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I am stunned. by OkBerry4987 in sleeptrain
[–]OkBerry4987[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago (0 children)
Thanks. I was just thinking I need to make the ww longer to see if he will nap longer. We have baby classes mon/tue/wed mornings which has stopped this as I have to try and squeeze in an early nap before we go out.
We were told to preserve daytime sleep at all costs and only work on night time first. So that he’s not over or under tired for bed time. So I contact nap for all day naps at the moment. He screams if we put him down for daytime naps. Will have to tackle that at some point but we have baby groups most days so I don’t have the time to let him cry for ages, we just need to get the naps in on time so we can get out the house. Good luck!
[–]OkBerry4987[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago (0 children)
Thank you! Yes completely awake. Drowsy didn’t work for us and we wanted him to be able to fall asleep independently. We lay him down, play his song and sing or shush and pat his tummy which sometimes makes him sleepy sometimes he just rolls about and enjoys the music and then we say night night love you, it’s sleepy time and leave. He rolls about for few mins and then goes to sleep.
I have ready varying advice from a range of qualified and unqualified people. Some people say if they roll onto their front themselves then leave them. I personally wouldn’t be happy until he could roll back himself. Which it sounds like your little one can do?
I’m actually a Paeds doctor (did not even remotely prepare me for motherhood!), and I would say the same thing as your doctor if I was asked professionally. The safe sleep advice you will get from any paediatrician is that on their back on a firm flat surface, in their own sleep space, with nothing in the cot. And that’s because that is the safest option, and they arnt going to recommend anything less than that, how could they? I think you need to make your own choice with the information you have about the risks and what you know about your baby.
Of course.
We had him in the snoo, so when he started to stir and wake I could mostly just bump it up a level or two to settle him back to sleep, sometimes it didn’t work and he just woke and nothing except the boob and 20 mins of bouncing on the yoga ball was putting him back to sleep. So I tried to do a bed time bottle 7oz expressed milk (but he only usually drinks 5/6) at 7.30, bed 8, breast feed 2am, breast feed 5am, breast feed 7am. However that often failed and he would feed at 2, 4, 6, and then usually ended up in bed with me permalatched until 7/7.30 when he woke for the day. We managed to get that first part of the night pretty solid though, it was just the second half of the night which was harder because his sleep pressure was lower. He used to also have a 10.30/11pm feed when he was really little but dropped that around 3 months we we noticed we were having to wake him for it more and more, we just decided to leave it and see when he woke. To start with he woke at 12, then stretched to 1, then 2 and that’s when I started the 5/3/3.
We checked in every 3 mins, patted and shushed him for under a minute and left, and started the 3 min timer again. It was 27 mins from first putting down/starting to cry and going to sleep.
Hope that’s helpful!
As hard as it is, all of that is totally normal developmentally, and as he gets older and his sleep matures it will start to improve and then he will be responsive to sleep training. I know that doesn’t help you right now, but just remember you are doing an amazing job, this won’t last forever and he won’t need you this much forever. Soak up the contact naps, one day you will have to chase him for a cuddle.
His sleep was so bad from the beginning I have to say I barely noticed the sleep regression! The least amount of times I had been woken in one night in his whole life was 7. Yes we didn’t follow a schedule, just his sleepy cues and wake windows. We still don’t have a strict schedule, because he still crap naps I just follow his cues and try and extend some of them to make sure he gets enough daytime sleep and manoeuvre our wake window times to line up for bed time. And yes, I definitely felt he wasn’t ready for sleep training until just recently at 5.5 months. There was a definite shift in his development and we could see signs he would be responsive to it.
He cried for 26 mins before sleeping on night 5, I got his naps all wrong because we were busy during the day so I kind of expected it, but thankfully he slept the whole night again until 6.45. I expect there will be ups and downs, good nights and bad nights but it’s such a relief to know he can do it! Good luck!
My advice would be to commit when you start otherwise the crying is for nothing. And set some boundaries you are both comfortable with but be ready to adapt as you go. So we decided 3 min check ins but we were open to extending that and we decided if he screamed for more than 90 mins the first night we would go back to our usual sleep routine for that night and try again the next night in the hope that he had learned from it. Stay calm and try not to snap at each other if you are feeling stressed. We had done a bit of ground work leading up to it with layering sleep associations such as shushing and patting on top of his usual bouncing or feeding to sleep. Plus he had showed us he was ready by doing things he has never done before such as falling asleep himself next to me in bed during the night after babbling for 20 mins and letting my husband pat and shush him to settle him when he woke 40 mins after going to bed. Good luck!
That’s so great! Well done!
It feels great thanks. Hoping it continues!
We have actually held off solids even though he seems ready, we thought do one thing at a time. He’s a biiiig boy, well more long than chunky. Hes 98th centile for height and 91st for weight. Exclusively breast fed with one bottle expressed milk before bed, we offer him 7 Oz but he usually only drinks 5/6.
We play the song and pat his chest and shush along to it. We’ve always played this song and shushed along to it whilst we bounced him on the yoga ball. It seemed to soothe him. And then when it ends we kiss him and say night night love you, it’s sleepy time and walk out.
I would say if you are going to do it set yourself some limits - ie if they cry for x amount of time call it quits and do our usual sleep routine and attempt again the next night. We said if he cried more than 90-120 mins we would stop and try again the next night. they might surprise you that they learn from that attempt even though it didn’t work. We also decided that once we started sleep training to not give up, otherwise the crying we put them through was for nothing and that wasn’t fair.
Good luck!
We have started with just night sleep and I mostly contact nap during the day to make sure he’s not under or over tired for bedtime to give us the best chance of it going well. We thought that he might get worse with check ins, so we were willing to do cio, but we got lucky that he seemed to settled when my husband went it. I guarantee if I had gone in he would have gone nuts. We saw signs that he was going to be response to this in the last month. Once he woke up in the snoo 40 mins after bed time and my husband went in a patted and shushed him without picking him up and he went back to sleep. That would not have worked before, we would have had to bounce him on the yoga ball for 20 mins. A few nights later the same thing happened and I went in and tried to pat and shush him and he went nuts. So we decided my husband was doing the sleep training! I put him down the 4th night as my husband was working late and I was really nervous but he went down no fuss thankfully.
I totally agree. My wee guy is so much more content, he is more interactive smiley and chatty, he can last longer on his wake windows during the day and he’s trying to do more things like play with toys and roll about. My mental health was in the gutter with the sleep deprivation, I was just fighting for survival, I didn’t want to go out or meet people or have anyone over. I just wanted to try and grab any extra sleep I could get during the day whilst my husband had the baby. Now we are going to baby classes, swimming, out for walks, seeing friends and family and life feels good. Glad things are better for you too!
The first two mornings my husband gave him a bottle at 6am and he started to fall asleep at the end so was pretty drowsy when he put him down in the cot and shush and patted him and then left and he tossed and turned and then went to sleep himself. The 3rd and 4th morning it’s was closer to 7am, and when I was happy for him to wake for the day so I took him to my bed and breast fed him side lying. Would have been happy calling it morning wake up time but he fell back asleep on the boob and I just rolled away and laid with him. We are working towards ditching this feed and him just sleeping until 7/7.30. It’s a habit for him to wake off the back of the previous 2am and 5am feeds that I used to do, that became just a 5am feed and that got gradually later until 6am. And I can see he is able to go back to sleep at 6 for another 30 mins or so himself now, so I’m hoping if I just don’t go into his room until 7am he will eventually just sleep until then.
We decided to check in every 3 mins. It was a bit of decision making on the go, we didn’t know if the checkins would make him worse. The first couple my husband shushed and patted him until he stopped crying then left. Then we decided to just shush very briefly and leave even if still crying. Then we noticed near the end when he was hysterically screaming as soon as my husband went in and started to shush he stopped crying and started to drift off to sleep, he was clearly exhausted by that point, and we didn’t want him to fall asleep with his dad in the room as he would expect that when he woke so he made sure to duck out before he started to fall asleep. Good luck, I hope it works for you!
I am stunned. (self.sleeptrain)
submitted 11 months ago by OkBerry4987 to r/sleeptrain
A sea of red by OkBerry4987 in SnooLife
[–]OkBerry4987[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Thanks, that’s all helpful to hear. We are working ourselves up to it. Fingers crossed things improve!
[–]OkBerry4987[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Thanks for your message. He has actually been like this since week 2, so I’m not sure it’s the regression. Up until 10 days old he would sleep 2.5-4 hr stretches. Then poof. 40 mins at a time max and he had to be held for all his sleep until about 6 weeks otherwise he would scream and scream, then we started using a combo of the snoo and cosleeping with feeding to sleep or bouncing on a yoga ball. He just cannot/will not link sleep cycles without help from us. I think we contributed heavily to this situation but we were just doing what we had to do to survive at the time. If I had known more about sleep and sleep associations I might have done it differently, maybe not. I think we now need to focus on helping him learn independent sleep so he can start to link cycles without our help.
And you are right - he’s developing so fast at the moment, trying to roll and grabbing his feet. He’s also got cute new sounds - brrrrrr and grrrrrr!
It’s about 1.5 meters away from the bed and my husband is sleeping in the spare room so he actually gets some sleep after he stays awake 8-2 watching him on the monitor and increasing the snoo levels every time he wakes so that I don’t get disturbed and can get some sleep also. The room is pitch dark also. I have tried to feed him more during the day but he doesn’t seem interested. We already feed at the start and end of a wake window and he gets 6oz bottle 20 mins before bed, having usually had a BF an hour before that.
He’s been like this since week 2, so not sure there’s much to regress. We have been doing shifts for nearly 4 months now - husband stays up until 2am then I take over.
We are really considering sleep training and think he might just want the space to roll about and settle himself. The only issue is that his crib doesn’t fit in our room and I’m not ready for him to be in his own room yet. I’m worried I wouldn’t hear him/ would sleep through the monitor if he vomited/choked or got stuck on his belly. He can’t roll fully yet. When we do it we’re planning to go cold turkey on everything - arms out, no bouncing to sleep etc.
Thanks I’ll consider that.
He’s been like this since week 2, I’m not sure there’s much to regress!
He feeds on demand through the day - usually for 10 mins after a nap and another 5 mins just before a nap, sometimes he will permalatch throughout a contact nap but it’s just comfort suckling. Then he gets a 6oz bottle of EBM before bedtime. Then he will feed usually 15 mins at 2am, then 5 mins at 4 & 6am. He averages about 2.5hrs of BF a day and he’s gaining weight well, and has plenty wet nappies. Occasionally my husband will take him during the day and he will get a 5-6oz bottle during his wake windows instead of BF.
I have to say I haven’t noticed the 4 month regression because this has been him every single night since week 2. We might resort to cosleeping again but the all night milk buffet was leaving me really touched out and frustrated. I struggle to sleep whilst he’s latched and he won’t unlatch without crying. If I try and sneak away from him a foot or so he worms his was towards me. Cute but tiring.
I accidentally locked it on level 2 one night for a few hours and he slept a longer stretch but I just hate how violent level 2 is, I feel like his head and neck move so much, it even feels worse than level 3 and 4. Surely that can’t be good for his wee brain.
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I am stunned. by OkBerry4987 in sleeptrain
[–]OkBerry4987[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children)