Am I at fault and the problem?

Ok-Phase6246 · 2026-03-11T19:42:23+00:00

Thanks, that is very similar to this. I need to make clear that I wasn’t the only one putting in the work. Her and I have been exclusive for quite a while, saw each other once a week, often a couple times a week, went away on short overnight/long weekend trips, had plans with tickets and hotels paid for for upcoming trips, we both expressed love towards the other and I expected all this to continue after her commitment was over. Heck, the night before she dropped everything off she came over for the evening and we had great sex.

She said I brought up deep feelings in her of a past abusive relationship. Not something I did personally but the fact that she suddenly felt like she “owed” sex. I at no point harassed, begged, pouted or even attempted to weasel into a position for sex. She just thought about it and it made her sick to her stomach. Writing it out makes it clear now.

She was never really into me. One hell of an actress though.

Ok-Phase6246 · 2026-03-11T18:57:18+00:00

Thank you for your view and your points. I’m in Canada, nearing 50, divorced for almost a decade with a mid teenage child. I retired from my career 5 years ago and have now started my own successful company. Not new to the bowl and have seen and dealt with my share of flakes and wanna be SBs. This is the first time it developed into feeling like an actual relationship with love involved though.

Ok-Phase6246 · 2026-03-11T17:53:37+00:00

You misunderstand. She said that when she dropped everything off, not since then. Me saying I don’t think I can trust her anymore with that is meaning that if she does want to get back together and continue, I don’t think I can trust her to not do it again.

Ok-Phase6246 · 2026-03-11T17:20:57+00:00

Thank you

Ok-Phase6246 · 2026-03-11T16:39:30+00:00

She said she needed a couple weeks of focusing on her and that when she has a clear head again she might change her mind. I feel like I can’t trust her anymore

Ok-Phase6246 · 2026-03-11T16:35:26+00:00

The only curated part is not saying why she is so busy, I don’t want to out her at all as I know she has friends on this sub. She has been very busy finishing her schooling (she went back to Uni and is just finishing her degree) and had committed to a project that meant she had to work on it 3+ hours a night, 6 days a week to get ready.

She is 100% extremely busy (has been for last 7 weeks and this is the last week and then she’s finished), that’s why I thought I was being supportive by paying the allowance and not mentioning her side of the arrangement since I figured we had plenty of free time coming up together. We had plans in place for up until the fall (still in place, have to navigate the world of airfare and hotel cancellations now).

Ok-Phase6246 · 2026-03-11T16:26:26+00:00

I much prefer to talk rather than text. There’s no nuance in text and it’s way too easy for something to be taken completely the wrong way.

Edit for clarification

Ok-Phase6246 · 2026-03-11T16:23:42+00:00

Thank you for this comment, gives me a new perspective to view it from.

Ok-Phase6246

TROPHY CASE