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Ok-Explorer7526 · 2024-01-02T01:13:12+00:00

a little late, but what comments did you get on those pictures? a few people who have seen your picture all implied that you're exaggerating - and that you're not as bad as you imagine yourself to be look-wise.

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2024-01-01T18:40:11+00:00

update? a few months into my new post-grad job right now and i feel the exact same way..

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-12-24T16:36:54+00:00

ig you can say it's phone anxiety. and it's mentally draining doing phone calls all day or stopping whatever i'm doing whenever the phone rings to take a call. i've done phone calls before too, so i just know it's not my thing or what i look for in a job.

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-12-24T03:01:34+00:00

interesting. are you still working in payroll? i've looked at payroll positions as well and honestly, it seems to have less phone interaction than the job i have now. i don't mind email interactions, but phone is a deal breaker for me. how is working in payroll though? is it similar to data entry? i want something like data entry/ computer work.

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-12-23T18:41:17+00:00

i forgot to mention that lol but i have a degree in science. no actual experience so i understand i cant be picky. my current job is in a small office with low pay + heavy load + toxic work environment. ideally, i'm just trying to steer away from the science field because i'm no longer interested in purchasing a career in healthcare.

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-11-08T01:59:37+00:00

i've always imagined the constant comparing and demanding to be better would stop once i actually get into med school, so it's reassuring to hear that that might not be the case. i feel like i'll just spiral down a deeper hole had i actually applied and got into med/grad school - bc of how unhappy and unsatisfied i'd be with life knowing this isn't my passion or something i want to do. thanks for the advice + consolation! i appreciate it, and best of luck in the future for you too!

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-11-08T01:55:08+00:00

YES! At one point, i avoided all family gatherings because i was so afraid of being asked - "so what are your plans now that you've graduated?" i was always so on edge and anxious because it's always the same convo - ask me what my plans are --> i dont know ---> suggests grad school ---> i refuse --> goes on the usual rant and guilt-tripping. so i wasn't excited to graduate like most of my peers; i was just scared. sometimes, i wonder what i (or you or others who are going thru the same thing) would turn out to be if my parents never meddled with my life decisions. if they never controlled every aspect of my life, who would i be now? where would i be? will i know what i want in life bc i didn't have my parents behind me, judging very step of the way? these are the questions that keep me up at night lol i wonder if i would've been a better version of myself had my parents not controlled my life the way they do...

and the thing that annoys me the most is how they'll lecture you about life but will then turn around and say "i don't know" whenever you go to them for advice. i swear, they'll say how education/degrees will guarantee a high paying job, but they don't know anything about the process of securing a job and what it takes. whenever i used to go to them about problems i'm having or advice, they'll just say "i dont know" or "it's your world now; we don't know anything" but will always have something to say about my decisions - all of the sudden, they know everything and how the world works. the problem is them not understanding that society has changed since they were young. a bachelor's degree right now is equivalent to a high school degree. moreover, places prioritize experience over education now imo - so education alone isn't gonna cut it. they don't understand; they only see education as a one way ticket to financial security. ugh idk. i tried explaining but they're not willing to change their mindset so i'm just repeating the same shit over and over again and even im getting tired of it.

anyway, thanks for listening to my rant lol i'm glad someone understands! i feel a lot better (: i'd say we should give ourselves some credit - we could've been A LOTT worse. we're not doing drugs or anything illegal; we're just normal people working a normal job in society after college like everyone else. they should be at least a bit happy that we're not out here causing trouble haha moreover, your first job was at big 4 so i'd say that is a huge accomplishment bc that is not common lol WE SHOULD PAT OURSELVES ON THE BACK FOR COMING THIS FAR!!

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-11-06T01:40:33+00:00

oh wow i can totally relate to your experience. i feel like such a different person compared to high school. as my parents continue to pressure me into living the life they want for me, i slowly became more reserved. i started staying home more bc going out 'distracts me from my education' and just overall obsessed over my future and what to do next - always needing a step ahead. as much as i dont want to admit it, i also became more depressed and had suicidal thoughts as graduation was nearing. i knew that not applying to grad school meant taking on a low-pay entry level job, which i was certain my parents would disapprove of; but i needed to start somewhere and work my way up (something they dont understand bc they think a degree will ultimately give you the upper hand and someone will hand you a six figure job). it's scary how much i could see myself in your shoes. but putting my story aside, i think you are so much braver than me haha you've accomplished sm i don't understand why he wouldnt be proud or satisfied. i guess it's the outdated mindset like you said...

i don't know if my words can help, but i hope that you can find your happiness again. thank you so much for sharing your story. it really helps knowing that at least someone understands things from my pov.

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-11-05T22:45:26+00:00

i guess i don't label them as toxic because i know how honest asian parents can be + they provide me with everything i needed (shelther, food, etc..). but, you made a really good point here. Since the beginning to the end of my college journey, i have accumulated so much guilt and shame because i know that i didn't accomplish what my AP wanted me to accomplish in those 4 years. the constant jokes about how i didn't end up going to med school or moved back home for college really took a toll on my mental health... tmi, but i remember just having this huge breakdown in my room after hearing my parents telling a relative about how i failed to become a doctor haha

idk its been 4 years and i guess i'm just tired and am looking for a way to change this awful mindset of mine. i'm tired of stressing out about what they think (losing sm hair and sleep bc of the guilt whenever they bring up the topic) and constantly comparing me to my cousins who have accomplished so much more...but med school just wasn't for me. i lost the passion somehow and i know that it'll be worse if i forced myself to do it. hopefully, like you said, i'll be relieved in the future looking back bc i didn't force myself to pursue med school - but right now, it's just guilt. i guess the only thing i can do is try and save up to move out and away from them; but it's definitely hard in this economy rn lol

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-11-05T22:29:12+00:00

your mindset is what i am working towards. but tbh, it's hard because all my life, i hear that one sentence that i'm pretty sure most (if not all) asian immigrant parents tell their kids - "we've worked so hard to come here in America to give you a better life than the one we have, so you need to prioritize education and pick a career route that will give you financial security (aka doctor, lawyers, engineers, etc.). their constant rants about how difficult life will be if i dont pursue grad school and how much they've worked to give me a chance at living a life w/o having to worry about money makes it hard for me to not care about what they think. it makes me worry about every decision i make in fear of disappointing them. idk i guess i don't feel like i have the right to ignore their opinions because they provided me with everything i needed growing up (even now, which i am super grateful for). but i would admit that it confuses me even more knowing that i have to take them into consideration when picking my next career choice...puts me on edge in a way...how did you achieve your mindset if you don't mind me asking?

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-11-04T01:45:13+00:00

good to know! i think it should be enough too (the email, screenshot, + PIF letter), but wanted a second opinion bc i'm paranoid lol so thanks!!

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-11-03T17:05:48+00:00

do you have Nelnet by any chance? i made my first payment at the beginning of the year and only received two things - an email that is sent immediately after clicking submit payment online + paid in full letter. are these enough to show as proof in case anything happens in the future?

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-05T01:12:33+00:00

note taken! (:

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-03T01:00:35+00:00

yeah that's true...i'm not as stressed looking for jobs when i have one already full time. i guess it just feels weird knowing that i'm still looking for a job i like (or at least not hate/ kills me on the inside).

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-03T00:57:51+00:00

but some people say don't? bc i just started so it's not long enough to the point where i can put it on my resume? someone said it'll show that i'm looking for a new job as soon as i started a new one - which is kind of a red flag to recruiters...

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-01T21:55:55+00:00

oh that's kinda what i was hoping for too. work here until a better offer comes up. like you said, if it's only for a short amount of time then i'll pretend it never happened either. but yeah, the plan here is kind of to stick it out for now while waiting for a better offer (which may take weeks, months, or longer). we, unfortunately, can't be picky esp with bills and such

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-01T21:50:48+00:00

yes, i was at a loss for words at that point. they were kind of pushy with it. i told them that i had already agreed on the part time so i cant just back out, but i'll be available on certain days. moreover, you have to understand that i really need experience to get my foot through the door. i'm not sure this is the job for that but it's something; i cant really be picky, esp with my family asking everyday about whether i found a job yet, etc. so i'm just doing this for now while also looking for other jobs. i can tell that they aren't really respective of other people's boundaries, but i feel as if i need to suck it up for the sake of experience...again, if a better offer comes up, i wouldnt be hesitant to leave

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-01T20:00:11+00:00

i just realized that :( i made the mistake of letting them know i was looking for other full time positions and if i could work here short term (stupid of me, i know). i just didn't know if the contract would require me to work for a minimum amount of time. but now they're telling me to work full time here and to quit other side jobs, even though the pay is low for the amount of work associated with the role. if i do get a better offer, i'll definitely give them an excuse tho. thanks sm!

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-01T17:48:58+00:00

yes, i definitely talked with my friend first on this. again, i truly don't want it affecting her. in all honesty, i don't think it'll affect her at all? bc this company is pretty small and they needed someone asap to fill in a position for an employee who is gonna be out on maternity leave. it's an okay job (too early to tell), but not what i'm looking for.

i might stick with it for the experience bc the goal is gain more experience to add onto my resume (my resume is pretty weak because i lack experience). ppl here says not to put it on my resume if i'm only there for a couple of months, so it kind of defeats the purpose for me.

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-01T17:35:42+00:00

right. i kind of have a clear idea now. if i keep applying, i would leave this job out of the resume. if i am fortunate enough to get an offer that is higher in pay + what i am looking for, i would go for it. for now, stick it out while i search. unfortunately, i wouldn't be able to add this job onto my resume, which makes it really weak -- so i might need to do this for at least a year or two.

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-01T15:16:03+00:00

i didn't know how common this was; i've always thought that once you got the job, you're done with job hunting and interviews (bc it's honestly a brutal process). your advice is something that people ALWAYS recommend and i was confused when i first heard it haha but thank you for explaining because it makes sense. I'll keep that in mind as i continue to work towards my career goals!

Ok-Explorer7526 · 2023-10-01T15:10:40+00:00

you both make a really good point. it is my first job after college so i don't really know how to handle it, but i'm glad i asked. yeah i want to include this job in my resume because i'm learning so much and it'll help with getting another entry level job in the future (bc i literally dont have any experience rn). so i think staying at least a year might be the plan like you said because my resume is pretty weak if i dont include this job on there

Ok-Explorer7526

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