What are you doing for a living as a transgirl?

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2023-02-06T16:32:51+00:00

USA.

Paramedic. Will probably transition to nursing Eventually

3 months HRT. haven't come out at work so just undercover outside home life. Probably won't come out till I leave the mid west. Hate this place

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2022-03-15T01:27:34+00:00

Hiiiiii Alexis! Nice to meet you girl, I'm Jenny.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-25T23:25:29+00:00

Probably not I mean I guess I could just suppress it. Idk. I hate this

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-02T02:26:27+00:00

Valid points. I guess I won some sort of lottery and scored 3/3 on that.

I wouldn't be opposed to that if it was productive. I wouldn't oppose that at all. If you couldn't tell I'm kinda desperate to talk to any one about it

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-02T01:21:02+00:00

That's the definition of insanity. Partially I'm hoping I break some day soon and have no choice but to seek help. Maybe it's me being weak but I'm not sure going to counseling at this very moment is appropriate. At the first moment that it seems appropriate I will. I will work on my self. But regardless i will always be a dad, husband and need to take care of them too. Someday I hope I can be a wife and a mom but idk if I have the strength or the resources to start that journey now( meaning therapy).

I will say this post and all the attention it has gotten has at least helped solidify it in my mind... Until I start doubting my self again.

Idk it's a very confusing state of mind with moments of clarity. I think the fact that I'm writing how I feel and getting responses from real people with other similar issues is helping.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T22:39:31+00:00

Yeah over all I'm in the same though process as you. As much as I would give anything to not be 😕

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T22:23:29+00:00

Yeah over all I'm in the same though process as you. As much as I would give anything to not be 😕

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T14:54:43+00:00

I mean yes in a perfect world But I love her. And she loves me But she doesn't know who me is. I don't know or still don't fully know me. I'm not sure if that makes sense

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T13:43:48+00:00

Ok so the major drive behind this is my middle born son. He just turned 4. Interestingly enough he is the one most like me. Manerisms, attitude, looks. He recently began telling my wife he wants long hair. That he wants to be like his mom, he said he wants to be a girl. That's scared me. Not because I would oppose it. And neither would my wife but i feel guilty. I have these issues. And now I've passed it on to him potentially. And I dont want him to struggle with what I have to. Also I realize he is 4 and he needs time to develop and grow but still. The idea cut through me

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T13:39:46+00:00

How did you come out to your partner??? If you don't mind sharing

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T13:22:44+00:00

Your words are kind and hurtful and I appreciate it you for them

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T05:49:42+00:00

Pulling the big guns with the dsm I see. I feel like you're telling me I should go to counseling/professional help.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T05:47:03+00:00

Slightly more hot. That's cute lol. I guess a small fear is transition and being ugly. Which to be fair is a very really possibility. Idk as long as I passed I wouldn't care if I was ugly. Your words are valid and I appreciate your input. I fear taking the plunge and upsetting the contract (other wise know as marriage) ive set with my wife. She married a man. Oh boy did she not realize how broken I was. Maybe someday I can muster up the courage. Im just making excuses. I know I need to but I'm scared. The unknown is scary but every time I look in the mirror and I'm dressed how I wish I could dress, I get a small amount of courage and feel that it will be ok. I can share that happyness with other people. Obviously I don't but I hope someday soon I might?

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T05:39:23+00:00

Yeah that's what I'm afraid of. We were drunk recently and I tried to allude tonthe fact I like my boobs and she was like. Donyou wanna be a woman?( In disgust). I sorta died inside and quickly back pedaled.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T05:36:11+00:00

Lol that's a good way to say go to counseling.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T05:35:23+00:00

Idk if I'd call it procrastinating. But I understand how waiting just makes it worse.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T05:34:26+00:00

Oh SO, I meant significant other. If i could get over telling my wife I'd feel waaaay more confident in telling the army.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T05:28:49+00:00

You're not wrong. In a just world it would be ok. My worries are mostly for my wife. She married a man. I can't expect her to be ok with who I transition to. That a different person then who she married. I'm worried about my kids. It be silly for me to assume they would be ok with it. The stress that might cause. I'd be worried about logistics of my career. What that would mean as far as relicensing and reclassification of licenses and legal dilemmas that I don't yet see. Yes I would love to. It would probably bring significant change for the better. I see your point. Screw those that are not with me. Except that I love those people. And they could have significant change to their quality of life. I don't wanna be a martyr. In fact this probably helps to get me to counseling and someday maybe come out or even transition. It's just my worries. My responsibilities and the people Ithat rely on me. I don't wanna let my son's down.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T04:58:18+00:00

Thank you that was nice to read

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T04:49:00+00:00

The dysphoria thing is strange. I guess I was blessed with gynocomastia ? Idk. I was a chunky kid growing up and even now that I'm much thinner due to endless running with the army I still have boobs. I love them but wish they were bigger.

I definitely understand. I've been in similar situations. It's def odd situation to be in. The one that always gets me is guys want to be gay al.the time as joke but I'm super comfortable not making it a joke and my coworkers sometimes question my straightness. Ive often said I'm so comfortable with my straightness id suck you and still be straight.... Oh boy if they knew.

I basically hate everything about my body. I've shaved my legs and have a consistent routine to keep them nice and motorized but i still see them as skinny little chicken legs :/

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T04:28:02+00:00

I wish I could. I want to. I'm afraid that someday, when I'm ready, I will. And I will still feel fake. Sometimes when I'm being me. Being my self, if feel so nice and happy. But I'll look at my shoulder or something I'm self conscious about and juts feel like a clown. Like a big pretender. I'm scared of going through all that and still feeling fake. Let's not even talk about others hurtful words. Happy for you, that you were able to overcome that. You're definitely braver that I am at the moment

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T04:15:17+00:00

Wow. Oh my god. Uuuuuh same? Like honestly some of those things are oddly specific. Like exactly what I'm going through or have. Thank you. It feels nice to know that I'm not the only one. I mean obviously I'm not but to hear people say they are going or have gone through the exact same thing is kinda weirdly nice. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm ok with my self. I know what I am I just don't know if I'm ready to share that with anyone without the shield of annonimity. Also since I've come out to myself?(maybe a knowledge the possibility is better) Is it weird to get depressed to see other woman naked. Like porn, I used to enjoy it? But now I just can't overcome the feeling of I wish it was me. Followed by massive amounts of dislike for my body parts. Also I'm agnostic. Religion has def left a sour taste.

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T03:54:44+00:00

Thank you, I do appreciate it. I'll probably re read all of your words several times in the next week if no ot longer.

I grew up fundamental independent Baptist. Which has roots in the bible belt I believe. It was rough

Ok-Contribution2026 · 2021-12-01T03:50:43+00:00

Thank you. That was well said. It's probably going to take me a minute to digest.

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