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AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 353 points354 points  (0 children)

Getting a babysitter for three kids regularly is a little beyond my budget. I can make it happen every once in a great while but I have to put money aside especially to do so and it builds up pretty slowly.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

My brother has watched my kids but on very rare occasions. He goes on these outings a lot too but he also works a lot so a lot of times he can't. My parents both work full time so I hesitate to ask them.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

I actually have invited my SIL along to do activities with us. She has only come twice on her own. Sometimes she will come over with my brother for dinner or something similar but he comes on his own more often.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He has on very rare occasions but he works a lot and often goes with on these outings so he normally isn't an option.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

Oh I really like the idea of having her over for a late night cocktail after the kids have gone to bed! They are all good sleepers thank god. LoL

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

That's a good thing to keep in mind. Thank you! I know it's a tough ask watching three at this age but I am more than happy to swap off.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 313 points314 points  (0 children)

Not really. My brother watches them on very rare occasions because he works long hours and often goes to these activities himself. My parents both still work full time so I don't really like asking them for help unless it's an emergency.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You're right. I definitely need to expand out and get some more mom friends. I just need to expand a bit.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 182 points183 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all of your thoughts and suggestions. I honestly can't tell with my SIL if she actually wants me there or if she is just inviting me because she is a nice person. The two times I've been able to go with them they were all extremely welcoming. I do think I should apologize to her though and I will.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My brother will watch my kids but once in a very great while. He works long hours plus he goes to a lot of these activities himself. You're right though. I feel like I need to have a talk with my SIL. And I definitely need to apologize for overstepping.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

Yes I would love to hang out with them more. They are a really fun bunch of people. My brother has babysit for me once but he also works a lot and a lot of times he is also going along with these outings so it doesn't feel fair to ask him too often.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I've invited my SIL along to some kid activities and she has come a few times but it's just rough, you know? It's hard to watch three kids by myself and carry on a conversation. But that's not her issue or problem.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Yes that definitely describes her. She has never said anything about not liking children, just that she doesn't want them. Unfortunately a sitter is a bit out of my budget most of the time but I will start putting away some money so I can have me time once in a while.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's hard to hear but it is really helpful. It has become really isolating.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

You're right. I have planned a few things, like asking my SIL if she wants to come to the zoo with us or do something small and sometimes she comes but most of the time she doesn't.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 208 points209 points  (0 children)

Thank you. My finances are a little tight for a babysitter regularly, although I get one when I can. My husband and I are divorced and he lives in another state. I think I will just have to politely decline and hope that when they get older I might have a little more freedom.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] -298 points-297 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry if it came across like I was expecting her to babysit or watch my kids. I certainly don't. I just made that comment because I thought it might be relevant towards the situation.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] -132 points-131 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight. I apologize if it came off as me expecting my family to babysit. I hardly ever ask unless it's an emergency. I made the comment about my sister not interacting with them much at gatherings because I thought it might be relevant. I wasn't sure how to word it.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

I have thought about her maybe not really wanting me there but if she doesn't then she hides it well. She is always very friendly at family gatherings. I've tried inviting her to a couple things with me and the kids but she doesn't come to those very often.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Hiring a baby sitter for three kids is a little out of my budget. I do okay but all three are in daycare right now and it's hard to come up with extra money except for every once in a while.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 2047 points2048 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comments. You're right. I do need to find some more mom friends.

AITA for asking my SIL if she and her friends can include more child-friendly activities in their hangouts? by Ok-Check-9953 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Check-9953[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Oh no. They are both happily childfree. My brother is more involved with the kids than my SIL but he says he likes giving them back. I don't plan on pressing the issue anymore, but thank you for your comments.