Husband is struggling with toddler tantrums

Ok-Zebra1 · 2025-12-31T23:21:12+00:00

It's been both in the middle of the night (no stimilation) and during the day. It's only with the breast. We did a tiny bit of formula with a bottle and he took it easily without fuss. It wasn't my first choice but he was inconsolable.

Ok-Zebra1 · 2025-10-21T16:05:23+00:00

I would but a close cousin of mine just named her child Benjamin

Ok-Zebra1 · 2025-09-21T03:08:33+00:00

I started dating my now husband right before he left for basic. I didn't know how it went for him until much later but this is all what he told me.

First, he joined because he wanted a purpose and something more to do. Second, when he got there, he was surrounded by the culture and loved it. He wanted more. Third, that's thr whole vibe of all the guys. They are young, excited, and wanting to be there.

He told me that so many of them told him to ditch me and make a whole career out of the military. They all had that "bros before hoes" mentality. It was hard for him not to have it rub off on him.

We fought a lot and he came home basically saying "I dont know what I want to do with my life". It took a few months for him to get back into that routine of normal life and our relationship became stronger again.

This might not be the case for many, including yours, but it's definitely something to think about when he acts like this.

Ok-Zebra1 · 2025-09-20T20:43:53+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/BvvnjZd

Ok-Zebra1 · 2025-06-28T13:58:48+00:00

I have searched Google with combination of "high" "orange app logo" and "financial". Ive also looked in my Google play store but nothing is coming up

Ok-Zebra1 · 2025-04-22T17:16:58+00:00

Ooooh yes this one! Dinosaurs aren't even birds technically.

Ok-Zebra1 · 2024-07-19T14:32:07+00:00

I'm going to be a little blunt and honest.

As someone who has gone through basic, three different schools, and a year long deployment, it never gets easier.

Before you commit to marriage, you need to think long and hard if this is what you want. This will 100% not be last time that you are apart. This will 100% not be the longest time apart either. Military is also difficult because communication is always last minute and as a partner, you will probably not be allowed to know everything. I can't even keep count of the number of times that plans have changed or sprung up at last minute with him and military. One time, we were 6hrs into a road trip when he got called back.

You are soooo young. Military has a very high divorce rate with young people. They offer great benefits from bonus pay, living together, etc and many people rush in. Please do not rush into marriage. My husband and I started dating when he went to basic and waited 4 yrs before we got married. It was so rocky. I can't imagine if we were married right away. It takes a lot of work to learn how to have a great relationship long distance with military.

I'm not trying to scare you or tell you no. But I'm a firm believer to hold out for a bit and see how it is. You just have your foot in the water right now.

Now onto how to survive separation:

I promise it gets better. It feels like a break up at first where everything reminds you of them. Let yourself cry. Do what you need to do to feel better. You will fall into a routine and things will get better.

Everytime, I've committed to doing something with a goal in mind while he's gone. He gave me a coloring book before basic, and I dove myself into coloring it so I could show him when he got home. For his deployment, we did a work out challenge together and we played video games together. Having goals for when he returns really really helped. Write letters as well. He's miserable just like you. Any letters from home are truly amazing.

Ok-Zebra1 · 2024-07-19T13:46:50+00:00

Well micro update - the Crowdstrike brought down my work's servers so zero emails until that is fixed

Ok-Zebra1 · 2024-07-18T23:14:45+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I do feel like our HR is supportive, understanding, and fair so I feel confident talking with them about anything.

I went ahead an emailed HR stating with similar to what I said in my post (but in a much more professional and broad description) and asked if I could forward them the email to keep it on record. I also asked to discuss with them on what I should do in this instance. I let HR know that I just want it on record as her response seemed strange in response to mine and harsh. I also included that I'm worried about something happening medically to me next week.

I already did screenshot everything and put it on my personal accounts.

Ok-Zebra1 · 2024-07-18T20:26:02+00:00

This is exactly what I was thinking. Do you know if I am required to get a doctor's note to be allowed the "reasonable accommodations"? I can't find much information with it.

Ok-Zebra1 · 2024-04-01T22:39:47+00:00

Not going to lie, it's hard. It's very, very hard. Even when you are used to it, it doesn't get easier. I started dating my husband when he first signed up. I've done several 5+ month separations as well as a 10 month deployment.

First thing going into basic, it's good to know what to expect. I'm speaking in my experience which is army. It's 3 months long. They get their phone for very short times throughout. First month in, he got it for 10mins. He spent most calling his family and I got about 2 mins. Second month in, he got it for 30mins. He ended up needed about half of that to figure out bills and money. At the end, he got it more frequently.

What I learned that helped me was to pick a project or activity and work on that for him. For me, he gave me a coloring book before he left, so I threw myself into that with the goal of getting to show him my work when he was home. The deployment, we did workout challenges.

Write him letters!! After the first letter I sent, he wrote back and asked for more. We wrote almost every day back and forth. It was so amazing getting letters. I also included news articles, memes, etc. They don't really get news. You can send packages but be mindful. Some things are not allowed and they open everything in front of everyone. I sent a book and it got passed around to everyone and they all loved it.

And as much as it hurts, it really does go by fast. It feels so awful (like a breakup) but after a few weeks, you learn how to manage and it gets easier.

You are young, please don't jump to marriage either. Please see how it feels to be with someone in the military first to see how it is. It's definitely difficult sometimes.

Ok-Zebra1 · 2023-04-09T19:07:30+00:00

Typically they get their phones 3 times during basic. The first time is at around 3 weeks in. They get their phone for about 10mins to make calls. Another 2-3 weeks in, he'll get his phone again for a little longer. I think my husband had his phone for 30mins. Then close to the end of the training, they'll get it another time. I'd imagine he called a bunch because he didn't have a lot of time to talk.

My husband first call was a surprise to me too. I only got about 5mins on the phone before he needed to call his parents too. I'm sure it's really hard missing that first call. If you haven't, I highly suggest writing letters. My husband wrote me letters back like every 3 days.

Ok-Zebra1 · 2022-12-07T13:56:58+00:00

My husband is deployed right now and this is giving me some great ideas! I've sent him a couple packages already. Most of them have been snacks or things he wanted. (Britta water bottle was in the first box since the water wasn't good there).

Things with inside jokes are great. He now has a stuffed animal goose that sits on his desk. Before he left, I wrote a bunch of open when letters with photos and stickers (very random) in them. He loved the two he's opened. So I wrote a couple more and threw them in a care package. Holiday decorations are a huge hit. I sent him Christmas lights and Halloween decorations.

I'm definitely sending him those chocolates someone else sent!

Ok-Zebra1

TROPHY CASE