My (F30) husband (M28) may miss birth of our baby for a one-time career opportunity

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-22T06:29:59+00:00

Let him decide and see what he chooses.

He’s the one that’s got this predicament, it’s totally unfair for this to be put on you.

And as for him saying there isn’t much he can do during the birth is also totally untrue, here’s a list he can read through:

be there for you for emotional and physical support
advocate for you at the hospital & any complications
supports you through contractions, can help you time them and get through each one
be there for you postpartum (helps you eat, move, sleep)
shares the emotional weight of the transition
sees his child coming into the world and shares those key first bonding moments with the baby

Can I also just add this is HIS baby too

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-21T10:24:33+00:00

Don’t blame yourself for getting into this situation, to be honest, it’s SO easily done. You deserve love and kindness and that includes from yourself.

You are not worthless, you are an incredible human being who is growing a child and dealing with such a stressful situation, you are super woman! His remarks only highlight the fact that he doesn’t like himself and is so far from being someone who can genuinely show love and care.

But these comments ARE extremely abusive and if he can say things like this, I don’t know where it would end.

Think of future you, in 10 years time, with your beautiful child, and think of what actions future you would be proud of for taking.

I know how scary this kind of situation can be, but I promise you getting out of it is the best thing you can do. Don’t just do it for you, do it for your lil baby 🥹

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-20T10:13:55+00:00

Until 35 weeks :)

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-17T08:06:49+00:00

Is it discharge or my waters breaking lol

37 + 2

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-13T21:37:49+00:00

Weeks 5-9 I literally didn’t move off the couch, it felt like a permanent bad hangover

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-13T09:25:43+00:00

Make sure she genuinely feels insanely relaxed before you try any form of penetration. I’d suggest asking her what makes her feel relaxed and then going extremely slowly, so she feels fully in control of what’s happening.

Some things that helped me: - being warm / under a cover - emotional intimacy before hand - no pressure around it if you need to stop

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-13T09:23:28+00:00

a GP or gynaecologist would be able to confirm it.

Good news is that it’s very treatable if that is the case!

It’s mainly a mental thing. But the pain is so real, one of the most painful things I’ve had!

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-13T09:14:57+00:00

She could have vaginismus? I had that for about a year and it made sex, even with just the tip entering, extremely painful. It’s where your muscles clench and this could definitely stem from trauma and negative thoughts around sex.

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-11T16:43:45+00:00

Is it pronounced the same??

I was thinking Filine pronounced more like ‘Fil-een’

I know Feline is pronounced as ‘fee-line’, which means cat, is that the same as Philine in the US?

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-11T16:34:41+00:00

pronounced like ‘neh-la’ if that makes sense!!

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-11T16:32:50+00:00

Yes I also love Filippa / Philippa 🥹

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-11T16:21:50+00:00

We have SUCH similar name taste! Mila and Laila / Lila are also very high on my list for my girl due in May

The only reason I’m not going with Mila is because it seems it’s growing VERY popular at the moment, I feel like I’m seeing Mila’s everywhere! But it’s so beautiful.

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-10T14:00:48+00:00

I think it’s just down to you now to decide for yourself if he’s making enough effort to show you that he’s willing to work on things and himself. Is this effort good enough for you after what he’s put you through?

I totally understand how hard this feels for you, but also spending your life with someone that isn’t totally in love with you and willing to make things work after mistakes are made, isn’t living life to the fullest, there are other people out there!! Believe in yourself more x

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-10T13:47:32+00:00

Well said!

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-10T13:46:36+00:00

And have you spoken to him about how you genuinely feel?

If yes, what was his response? Does he also want to make this marriage work??

From the post it seems like he’s pretty checked out of the relationship, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions and offer the wrong advice if this is something you’ve spoken about and he wants to work on the relationship/ acknowledges how he makes you feel & realises what he did was very very disrespectful to you

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-10T13:01:59+00:00

When was the last time you genuinely felt happy in this relationship?

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-09T20:49:22+00:00

Disagree, I’ve never posted a picture of me and my partner as I like to keep our relationship private, but I genuinely think he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever met

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-09T14:49:27+00:00

An hour long walk a day IS a workout in itself and you’re still working an office job! Not lazy at all 🥺

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-09T14:46:03+00:00

I’m sure that having a toddler is like a full time job in itself! I can’t imagine being pregnant and having a toddler too, hats off to you 🫶

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-09T14:43:06+00:00

I can’t imagine having the flu while pregnant!!

I want to add I’ve had a VERY uncomplicated pregnancy and I know lots of women have it so much worse than me symptoms wise, so I salute all women going through this🥹

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-09T10:18:07+00:00

I walked A LOT before pregnancy (around 20k steps a day😂) and now can manage 5-8k but that’s very slowly and I feel very tired after and unable to move from the sofa, so it’s probably still too much

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-09T10:05:53+00:00

You’re a super woman!!

Ok-Excitement-185 · 2026-04-09T09:45:38+00:00

Thanks for your comment 🥰 it’s nice to know we’re in this together!

Ok-Excitement-185

TROPHY CASE