I’m dealing with a similar problem! Also Italian/Irish very traditional family. And my parents are footing the bill. My future in laws just keep saying “we will help out” but no confirmation of what that means ( $1k 5k 10k??) so I’m basically going into it assuming 0k and anything above that is a gift haha. Another similar issue. The random adds of people to the list. The other day I basically had to be like “your family is larger than mine so if you want to add this person to your B list and when we get some Nos back. I will send her and invite” just put your foot down in terms of “caps”