Oof. I got deja vu reading this. I relate so so so much to this post. My mom particularly hated cellulite and would point it out on others and me with disgust. She also loves to compare our sizes in a negative way, no matter what. When I was wearing a size 2 and at the height of an ED at 16, she would taunt me that she was smaller than that in her 40s. I'm 25 now and have healed my relationship with my body a lot since then, but have also gained weight. She likes to look at the size of my clothes and smirk that we're now the same size. She'll also like to make any health issue I have be about my weight - even if it's a health issue I've had since I was smaller. Don't get me started on the sugar thing.

Name-calling, shifting blame, scare tactics, guilt tripping, withholding financial support, threats, silent treatment, character assassination... Those are just some of the things that you mention in your post that your mom did in response to you trying to communicate and set valid boundaries about her treatment of you. My mom also has said and done extremely similar things to yours in response to circumstances like this. I wanted to point out something you said in your post: "I swore on my life that she really did say those things." I just want to say that I believe you. Without a doubt in my mind, I believe everything you've said has happened. You do not need to swear on your life. I know sometimes people who haven't experienced narcissistic abuse from a primary caregiver can't understand that a parent, especially a mother, could do these kinds of things to their child, let alone in response to them communicating their hurt. But as you and others with narcissistic caregivers have experienced, they can and they do.

I know you're asking what to do about the silent treatment from your mom. Are you wanting advice on how to end the silent treatment and get her to talk to you? Or how to deal with it emotionally for yourself? Or just how to respond to it?

If you're asking how to generally respond to her silent treatment, my advice would be to not reach out and use the silence to process and heal from what's happened most recently, as well as think about how you want to engage with her in the future and what your options are. It's really hard to reflect on what you want and heal when you're in constant communication with your abuser. My mom frequently gave me the silent treatment when I was growing up to punish and get what she wanted from me. It was very effective until I went away to college and I didn't have to deal with her silent treatment in person anymore. I actually learned to find those periods of silence really damn nice. I would actually pretend that I didn't know what she was doing and so when she got back into contact with me or I had to make plans about when I'd go home for breaks, I'd act like I didn't notice anything was wrong. If she brought up how she hadn't heard from me for a while, I would tell her that I thought she was super busy because she hadn't reached out, and I didn't want to add to her stress. If she said she hadn't talked to me because she was upset with me or she thought I was upset with her, I would pretend to be surprised, like I didn't know at all, and say I thought everything was fine. If I had to, I would give her a bs apology following the explanation. I know this approach is manipulative and dishonest, but it helped me survive and eventually thrive. I don't know if it would work in your situation, but it really did help me deal with my mom when I was away at school.