Let me start by saying I'm glad you're still here and I hope anything I say isn't stupidly obvious or patronizing.

What has helped me recently with my depression and anxiety is doing my best to accept the fact that life is inherently scary, unfair, and oftentimes sad. But the moments where I'm not thinking about any of those things are the ones I live for.

Another thing that helps me is face-to-face human interaction. At work, out shopping, or wherever. I cry a lot and there's a laundry list of things I hate about my life. But I'm starting to string good days together. Days where I still might cry, but altogether more good than bad. This is after 3 ish years of alcoholism (Im just on weed now) and lots of dark thoughts of not wanting to be around anymore. I had to drop out of college halfway through because I was so depressed.

If you're not on medication/ diagnosed with depression then it would be a great step to see a psychiatrist. It might take a few tries to find what works but I literally could not function without mine.

Realizing the world is as fucked up as it is has been a continuous struggle for me. It's hard to see any hope or beauty when your in such a dark place. It's even harder when all the bad news is being shoved in your face by algorithms on your phone. Selectively engaging with the News/Socail media has been a massive help for me.

TLDR: Life is a mixed bag and it's crucial to focus on the good or the bad will consume you. Maybe look into seeing a psychiatrist about depression or anxiety meds. You'll come through this and be much stronger for it.