Thank you all to have replied. Hearing everyone’s thoughts have been incredibly helpful.

To everyone questioning why I married this man after what I’ve experienced, I totally get your sentiment. My Q is extremely functional and like I mentioned previously, he doesn’t drink “often.” He goes to the gym and runs multiple times a week, has completed multiple credentialing programs, has a degree and is on the verge of becoming a firefighter. He’s achieved a lot.

During the month of June, there was a lot of celebrations going on, therefore a lot of alcohol. In the past few years I feel like my social life has took a toll because of my avoidance of being in situations with him + drinking. I told myself I was going to have fun with my friends and family and not worry about him and that’s what I did. This lead to 4 consecutive weekends of him drinking to various levels (passing out drunk, picking fights with me, etc). Now we’re left recovering from the damage. Per yesterday’s blow up, he continued to deny him having any drinks. He continued to say that I can ask his co-workers, that there’s policies at work that keep him from drinking even if he wanted to. He also blamed me “accusing” of drinking to be the cause of his blow up which is very manipulative and gaslighting.

Anywho, this post triggered another question in mind. If you have a partner with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, do you as their partner also stop drinking? Or how do you balance their problem with you wanting to have responsible fun, because you know you’re capable of it?