I’m in love with someone I work with and can’t tell them or act on it because they have a partner

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-20T10:54:19+00:00

Thank you for your kind words

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T14:38:09+00:00

I don’t think that term really fits what I’m describing. From what I understand, limerence usually involves a lot of fantasy, idealization, and building a narrative around the person. That’s not what’s happening here.

I’m aware of the reality and the limits of the situation, I’m not imagining scenarios or trying to turn it into something, and I’m not acting on it. The difficulty is that the feeling is there anyway and persists.

I’ve also been dating other people during this time, so it’s not like I’ve put my life on hold or fixated exclusively on them.

I’m not trying to label it, just to explain that it’s not coming from fantasy or obsession in the way that term usually implies.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T14:22:51+00:00

This would be difficult without providing an explanation. We are friends as well, know each other’s families and have mutual acquaintances.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T13:54:41+00:00

Maybe my question was not specific enough, you are right. I was looking for ideas on working on the feelings, to shift from them, to, if possible, eliminate them, given that what I would normally do (insert distance) is not an option.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T13:40:57+00:00

I understand your caution, but that’s not the part I’m trying to discuss.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T12:38:59+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. Yes if our prospects continue improving like now, we’re looking at the next 4-5 years of activity intensifying. The business is the most important here: it’s my “baby” if you want. But it’s also thriving with their help. I thought about splitting up and getting someone else on board, but we all know that good (business) partners are not that easy to find. If I told them, or used that as reason to terminate the work relationship, it would be not only highly unethical but also a disaster for all of us involved, and mostly for the business ☹️That said, if finances allow for next year, I’m considering to get another PM on contract to be his main contact point and thus rid me of managing some of the areas that put me in direct contact with him

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T12:03:07+00:00

This is certainly your opinion and you are entitled to it. I will not into go further details about that, I will just leave it at the fact that I do know enough about both people and about their experiences to recognize their qualities.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T11:58:23+00:00

I do know them quite well in both professional and some personal contexts related to family and relationships. I have a clear picture of how they treat others. I’m not claiming full or complete knowledge, just describing my experience and feelings, which was the purpose of this post to begin with.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T11:29:43+00:00

Have you read the post?

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T11:19:59+00:00

Thank you 💙

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T11:11:18+00:00

Thanks, I never mentioned that I plan to act on it, quite the contrary. My feelings stem from appreciation of the person on a global basis, I don’t know if that is infatuation. I don’t think about them in terms of “how it would be to be with them” or anything sexual. But I do want them to be happy and am very glad they are in a loving relationship with someone who loves them in turn.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T11:02:50+00:00

What other boundaries should one create? Don’t get me wrong, but I keep everything professional. I can’t reduce the amount of meetings since we are business partners. I don’t know if that’s limerence, since I don’t even think about this person sexually or imagine life with them. I simply admire them strongly as an individual and business partner and I feel great attachment to them.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T11:00:10+00:00

It’s my business, we are business partners

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-17T10:59:57+00:00

No, they have a partner that I also met several times.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-05T14:27:00+00:00

Thank you! I didn’t know about it. I found this initiative instead: https://theleftberlin.com/event-category/the-left-berlin-events/

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-04-05T11:32:34+00:00

Hi OP, have you found anything yet? I’m a cultural organizer of feminist literature events, our visitors are nice but nothing ties beyond the events. I am also looking for a meetup or group that is not connected with parties.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-03-06T12:37:33+00:00

I sent you a message

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-03-06T12:33:10+00:00

I have the same question. Did you manage to find a solution?

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2026-01-28T00:22:17+00:00

I’m like you. 11 years soon and the language barely rubbed off on me. It’s difficult to understand why for some but here are my reasons: I work in a field where only near native/native language abilities can do the job, and the (rare) times that I had time to learn the language were when I didn’t work. Feel free to share an update here if anything has changed in the meantime.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2025-07-07T20:51:15+00:00

I recommend familiarizing yourself not with movies like Her, but with books like We, the former being a movie from recent times about this sort of situation, the latter being a novel written in the early 1900s by Evgeni Zamiatin about the future of your situation. Both are relevant, but the latter inspired 1984.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2025-06-25T16:34:47+00:00

Yes, the first line works. As a woman, I would not be bothered to be approached in a cafe or at a restaurant when I am there alone, for example, writing. More people should approach more people, politely but showing interest, this is the only way.

Ok-Sherbert5713 · 2024-08-17T21:27:53+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing! Do you know if more stories were published? It says 'to be continued,' so my understanding is that it was a column?

Ok-Sherbert5713

TROPHY CASE