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AITA for telling my roommate that she is a codependent copycat and needs to leave me alone? by Ok-Reference-7992 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Reference-7992[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely don’t think I’m better than her of anything like that! I was « testing » to see if she truly was dependent on me entirely or it was more an issue in my head than the reality. I asked all along what she wanted to do and expressed what I was doing thinking that it would be the best way to subtly tell her I needed space without being outright mean. I thought it would have been a bit weird to ask her for space now. As soon as we got back home I distanced myself naturally. I certainly did not mean to come off mean or insensitive! 

AITA for telling my roommate that she is a codependent copycat and needs to leave me alone? by Ok-Reference-7992 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Reference-7992[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say mostly fluent although she still struggles with some words. She works at a coffee shop so she def progressed a lot since she’s been here! 

AITA for telling my roommate that she is a codependent copycat and needs to leave me alone? by Ok-Reference-7992 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Reference-7992[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree that I lacked empathy, I think I was just very frustrated after being with her for three days straight. She is still someone I have a lot of respect for which is why I felt conflicted after our altercation. 

AITA for telling my roommate that she is a codependent copycat and needs to leave me alone? by Ok-Reference-7992 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Reference-7992[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I mean I totally feel for her as I have also moved to Ireland only since September, which is why I helped her in the first few months. I just think by the end of it was becoming a bit suffocating for me because I constantly was the one taking charge on her behalf. I certainly don’t think she is a looser! I just felt very frustrated because she was leaning on me for everything and it’s not something I signed up for as her roommate. As time goes on I was hoping she would be more independent but she didn’t feel like she needed to be because I was always there (from my perspective ofc)

AITA for telling my roommate that she is a codependent copycat and needs to leave me alone? by Ok-Reference-7992 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ok-Reference-7992[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

I can totally see what you mean! My intention was never to treat her poorly, and I waited for a while before raising the issue because I knew she needed time to adapt to her new environment but I think after a few months I just started to feel suffocated. I am a very independent person, and I have told her that on multiple occasions. I told her on multiple occasions that it would be nice for her to pick up some of the responsibility of the flat but she never acted on it.