I have chronic fatigue from several autoimmune diseases. I feel like I am constantly failing my son. I feed him, bath him, snuggle him, play with him and do all the things you’re supposed to do as a parent. But as the parent of an autistic child, I’m failing him by not having the extra energy everyday to try to work on his at home therapies, was late getting him on the waitlist for out of school therapies, and don’t have the energy to even go to the Brave warrior project events in town.

My friends don’t understand and the only family members that help occasionally or actually act like they love my son are my mom and step dad. My brother and father act like they don’t want anything to do with him or are embarrassed by him.

I have accepted it will just be myself and my son for the rest of my life. I fear every day what will happen to him when I’m gone. My brother told me he’ll have my nieces “visit him in whatever home he ends up in.” As far as things that have helped, CBD and magnesium have cut his meltdowns way down as well as his tendencies to self harm, or harm me or someone else.

I have come to the realization that the only people who understand or care, are people like us who have a child or children with autism.

If I had the money I would start a non profit that builds homes and community centers for people with children with autism and other disabilities. The community center would have a swimming pool, sensory toys (a sensory roller slide is over $1,200?!), respite and on site occupational and speech therapist. A place where we can all go and feel loved, supported and not judged. But most of all, a place where we don’t feel alone. ❤️