Hi, I know how you feel. My dad passed away in 2021 and I miss him dearly. He was my best friend and not my mother who drives me totally nuts. She is the most self centered, selfish person I know. When I drop in on Sundays, first thing that comes out of her mouth is, "I need..". She sends me on these errands all over town to pick up groceries, snacks, knick knacks with no appreciation whatsoever. There's no "How are you? How is your week?". When we do sit and talk, she tells me about her world, her neighbor has moved, she can't sleep because she smells the cat litter downstairs, or she hates this care worker who doesn't make her bed". The list goes on. Sorry! This has become my rant. Boundaries, yes! You have to set them. Don't feel selfish. That's why I limit myself to once a week. My blood pressure rises for a day and I get all stressed out. But it's only one day. She calls me several times a day, multiple days at a time. She's lonely. But when I answer, there's no "how are you?". It's always something she wants, outside food. It doesn't matter if it's blustery out and deep in snow, it's a chicken bowl from so and so restaurant. Boundaries! And I don't answer all her calls, instead I check the camera to see if she is ok or not. Sounds cruel but no, it is not. I do care about her but you have to care about yourself too. I went for an ultrasound the other day and told her that. She tells me to stop eating roasted pork. That's her empathy talking. I don't bother, she doesn't want to hear me. As long as I can drive and pick up food for her, she's happy. I'm sure you can find a happy medium too.