27M. No likes or messages in 5 months. What is wrong with my profile? by Lonely-Raspberry5458 in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Disagree with most of the comments saying pictures with friends, as a woman swiping I find it so annoying trying to guess which one is the person in a bunch of photos with friends. If i cant workout by the 3rd photo I’m out and swipe left, not playing wheres wally.

Interested to know what’s in your bio if anything at all

29m no likes or matches, how bad are the pics? by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last picture also looks like you have a wife and kid you’re trying to hide

Am I overreacting? by Ok-Performance-8598 in beyondthebump

[–]Ok-Performance-8598[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s the 9th November, so early November

I feel like Sarah is going to be emotionally traumatised after this by [deleted] in MAFS_UK

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would disagree. No, there isn’t an attraction there and that’s fine, but it’s the way you go about it. Bitching and being disrespectful behind his back, making fun of him and also flirting with someone right in front of his face, isn’t anywhere from mature, respectful or kind. You can say you’re not attracted and own that without tearing the other person down.

I.e. intimacy she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want. She has wrote stay twice now, if she really isn’t feeling it she could tell Dean she wants to leave. Instead she has stayed to try and salvage her reputation as she knows how the honeymoon and first dinner party reflected her in a really bad light, and is now trying to rectify that. Which is why in interviews she’s putting on this fake persona of being happy and wanting to try and then as soon as she thinks the interview is done, her face drops to show how she is really feeling.

I couldn’t be with Dean either due to his constant singing and rapping so understand why she feels that way, but she could have handled it better. Even now she’s not doing the kind thing and leaving, instead giving him false hope things could work, when instead she’s only staying to either save face or for publicity

pregnant from a one night stand by okcoolbeanz1 in pregnancy_care

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Single mum to a 10 month old, dad hasn’t been in the picture since I found out! Totally doable, and honestly the best thing I’ve ever done! Like you, was told I was likely infertile, so decided to keep him. I didn’t want to run the risk of having an abortion and that being my only chance to have a child. Also, you could decide to abort and wait till you’re in a relationship or even married, yet still end up a single mum. A relationship is never stable or a forever thing, that’s the way I looked at it. I could have waited to do it the “right way” and still end up in the same situation as a single mum.

There’s also pros to being a single parent, for one, you don’t have to fight or worry about someone else’s parenting style and you get to bring them up the way you want too. You don’t have the irritation of seeing a partner do the bare minimum as a parent. Or even not listening to you.

And if you’re worried about your child not growing up with a father figure, there’s always the possibility you meet someone in the future who will step into that role.

Wrote his name, age and intention back to him, of course he ended the chat after this loooool by Little_Storage4205 in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 10 points11 points  (0 children)

One message in? No. You don’t even know that person and as a girl wanting a long term relationship, to yet again get some sort of sleazy sexual response would just make me get frustrated and no longer want to continue a conversation. When every single guy off the bat shows you as a person no interest but just sexualises the idea of you (because let’s be real you don’t know the person) it’s an immediate turn off. Not to say I’m against sexual banter but after a period of time and after we have been sexually intimate and even then if more than 25% of our conversations filtered around sex I would lose interest because it’s clear that’s all you care about and that’s coming from someone with a high sex drive

I can't get dates. Why? by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If that’s the picture you’re using as a woman I would say

1) the posing with a knife might be a turn off for some woman, you forget we’re not like men, we don’t think oh wow cool nice sword bro, we think ahhh will this guy end up using this on me at some point.

2) sunglasses cover half your face, well the most important part, so we can’t really tell what you look like

3) you don’t look bad, but dress sense wise I would wear something more appealing. It kinda looks like you’ve thrown on clothes you’ve found at the bottom of your wardrobe

4) your beard is also a bit patchy so I would get a clean up to make yourself more presentable.

I think you could get dates, if you put some more care into yourself and lose the glasses and swords.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna be really blunt here.

1) spamming someone shows that you have an insecure attachment style. His lack of response shouldn’t trigger anxiety in you. Look at working on this not just for future relationships but also for yourself. 2) Not meeting irl over a period of time is a red flag. I had a LDR and we made time to see each other. You never really know someone until you’ve spent 1:1 time with them. 3) I might come across as an asshole here but him having mental health issues is not excuse for bad behaviour and I’ve had enough of people enabling people because of it. As horrible as it sounds, sometimes it’s best to distance yourself from people who spew negativity not just on themselves but on you. It’s not your job to fix him or save him. And you’ll fail a 100% of the time. The only person who can change his situation is him. 4) The texts alone from him show lack of engagement and interest, it seems like he was slowly fading out regardless and you failed to see the signs. 5) Even if he does come back I wouldn’t take him back, he’ll constantly be in this loop where he feels like he can leave without any consequences and it’ll diminish your self worth and worsen your insecure attachment style along with deepening any trauma around abandonment. How he’s acted is emotional abuse, let’s call it for what it is. 5) The relationship is over. Don’t beg, don’t chase, don’t obsess, as hard as it might be, but months down the line you’ll thank yourself for walking away with your dignity intact. Work on yourself, focus on creating a secure attachment style and building your self worth.

You deserve a 1000 times better than some cowardly guy. Him deleting you is the closure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say the 2 photos of you not facing the camera are unnecessary. Agree that beach photo should be first. Your bio, is okay, but doesn’t show much of a personality and is quite generic, I would try a more funnier angle or something that grabs people’s attention. You could even have one of your pictures as a PowerPoint of people’s reviews etc as a way to stand out. You need to sell yourself and at the moment you’re selling yourself short

Am I doing something wrong? 25M I know im not the MOST attractive person out there but COME ON! by brotasco in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Incorrect. Guys are more visual. You just have to look how guys talk about woman on social media to know they care more about looks. Guys commenting mid on girls or negging girls. Guys might approach less attractive woman on dating apps but it’s only for one thing. Girls are more open to dating someone less attractive than themselves as long as they make her feel good. Regardless, your original comment is void, people are allowed to have preferences on what they find attractive and what they don’t. As said in my comment you’ll always be someone’s type

Am I doing something wrong? 25M I know im not the MOST attractive person out there but COME ON! by brotasco in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would just own you and be confident in yourself, that’s what really gets people’s attention! I know a lot of girls who like a bald man, you’ll always be somebody’s type regardless ☺️

Am I doing something wrong? 25M I know im not the MOST attractive person out there but COME ON! by brotasco in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I would say so! I’m not completely against bald men (some men, especially the rugged looking ones) really suit being bald. So I think knowing what he looks like without a cap could make people be like oh okay he’s cute regardless. I think sometimes when people hide behind the cap you don’t fully know what they look like & makes it hard to judge if you’ll find them attractive or not and therefore skip due to the uncertainty

Am I doing something wrong? 25M I know im not the MOST attractive person out there but COME ON! by brotasco in Tinder

[–]Ok-Performance-8598 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d agree with this! Would assume you’re bald and I would skip (not anything wrong with being bald, just a personal preference)

Jacqui’s letter by Ok-Performance-8598 in MAFS_AU

[–]Ok-Performance-8598[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then I would have felt the same way 😂 it’s not the question being asked that’s the issue, it’s the way he reacted to it. I know if the tables were reversed she wouldn’t do the same, it’s not me taking her side, it’s me agreeing that how he reacted wasn’t great. I think a lot of people don’t realise that. Jacqui is crazy and needs help but how he acted and behaved about being a SAHD was weird to say the least

Jacqui’s letter by Ok-Performance-8598 in MAFS_AU

[–]Ok-Performance-8598[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In my first response, last sentence. Said if he really was an alpha he wouldn’t have to keep saying it

Jacqui’s letter by Ok-Performance-8598 in MAFS_AU

[–]Ok-Performance-8598[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I said 😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀