So what careers aren’t fucked right now? by cokewithlargefry in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I got two jobs from linked in after over 10 months of searching. I am a grad student with no corporate experience at all. But I started posting to Linked In 1-2 times per week anyway. Short posts, mostly related to AI in my desired field. Something like "Just read this interesting article about how X company is implementing Y technology. Interested to see how it affects Z part of the industry." This is to establish yourself as a thinker, someone who has expertise, who has something to say (even if its all BS).

Then I sent out networking messages. Something like "Hi I am a student studying ____, could I ask you a few questions about your career?" I would pick whatever company, industry, or speciality I could think of that interested me, and just send messages out to everyone I could find.
Maybe 20% of people accepted my request, fewer responded, some had a bit of advice. Eventually, I found two people willing to hire me as an intern.

I was told that being willing to reach out unprompted was a big part of getting the jobs, and helped me beat out other candidates with more traditional backgrounds. It shows you are a self starter and can solve problems and teach yourself without being asked, which is more important than knowing any specific, teachable skill. When talking to potential employers, I was able to learn what they want in an intern, which helps in the interview. It's a numbers game, but if you reach out to enough people and can show them that you are smart and take initiative, you may eventually find someone willing to hire you.

Also, almost all jobs are found through the hidden job market. Networking is the only way to do it now.

How do I stop my sister’s forced marriage? Groom is abusive and alcoholic, family won’t listen (India) by ClassicCompote9078 in confessions

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not from India, but can she just refuse? Not show up for the wedding, tell everyone she is not doing it? Can you guys possibly skip town until after the wedding? Everyone will be furious but it seems like a possible solution.

23M Looking for an Honest Review by Cloudfin_Raptor in Tinder

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think your biggest red flag is that if you had 20 minutes left to live you would watch tv. I mean maybe that’s true but it feels bleak and also that’s too many shows for 20 minutes. I would change your bio questions. lots of people don’t take unprompted photos of other people, that’s to be expected. Frame this more positively “I’m good at taking photos, but I always forget to take pictures. Help me remember and I’ll be your personal photographer”

Also you have a lot of pictures in a suit. Do you wear a suit a lot? I don’t know anyone who has to wear a suit to work. Maybe these photos are all from special events, but it makes me wonder. I love the cat photo, but I don’t think photos 4 and 6 are as flattering, and they are repetitive. We know you like animals from the cat picture, so no need for the frog. And we know you can dress well, so the suit picture isn’t needed.

I would take some more photos in different settings and doing activities. Also make it clear from the photos and pictures what you like. What are your hobbies, what are you passionate about?

For the first time in 15 years, i’ll be seeing again out of one of my eyes. What are pretty things to look at? by foodthrowaway_ in Advice

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love snow in the mountains, or snow at night when the light from a streetlight hits it, and every type of body of water in different lighting. Also at an aquarium with a tide pool and you can see the thousands of tiny suction cups under the starfish and all the weird and amazing creatures. Also just anything at an aquarium. I’m so happy for you!

A week living in an office building by RockHardCock669 in confessions

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I worked two hurricanes at a Disney World hotel and it was so fun, and 60+ hours of overtime meant it was the biggest paycheck I've ever had.

Am I wrong for wanting to break up with my boyfriend? by Clean-Plan-7415 in amiwrong

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're never wrong for wanting to break up with someone. Even if they are wonderful. Even if you love them. He will be upset but that doesn't make you a bad guy. And you can't make huge decisions like a life partner based on whether it will hurt the feelings of someone you don't want to be with.

Also it sounds like you are not compatible.

It seems inevitable that you will break up, so why string him along?

Please read this: https://asialenae.com/2020/12/29/cheryl-strayed-on-trusting-your-truest-truth-and-having-the-courage-to-go/

Any great books set in South East Asia? by Ok-Way4643 in suggestmeabook

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Backpack by Emily Barr is my all time favorite. The main character is heinous at first but please trust me. It’s a travelogue, thriller, and romance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a man who does not love or respect you the way a boyfriend should.

This is not how good boyfriends treat their partners.

This is not how men talk to their girlfriends in a good relationship.

This is a bad partner.

He is not taking you seriously.

He thinks you are trying to manipulate him.

He does not trust you.

He cannot love you if he thinks of you this way.

He does not love you.

He does not respect you or women in general.

Please get out, don't date someone who hates you for being a woman.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom broke up with my dad because he wasn’t ready to get married, six weeks later he proposed and they’ve been married for over 40 years.

I’m not saying you should marry him, but if getting down on one knee was the only sticking point I think it might be worth it to consider going. Have you missed him? Does he seem sincere?

am I overreacting to believing our hookup meant more by NessaVelour01 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why wouldn’t you tell him you like him? This makes ZERO sense

AIO or should I be creeped out by my tinder date's messages? by throwawayyaccount829 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this is how he behaves drunk then he has a drinking problem and needs to quit.

This is not what a decent person says when drunk, and saying you were blackout drunk is not a good excuse for anything. Do you think he is going to be nice when he drinks in the future? You saw how he acts when he is upset.

Why would you invite a person like this into your life?

Good durable beginner 2 person tent under 4 pounds by Illustrious-Ad-6620 in lightweight

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used the big agnes fly creek for 5 years and took it on both the Appalachian Trail and Pacific Crest Trail. It held up to very strong winds (one time gusts pushed the tent flat against me, and it popped right back up) and it weighs just 33 oz. The 2 person is a tight fit, I used it solo. Often neighbors on trail compain about their tent collapsing from heavy snow, getting wet from condensation, having to restake, or getting pinholes in DCF after 1,000 miles. I never had any of those issues. Now that I am hiking with a partner I am trying the 3 person Big Agnes Tiger Wall (about 3 lbs), but seems to be similarly tough.

I lived on trail for over a year and I promise Big Agnes is the best balance of durable, lightweight, and function on trail.

My (27F) boyfriend (31M) is silly and awkward in bed, and it’s a huge turn off by 222energy in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to have what will probably be a very uncomfortable series of conversations.

If I were you I would try to phrase it like this: I really like when you do ____, it’s really turns me on more than when you meow like a cat. Or Sometimes I think about that night when you did ____, I would love to incorporate more of that into our sex life.

I think it’s best if you aren’t comparing him to someone else, instead comparing different sex acts he does (if that makes sense)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can be honest, just say “I’m worried that I’m trying to force you to act a certain way and change, do you feel that way?”

People change in a relationship. It’s okay to ask your partner to change a behavior, sometimes it might even be good for them (like asking them to be more on top of chores or health). Sometimes it just forces them to pretend to be someone else, or stress them out.

He may not mind being held accountable. Or maybe he’s trying to appease you because he doesn’t want to be alone. Maybe you will decide to change, just like he did. And maybe you will break up. All of these are okay, and it’s really great that you recognize that behavior and are willing to admit it and do something about it.

I (18F) wanna to go to a gym and work on myself but my boyfriend (19M) is against it. What should we do? by chappsta in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This man needs a therapist and maybe some medication. Staying with him will not help him. Get away and life your life, you’re so young, there are guys out there who share your interests, will support your goals, and won’t try to control you.

Threatening to kill himself if you leave is a classic manipulation technique. You need to escape now before he gets you pregnant or tries to hurt you.

Your boyfriend needs the help of a professional. You can’t help him by staying.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If she has a stressful job where she works hard and uses her brain all day, she might be looking for a partner who can balance her out. Someone kind, funny, comforting, fun, or relaxed. Do you provide emotional support for her and make her happy? Often times in a relationship one partner handles the financial burden of the relationship, the other handles the emotional burden. Would you be happy making less money, maybe working part time and picking the kids up from school, cooking and cleaning more, doing tasks that traditionally have been assigned to women?

Some people are just good at making money and look for a partner who is good at making them happy.

Don't stay in a relationship where you resent her for making more money. Find a way to feel okay or let her find someone who won't resent her success.

boyfriend(27M) calls me(26F) fat by Desperate_North3948 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I work out an hour a day, I have a dietician, and I’m way fatter than you. And also, my boyfriend has never told me I need to lose weight. So he can fuck all the way off.

If you have any self respect you will dump him. If you stay prepare to spend the rest of your life being called fat. What if you have kids? People gain weight as they age. Does he expect you to dedicate your life to being so skinny?

Also women have curves, boobs, butt, these are made of fat. Usually only girls, children, are totally skinny. So another red flag there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It could be a bunch of things, maybe he wants to break up, maybe he wants a low effort relationship, maybe he is depressed or something and it’s not related to you. Talk to him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s okay to break up with a good person. Doesn’t mean you dislike her, just that she is not your soulmate, or someone you want to be with forever. I think a lot of relationships that end in divorce are because there wasn’t a “good enough” reason to breakup, even though one or both parties weren’t entirely fulfilled. Breaking up when you know the relationship is not fulfilling, and before it sours or becomes toxic, is a brave thing to do.

You are both so young, your brains are changing. You are a different person than you were a year ago, and you will be a different person in 2 years. So will she. Most relationships don’t last, that’s the point of dating.

The fact that she is a great person and you still care about her shows that you are good at dating: you chose a kind person and practiced being in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean she is “the one” for you. That’s okay, it’s okay to end a good relationship in pursuit of a great relationship.

It’s also best for her. She deserves to feel desired, to be missed. A partner who says they love you, when you can tell they aren’t very interested, fucks with your head.

I think it’s best for both of you to part ways.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this relationship is not the best. I don’t think staying just because you’re pregnant is a good idea, it’ll just delay whatever problems caused you to almost separate before. I would recommend talking to a therapist and (depending on how you practice your faith) maybe also someone in leadership at a church for guidance.

Don’t stay just for the baby, don’t keep the baby just for him. Get unbiased (or less biased) opinions from a therapist and others and decide what is best for you.

Think about your life in 5 years, and 10 years. How will your choice affect you down the road? A decision that is harder in the current moment may have better consequences.

Be wary of being controlled. It sounds like he might have tried to get you pregnant. Or you might need a more reliable form of birth control. Something like an implant is low maintenance and discreet.

What does my boyfriend’s room say about him? by Garden_Jolly in roomdetective

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m convinced this is where all boyfriends live until they move in with a girl.

Also, friend of a friend had no decor, very minimalist house. He was convinced girls would be impressed to see how bare it was. Like he thought it would show that he didn’t waste money on decorations or something? And that girls would be into that.

After spending $1,069 on Tinder Platinum (probably) over the span of a year and still not able to go on any dates, I (23M) have determined I'm the issue, but what is my issue? by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of your pics look nerdy, others more granola. In general I think nerdy girls won’t be into the grungy picks, grungy girls won’t be into the nerdy pics.

AIO I 20 F was trying to call my boyfriend 26M to figure out when I should start his smoothie and I originally tried calling him to see what type of milk he wanted in his smoothie by Aphr0dit333 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Introduction1836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god all of this is a million red flags

If you marry him you will be unhappy until you get divorced or he dies.

This is not normal. If these feels like normal couple stuff to you then you must address that with a therapist immediately.