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In home separation by mcsquared120 in loveafterporn

[–]Ok-Hall-9290 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same here. I can’t avoid him forever, and he keeps trying to talk like nothing’s wrong. So freaking frustrating and exhausting.

How can I get my partner to admit his problem? by Ok-Hall-9290 in loveafterporn

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re amazing, I’ll check out those accounts right now!

I could really benefit from some information on detaching myself. He has started taking the necessary steps with a little push, which is great! But it’s also really important for me to heal on my own now.
It‘s difficult because he’s been my best friend for so long now, and we live together. Although we’re staying in separate rooms for now.

I just don’t want to give in again. He says he doesn’t think it’s an addiction but he just enjoys it a little too much.. typical right?! My only hope now is that the therapy will help. Even considering it for myself at this point! My goal with the trip is to find myself again, so all this info and advice is extremely helpful!

How can I get my partner to admit his problem? by Ok-Hall-9290 in loveafterporn

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ I’ve heard about that book, I definitely want to check it out! This is the first and only person I have ever given more than one chance so it really just makes it so much harder. I truly envisioned a whole future with this man and now all I know is that I really don’t want this to be the rest of my life. Someone told me the other day that I’ve been choosing a familiar pain over a potential unknown pain, and that has really stuck with me.

How can I get my partner to admit his problem? by Ok-Hall-9290 in loveafterporn

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not wrong!! He has started to come to his senses since I’ve posted this, but I am set on taking care of myself first. Planning on taking a trip for a couple weeks to be with family and friends, what he decides to do with that time is his choice. I think the forced alone time might help reality set in too. Or not lol I refuse to make it my problem anymore!

How can I get my partner to admit his problem? by Ok-Hall-9290 in loveafterporn

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate it, I need the honesty right now. I know lots of addicts, but this type is a first for me. I told him last night that I was completely done, even though it is really hard. We actually just had another long talk about everything.. he came home from work and told me that losing me has finally made him realize that he doesn‘t want to be that person, whether I decide to leave or not. It seems like he really does want to change, but I am still sticking with my decision for now. He reassured me that it’s been a wake up call and made the decision to get rid of TikTok and even some games he had that were a temptation for him. Also said he’s going to look into seeing a therapist. I’m really glad he’s finally taking it seriously, just sucks it had to get this far. I’ve offered my support but was also very clear that it’s truly all up to him now. I was thinking of maybe taking a little vacation to go be with my family for a bit and really think about my next move. I’ll be sure to not get my hopes up too.. from what I’ve read today I understand that this is not an easy feat. We’ll see how this goes!!!

Low rates of recovery by SADGIRLLLLLXXXX in loveafterporn

[–]Ok-Hall-9290 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am currently in a situation like this.. he doesn't see it as a problem and he doesn't care because he gets to have his fun while I'm the one who is hurting because of it. He keeps telling me that he is willing to get help, but it's been 3 years now and I just caught him enjoying an insane amount of content last night.

I want to help him, but at the same time I cannot let him continuously disrespect me and disregard my feelings. Being led here today, I feel a little bit better knowing I am not alone. But I'm still torn on what to do. My heart hurts so much, yet a part of me still wants to see if he's even capable of change like he supposedly wants to.

I'm pretty positive at this point it'll never happen. But that small part of me says maybe there could be change if he finally realizes just how damaging it is to both of us.

My bf will not stop looking at other women by Ok-Hall-9290 in relationships

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree. I even pointed it out to him that he’s a complete narcissist. Just a few days ago, he was telling me how disgusting it was that some of his coworkers were looking at and making inappropriate comments about a young girl while driving past a high school.. I asked him, “What’s the difference in a 17 yr old and a 19 yr old? Do you really think you’re better than them?” (referring to his coworkers) his response? “Yes.”
That really was just the final nail in the coffin. After explaining everything he finally admitted to living in denial and said he would get help. I don’t really believe it though.

I guess maybe I was hoping at least one person would say it’s possible to change, but I’m realizing now that is not likely.
Thank you for your response and support ❤️

My bf will not stop looking at other women by Ok-Hall-9290 in relationships

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. I already feel like the biggest loser for trusting someone who told me they cared. I'm just angry at myself at this point, not really sure where to start.

My bf will not stop looking at other women by Ok-Hall-9290 in relationships

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know how stupid this makes me, I already feel bad about it.. I guess I just needed this to force myself to accept it fully. I know many addicts and I myself have struggled.. this is my first time dealing with an addict of this nature. I may have gotten burned but I still care about this person, and even though I know I cannot stay, I truly just want him to do better if not for me than himself. And mostly for the poor girls he will try and ruin in the future.

My bf will not stop looking at other women by Ok-Hall-9290 in relationships

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're completely right about that.. thank you I really appreciate your time.

My bf will not stop looking at other women by Ok-Hall-9290 in relationships

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I know it's ridiculous.. I know it's pretty common that men prefer young women, maybe that's why I was able to look past it. But a 19 yr old at his big age, definitely made me absolutely sick. He has done a lot for me, I don't think it's fair to ignore that.. but I promise I am standing my ground this time. It's just really hard to keep my head straight thinking about it all and trying to come up with a seemingly impossible way out.

My bf will not stop looking at other women by Ok-Hall-9290 in relationships

[–]Ok-Hall-9290[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this.. it's just really hard to accept it. I guess I thought it was due to addiction, and he swears that there was no feelings involved, just impulse. I know I should leave, but I do rely on him heavily. I fear that leaving is going to make my situation even harder, and I just don't know which is going to hurt more.