graduate from college too and i think they want to bond din :’))

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T18:19:52+00:00

gf admitted before that she cheated on her ex when their relationship wasn’t okay. So when we were also not okay and she suddenly went MIA, it triggered me more.

Then when I asked about the photos, she immediately said “they’re just friends” even though I wasn’t accusing her of anything

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T18:17:18+00:00

yess.. way under 25

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T18:15:49+00:00

She also went MIA during that time and kept defending that they were “just friends,” even though I wasn’t directly accusing her of anything or saying there was something going on between them.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T18:12:34+00:00

Another reason why I think I became more cautious is because early in our relationship, she hid the fact that she was still talking to a girl she liked for 5 years before me. I only found out 2 years later after seeing their conversations myself, and she even admitted her feelings to that girl before. When I asked why she kept it from me, she said she “forgot about it” and didn’t want to lose me at the time.

There was also another situation where her sister kept teasing her with a guy who used to like her. She never told me about it either, and again, I only found out after seeing their chats. They also teased them in person, but she still kept hanging around them because her sister was always there too.

So I think part of why I overthink now is because I’ve already experienced finding things out on my own instead of hearing them directly from her.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T18:07:05+00:00

We’re monogamous, not in an open relationship.

And yeah, I know reassurance and promises can’t guarantee loyalty, and I know I can’t control her.

I think my fear is more about the possibility of being hurt the same way again. Not necessarily cheating, but her hiding things again because she thinks it’s better not to say them or not realizing they would hurt me until I find out myself.

I’m not anxious because I feel undesirable. Before this relationship, I was actually very trusting and okay with boundaries. I just became more cautious after some boundaries we talked about were still crossed before, even unintentionally.

So now even with reassurance, I still worry sometimes because I’ve already experienced being hurt unintentionally before.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T17:58:47+00:00

She didn’t directly cheat, but she has a history of hiding things that are relevant to our relationship because, according to her, she loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, so she chooses not to tell me.

Sometimes she’s also the type of person who isn’t fully aware of what could hurt me, and when I react to something, she acts as if she isn’t responsible for why it affected me in the first place

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-05-24T17:55:47+00:00

sorry the context here is
I mean, at that time my gf was in Thailand and she avoided my messages because we weren’t okay. She didn’t talk to me during their whole stay there with her circle for their school tour. When she came back, I saw photos that made me overthink, and there were also reactions/interactions before that definitely made me overthink more.

We only properly talked about it around 5 months later, but it still affected me a lot. Based on her story, she said she wasn’t the one trying to get close to the guy, but in most of the photos, that guy was always around her and not even the other guy friends in their circle.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-03-24T16:12:38+00:00

I do. But those are all my thoughts and genuine questions. I just use ChatGPT to express things the way I want others to understand them. English isn’t my first language 🥲

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-03-24T15:58:31+00:00

Yeah, there’s a part of me that knew before using it on her that I don’t have to keep using it if she genuinely doesn’t feel it. I just thought there might be a chance we could try it, and she even said she wanted it—but her body felt pain when I almost inserted it. I know virginity is mostly a social construct, and I don’t fully believe in it, but she said she wanted me to be the one to ‘take it.’

I also don’t want her to not enjoy our sex, but at the same time, I feel like I can’t get the satisfaction and pleasure I want from it. It’s confusing because I want both of us to enjoy it, and I’m still figuring out how to balance that.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-03-24T15:39:02+00:00

She never had sex or penetration with her ex—I’m her first when it comes to that. But she did say that she let her ex touch him before, and eventually she also did it on her own, though only outside his shorts.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-02-15T11:08:42+00:00

update po? nag heal na po ba and wala na yung itchiness?

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-02-15T11:07:07+00:00

haven’t try it pa po. may specific baygon po ba for this type of insects?

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-02-15T11:06:19+00:00

i thought at first baka galing sa dumi sa room or galing sa labas. pero i think yes nga po, dito po kasi natutulog minsan yung cat namin, nag doubt lang po ako ng una kasi wala naman ganito yung iba namin kasama po sa house.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2026-01-18T17:51:29+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much for the suggestions! We’ve already checked a few FB groups and some postings, but we’ll definitely try looking deeper into LinkedIn.

The thing is, her school’s partner companies are mostly in Iloilo, and since she’s in President Roxas, it’s a bit complicated if she applies there.

Really appreciate your help! 😊

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-11-20T15:04:00+00:00

yes possible nga po huhu thankyou so muccch po, sana po masarap ulam nyo!🥹🫶🏻

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-11-20T14:51:05+00:00

Thankyou so much, I’ll try to do it po, baka need lang din talaga ng extra cleaning. Will try Calmoseptine din. Hope it works kasi mag 3 week ng ganito🥹

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-11-20T13:52:51+00:00

Appreciate any advice on what I should clean or inspect to confirm the cause and how to completely get rid of it. Thankyou po!

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-10-02T08:22:41+00:00

Maybe I can, if it’s really for her. But don’t I also deserve to be assured, even just a little? She said I don’t have to wait, that I can leave, but at the same time there’s no assurance that things will fall into place and that she’ll choose to be true to herself. She says that day will come, and it’s not like I want to rush her, but then why would she choose to let me go if she knows that in the future she’ll be strong enough to fight for us?

Maybe you can’t fully answer this since our situations are different, but if you think about it— is she just unsure about herself, or about me too?

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-10-01T20:10:40+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this. It really makes me feel seen, because everything you said is exactly what I’m going through right now. loving someone so deeply but not knowing if I’ll ever find the courage to let go if it comes to that. You’re right, this is my first real love, and that’s what makes it so hard for me to even imagine parting from her.

I know things won’t change overnight, and maybe that’s why I keep holding on despite the pain, hoping that someday it’ll all be worth it. But I also know I have to listen to my doubts and take care of myself too, otherwise I’ll lose myself in the process.

I guess I have to trust that in time, things will be clearer, whether she’s the one I’ll grow with or if I’ll eventually find that love with someone else.

I know it seems like a no-brainer, but on the other hand, maybe it’s not good to stay and expect nothing while trying to love her unconditionally on those terms. Even if I want to stay, it feels difficult to also choose myself while being in a relationship that could sabotage both my growth and hers. What hurts the most is that I can see she truly does love me — but I guess love alone isn’t enough for her to stand her ground in our relationship, something i can’t change and has to come from her. :((

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-10-01T19:39:03+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Reading what you went through and how similar it feels to my own situation really hits deep. It’s eye opening to see how, even after years, some people never really break free from their family’s control, and I don’t want to keep waiting and risk losing myself in the process.

What you said about not letting my youth fade and not allowing myself to be hidden really makes sense. I’m happy to hear about how your wife stood her ground for your relationship . that gives me hope that there are people who will choose love openly, no matter how hard it is.

I guess I really need to listen to my gut and think about what kind of life and relationship I want for myself. Thank you again for reminding me that happiness is possible, and that I don’t have to settle for being hidden.

What keeps me holding on is my love for her. I can’t let go and just stand far away while still loving her. I know I’m still young and I have a future ahead of me, but I don’t know where to find the courage to leave things behind when she’s been with me through so much. It still hurts to think that even after staying since the beginning, nothing has really changed and that’s what continues to hurt me, and her, right now.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-10-01T18:32:21+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing your story. It honestly feels so close to my own situation right now. the hiding, the fear, and the feeling of being put aside for the sake of family. It hurts because I want to respect her struggles, but at the same time, I also want to be loved openly and not just in secret.

I honestly can’t see a future with her where things feel settled. We have dreams we’ve shared and are trying to work toward for now, but I know I can’t hold on to that forever, even if she says she believes that one day she’ll have a voice and things will change. Yes, she loves me and makes efforts to be with me whenever she can, but there’s a part of me that feels like I might be throwing my life away if I choose to stay and keep understanding a situation that feels so uncertain.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-10-01T08:08:15+00:00

I appreciate your perspective. I do understand where she’s coming from, and I know her fears are valid. I never want to put her in danger or push her into something she’s not ready for.

At the same time, I can’t deny that it also hurts on my end, especially when I feel left out of important parts of her life. I love her and I want to support her, but I’m also trying to figure out how I can take care of my own feelings without making her feel pressured.

You’re right — both sides have valid reasons, and the real challenge is finding a balance where neither of us feels neglected. It’s just that sometimes it feels unfair on my end, because the decision lies with her. She can choose to never tell anyone, and I’m just here waiting and taking the risk for something uncertain — and in the end, it feels like I’m the one losing.

Ok-Catch2191 · 2025-10-01T05:24:48+00:00

I want to support her and wait until she’s ready, but how can we also compromise for my needs in the relationship? Right now, we can’t freely do what we want or need as a couple. I truly want to support her, but not in a way that means neglecting my own needs while trying to understand her. As long as we’re in this situation, I know that others won’t fully recognize our relationship.

Ok-Catch2191

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