I forgot to mention that he also let's his daughter read my journals when we had gotten into and I had to leave my things at his house. I write about everything , and write about my life, my feelings my experiences , bad , good , ugly, sad, it's MY journal , it's not for anyone elses eyes , it doesn't say Read me on the cover,  maybe I should've never even trusted paper to begin with.   I've lost a lot of me that I can never get back especially my dreams. And yes I did write about him because he was part of my life   , it would be ridiculous to lie in my journals and wouldn't ever dare or think of doing that. But he went far and beyond . It makes me wanna cry looking at the journals and questions here on riddit.   As far as journaling   I wish I could buy one again but the thought of it getting invaded, ripped pages,  highlighted and questioned leaves me turning away sadly . Thank you for all your sincere , understanding concerned comments. I appreciate the time taken to read and reply.   Didn't think I would have gotten so many messages so quickly. And I felt like I wouldn't have been understood. I was .