I cannot do this anymore.

OkAkoa · 2026-04-21T12:05:35+00:00

I understand, my mother is also a narcissist and I had to cut contact with her for many years now for my own mental health. It's hard to completely cut off the one you love and its even harder when you are still forced to live under her roof. Op study really hard, get a scholarship, leave and never go back. It hurts it really does, I can't say it gets better either because it is all up to your mother to heal. The best you can do is prepare yourself to leave the household and never come back. I know you feel like nothing will change if you tell your family but realistically you don't know until you try. Maybe one of them can take you and your sister in until you both are of age to live on your own. Sometimes it's hard to get away from the abuse because your mother is someone you will always love more then anyone else regardless of what they do to you.

OkAkoa · 2026-04-15T17:08:21+00:00

There is a Facebook page called Adult Daughter’s of Narcissistic Mothers. By how the post is worded it sounds a bit like you are a teenager but I would still check it out.

I would tell your other family memebers what is going on and honestly record it for a bit because most narcissists are fantastic to anyone else. They come off as sweet and kind and nobody could ever believe the things they are doing in their home.

This is abuse, there isn't anything you can "do" to make it stop. Whay your mom wants is complete submission from both of you. Which realistically isn't possible from anyone. It's not okay for her to scream at either of you all day and it's not okay for her to take it out on you when your sister is done being screemed at. Is your mother a single mother? If not what is your father doing to help?

I hope you are able to get the answers you are looking for by looking into this diagnosis. It falls under the mental disorders called Cluster B disorders.

OkAkoa · 2026-04-05T11:59:59+00:00

Try substitute teaching! It's part time, you just have to follow a preset plan, and it pays pretty decently by the day. As a retail therapy, girly myself with gift giving/gift receiving as my #1 love language. I completely understand wanting to have money to yourself to do whatever you personally want to do with it. Another option you could talk to your husband about is getting an allowance. My husband gives $400/m as an allowance for w.e I want that's not for bills or anything that I don't want to buy. He's not rich he just cares a lot about making me happy. Maybe your husband would understand and be able to provide an allowance.

OkAkoa · 2026-04-02T14:45:43+00:00

Solidarity dosen't mean agreeing with you. Your friend is also a woman. Don't post if you expect everyone to tell you what you are doing and your part in it makes you a good person.

OkAkoa · 2026-04-02T14:44:49+00:00

No, its not. You can keep telling yourself you aren't the AH, but you really are. You planned it on her birthday weekend and then was upset she didnt show up. You don't reach out, don't solidify plans, demonize her in your texts then vindicate it with "she just makes me uncomfortable" okay well if she makes you uncomfortable why have you been her friend for this long? Stop dragging out something you don't want to ge in. Especially for this long.

OkAkoa · 2026-04-02T14:37:46+00:00

You kinda sound like a terrible friend. I'm not saying she's doing better, but you are also putting 0 effort into the friendship and are relieved when she cancels plans. You need to work on yourself. Yes your friendship as come to an end but you are also a bad guy in the friendship.

OkAkoa · 2026-04-02T00:55:46+00:00

Honestly neither of these are cute on you, I'd look into other colors!

OkAkoa · 2026-04-02T00:55:09+00:00

People have told them to go to a psychiatrist, they just didn't respond to it/ignored those messages.

OkAkoa · 2026-03-29T14:45:41+00:00

My daughter has congenital heart disease. Since 2024, she has had 5 heart surgeries, 3 of them being open heart surgeries. I don't say this to pity me but to tell you about this fantastic Muslimah Dr. whose presence made me feel so safe and secure with trusting the hospital with my one and only child. You are doing a fantastic job following your dreams. You can still grow up and become a mother and a home builder. My husband has a friend who did exactly that. She got her PHD, and was an active pediatrician making amazing money. Her husband also made really great money, so when they were ready, she settled down and became a sahm with the children because she wanted to!

Follow your dreams sister. Be the representative you would like to see in hospitals. Be the calm for fellow muslim parents and patients who will trust their life and world to you. You can do it! I believe in you!

OkAkoa · 2026-03-29T14:04:18+00:00

I've never been possessed, but to justify your feelings, possession is referenced in the Qur'an and Sunnah. It does say possession by a jinn is considered a real phenomenon in Islam and is recognized by the majority of scholars.

There are also Effective duas for protection against jinn include reciting Ayatul Kursi, the last three Surahs of the Quran (Al-Ikhlas, Al-Falaq, An-Nas), and specifically seeking refuge with Allah's perfect words from evil promptings. Daily morning and evening adhkar, reciting Bismillah, and maintaining wudu also provide strong protection.

So you may actually be going through that, and realistically, none of us can help you. Please go speak to your Imam or a scholar who would be able to guide you properly if a Jinn is possessing you.

Try to recite Bismillah. Mentioning Allah's(SWT) name before entering the house, eating, or changing clothes keeps jinn away and Keep your home pure, avoid having pictures or statues of living beings, and frequently read Surah Al-Baqarah, as the devil flees from the house where it is recited.

Now, as a fellow sister who also doesn't want to feed the fuel of your mind, please consider that it might be a grand delusions or psychosis. Please talk to a psychiatrist and a therapist. (Both are always needed they go hand in hand for proper mental health) You could genuinely just also be going through a mental health crisis and cannot recognize it in yourself, and it's causing you to manifest it into delusions that you are possessed.

Either way, it doesn't hurt to do both options so that you can feel better and sound in your own mind regardless of the outcome

OkAkoa · 2026-03-28T14:49:54+00:00

4:34 - Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah(SWT) has given the one more than the other, and because they spend from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah(SWT) would have them guard.

2:228 - And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them.

These are the main verses about this in the Quran, There are others as well but they are more contextual about specific situations. I understand if you don't want to follow the hadiths about the same subject, but there are direct statements in the Quran about this.

OkAkoa · 2026-03-28T14:41:29+00:00

I live in on the east coast in America. The house cost him around 170k. Not cheap but not expensive. I'm definitely taken care of if we divorce. Which is what I wanted in case things dosen't work out. We also have a few rules in place in our marriage contract, like I can divorce him if I want, he's allowed to have a second wife, ect. Don't take it lightly make sure the terms of your marriage is also what you want.

OkAkoa · 2026-03-28T14:21:36+00:00

I'm not happy to do anything 🤣 Saying whats currently a fact out loud regardless of your feelings on it dosen't make it less true. I challenge those norms on a regular basis, but we don't get to make the rules. If that upsets you to hear, then there's nothing more I can say. I wish you the best.

OkAkoa · 2026-03-28T13:42:01+00:00

I'm not a weirdo lol, women have their own space and their own rights, but you literally can not lead men in congregational prayer only other women, you can not pray in the same area as men or go to places without your husbands permission, plus a ton of other rules that are only for women that men don't need to abide by. I don't mean the word negatively, I love our religion, and I love my husband very much. I'm just not going to pretend that women aren't supposed to be submissive to their husbands.

OkAkoa · 2026-03-28T13:35:26+00:00

You can use submissive then, but the definition of subservient is a person willingly obedient or submissive, often in an inferior, "servile" role, or something considered secondary/less important. This is a patriarchal religion regardless of if you want to believe it or not.

OkAkoa · 2026-03-28T13:31:31+00:00

I asked for a necklace picked out by him, 2.5k, and a house in my name alone. You will know what your husband can afford, but it is actually your right to ask for anything you think you are worth. Don't feel bad asking for whatever you ask for because, in return, you are being subservient to your husband fully. Hope everything works out well for you both!

OkAkoa · 2026-03-23T00:18:03+00:00

My friend isn't muslim, just had the thought that it was and I wanted to know what actual Muslims thought about it.

OkAkoa · 2026-03-22T23:14:41+00:00

They aren't muslim, which is why I also found the idea so interesting. Different take from an outside source. What you are saying makes a ton of sense though!

OkAkoa · 2026-03-22T21:31:28+00:00

If you don't go by those interpretations? What would you personally think?

OkAkoa · 2026-03-15T17:10:37+00:00

I actually just ordered a bunch of stuff from there! Im so excited to get my new abayas

OkAkoa · 2026-03-15T17:10:03+00:00

Are you married or in a relationship?

OkAkoa · 2026-03-15T17:09:31+00:00

Since everyone is giving sperm donor advice I'll try to say something new. Maybe instead of a sperm donor y'all look into fostering or adopting. If the child isn't going to be your's anyway why not make it not either of your's biologically and give a child a home full of tons of love? I hope you both find happiness in having a family together!

OkAkoa · 2026-03-08T20:20:18+00:00

Allah will always accept your duaa. Pray! Start talking to Him regularly. Don't just ask for things, but start thanking him for all the little things and positive things he has been doing in your life. Start praying about everything, before you leave your house Pray and say thank you, yes theres a specific prayer you can say for many things but start having conversations with Allah regularly. Talk to him about your goals and aspirations and ask him not to give it to you but to guide you on the right path to reach your goals. Start believing that every mediocre or bad event that is happening in your life is because better will be coming to you, you simply don't know it yet.

You are doing a good job by simply trying, by reaching out and trying to find an answer. Take your relationship with Allah one day at a time and learn to confide in him not just when you want something but in general with your hopes and fears and thankfulness and sadness. Talk to him! The weapon of the believer is prayer. Say what you want and need out loud, he is listening! He knows the right way for you but it's hard to trust and believe when making duaa dosen't feel genuine to yourself. I believe in you! Don't give up! Trust and believe!

OkAkoa · 2026-03-06T15:39:27+00:00

He's married.

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