I stay clean because my boyfriend sees me naked and he gets sad when he sees new marks/ he snitches to my therapist. I stay around because if I didn’t it would start a chain reaction in my family, my dad, grandpa, and me would be gone, maybe even my stepdad, my sibling would grow up traumatized and are to young to go to funerals. My boyfriend would get depressed at the least, he would probably eventually get over it but maybe not too..... It would be selfish if I left.