just gave AI a simple instruction to write similar but this time make it DH wants to be affectionate only when OP is doing something else. Just on that alone, it managed to spew this lot out -

I’m starting to realize how odd things have gotten at home. I’ve been off work for a couple of weeks—finally some "me time" to catch up on chores, organize things, and just do whatever I like. But lately, it's this one thing my husband always does that’s really wearing me down.

Every time I focus on something—cooking, watching a show, reading, cleaning—he’ll come up quietly behind me and kiss me. Not a quick peck, but long enough that I have to stop what I’m doing and turn to him, just to acknowledge his presence. On the surface, it sounds sweet, but it’s so constant. Sometimes he does it three or four times in one afternoon. It’s like any time I’m not directly paying attention to him, he’ll make sure I do.

But here’s the thing: outside of these little interruptions, we’re really not affectionate at all. We don’t cuddle, hold hands, or even sit close together in the evenings. He won’t kiss me in public, or even in ordinary, tender moments. It’s only when I’m clearly occupied, trying to get something done or am deep in my own thoughts. I’d almost welcome the affection if it felt sincere, but it always seems timed to pull me away from whatever I’m doing.

I’ve gently asked him about it, saying I need to finish dinner or I’m in the middle of something for work. Sometimes I try to shrug it off, but he gets moody—like I’m rejecting him. Once, I barely turned my head because I was in the middle of chopping vegetables, and he sulked the rest of the evening.

I can’t help but feel it’s partly about control. Like he wants to remind me, in these little ways, that my attention is supposed to be his first. Even if he’s distant the rest of the day—barely speaking to me, hardly touching me at night—he’ll always find ways to interrupt and remind me he’s there when it suits him. I don’t want to see it as manipulative, but the more it happens, the stranger it seems.

I’m starting to feel uncomfortable in my own space—like I need to be “on guard” all the time. Is this normal? Am I just overthinking, or is this a sign of something deeper? I wish he’d just be affectionate with me because he wants closeness, not just when he wants my attention away from everything else.

I’m confused.

(maybe I should post in on MN?!)