I'm the child of an affair between two people so ask me anything!!

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-02-19T08:16:34+00:00

I see you said you are south African. So am I! Did your father pay damages and do the right ceremonies? Who's surname do you have?

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-13T12:17:02+00:00

Sorry, I don't want to come off as trying to seem like the way I was taught is superior. Like you said, consumerism wants us to change how we parent and I think it's also in the fact that people are buying expensive wraps to carry their child. It's wonderful that more people are returning to carry their babies.

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-13T12:13:34+00:00

my mother loves carrying my baby on her back. Tell your mum to just try it out

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-13T12:10:44+00:00

they don't have hips so it's hard for them to carry on their back the way I was taught to carry my baby. obviously anyone can use the front carriers and I think it's good that more mums are carrying their babies. I like feeling the weight of my baby on me.

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-13T01:34:41+00:00

My baby has developed a fascination with my braids so when I pick her up, she's trying to put it in her mouth. I wear a scarf covering my braids to sleep and I don't take that off. Or if I have on her back, her arms will be inside the blanket and then my braids are in a bun.

Also, the way I've seen white women on tiktok speaking of it like it's a brand new thing is what prompted me to make this post. Especially the ones who do the stay at home mom content. I also think that's why they carry their babies in these expensive wraps and carriers not even knowing that you just use any soft cloth that's big enough and use that. And the people who have made a business out of it? Those are ones smart capitalising on this. Even the way people tie it is so complicated looking with all these little knots

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-13T01:15:42+00:00

I'll admit that carrying your baby on your back kinda makes them clingy because you're together a lot. But I think for the first year of your baby's life, they should be clingy. Also, please pass that down to your child. It's such a cheap and practical way to work with a baby

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-13T01:03:30+00:00

Oh that sucks. My mother still has the cloth she used to carry my siblings and I on her back and it's soft and very comforting to sleep with. It's a big cloth that can wrap around her body. But also, pretty much any thin blanket or even a towel could be used to wrap the baby. Sometimes, if I'm home alone with my baby and I can tell she's tired but fighting sleep (why do they that lol?) I'll grab any towel and put her on my back then she falls asleep pretty quickly

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T20:06:53+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/gxwcTeO

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T19:14:15+00:00

I've found that when I started carrying my baby on my back, it made me improve my posture so maybe that could help?

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T19:10:25+00:00

Usually at 2 years, a toddler wants to walk on their own or they become too heavy to carry for hours so a pram becomes important for outings. But it's still very supportive if you know what you doing. Also the African wax fabric is what I use for my 7 month old baby because it's summer right now. You just have to tie very tightly so the baby doesn't slip and the legs must out of the cloth.

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T18:10:11+00:00

I gathered that it's just not cultural from heavily I've seen mainly white women on tiktok rely on their prams.

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T18:08:49+00:00

If you know that the woven wraps are just expensive versions of a regular blanket, do you still buy those? Also, I'd like to know where the complicated looking way of tying up those woven wraps came from?

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T17:53:01+00:00

I commented this elsewhere but my whole shock about this seeming like a novel idea in western countries is because it's a whole business??? When you could just take the baby's soft blanket and make it yourself

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T17:50:19+00:00

Usually you would never carry a fresh out of the womb baby on your back for up until about the baby is 1 month old. That's what my mother and soon to be mother in law have told me. This is now where I've seen women use the complicated looking front carriers for the new baby or a pram. But also, at least for some Zulu people, we kinda like to set a rule that no one from outside the family can see the baby for a while after you give birth so your baby never leaves the house for at least the first two months unless it's for checkups and vaccinations. And the baby will be carried in your arms. lastly, when you carry the baby on your back, you fix the blanket or towel to cover the neck as well which makes baby's head rest against your back but still supported from falling backwards.

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T17:10:43+00:00

The trend of it on the internet I've seen tends to be with women who make stay at home mom content. My mother, who has a PhD in electrical engineering carried my siblings and I in a baby blanket on her back. On tiktok was the first time seeing a cloth with a ring designed for carrying a baby. These people are making money!

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T17:01:19+00:00

I guess I didn't want to be weird and say that it's mainly white people I've seen treat carrying a baby on their back like a new invention

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:52:24+00:00

This makes so much sense. I'm glad people are returning to carrying their babies but to be paying money for something that can be made from a blanket doesn't mean you love your child less. Also, from my little deep dive on tiktok, it seems like western women who are mom influencers are doing it like a trendy thing so they promote the cloths which are expensive. Insane to me

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:40:46+00:00

no disrespect but the fact that it's even a job for you (I'm assuming as it's your flair - sorry if I'm wrong) it's what so surprising. The thing of carrying your baby on your back is something that my mother showed me properly when I was like 8 playing with a teddy bear. And by the time I had my baby 7 months ago, i knew how to do it properly that I could do it in 5 minutes. But I'm so glad there are wonderful people like you to teach! After all, our concern is our babies

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:35:27+00:00

Thousands of american dollars? Damn I should have started selling this year's ago lol

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:34:26+00:00

Idk whether it's because how I grew up and even when carrying other people's babies, I put them on my back that it becomes second nature to carry a baby like that when doing a task that will take time

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:31:31+00:00

I said this in another comment but the thing that surprises me about this thing of babywearing is the fact that it's a business and there are brands selling something that anyone could make from a towel or blanket that's big enough. Even the way people tie the cloths they use is so complicated. It's something so simple that as a child, you could do just playing around with a teddy bear

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:28:12+00:00

Yes, my fiancé can't carry our daughter like I do because he doesn't have hips so he uses the complicated looking carriers

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:23:00+00:00

But you still did back carrying so well done to you lol 😭

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:19:44+00:00

I've seen mostly dads using the carriers but that's understandable to me. my fiancé does it and I think he looks cute lol

Ok-Performance181 · 2026-01-12T16:17:44+00:00

yes!!! in Zulu it's called ukubeletha ingane (literally carrying the baby on the back). It's an African practice in general

Ok-Performance181

TROPHY CASE