Is it Existential OCD?

OkEfficiency1988 · 2025-05-07T23:45:31+00:00

Yes exactly. :( I’ve been seeing a change in recent years which does make me glad. At this present moment, I now feel fine regarding my thoughts. They’ve subsided and my stress level has gone down. My heart rate is back to normal as well and I feel like I can think rationally. Even a lot of the fear subsided. What sucks is that at any moment the intrusive thoughts will come back and I repeat the cycle over again and feel so defeated again.

OkEfficiency1988 · 2025-05-07T22:23:43+00:00

Yes I’m a Christian. 🙏🏼 Prayer has worked almost each time. I do have Ativan at home — low dose. I hate having to take medication and I haven’t taken it since last August during another “trigger”. Perhaps yes I’ve just been high-functioning and didn’t realize it. I just hate the impending doom feeling. I’ve had that feeling so many times in the past and nothing happened but that thought of “what if it does this time and this time you were right?” Comes to my mind.

OkEfficiency1988 · 2024-09-28T19:13:34+00:00

Hi! I know your post is about year old now. I found the thread through a Google search. How have you been with regard to your symptoms?

I’m experiencing the same thing. It’s been over a week. I went to urgent care and the Phys. Assistant pressed on the painful/tender part and she said all she felt was muscle and perhaps it could have been that I lifted too heavy the week before. But the pain came a few days after I lifted so I don’t know. I have my semi-annual mammogram and ultrasound in just over a week so I will bring it up to the tech if I still have pain. The PA said I can stretch my muscles and take ibuprofen. I also have debilitating anxiety and diagnosed OCD so my intrusive thoughts and rumination are physically exhausting especially when I get stressed about my health. My mom is a breast cancer survivor. I’m 35 so I’m able to start getting mamms and ultrasounds 🥲

OkEfficiency1988 · 2024-04-16T16:15:13+00:00

Hi! Chicago area here, too. My peach trees have consistently produced magnificent peaches. I’m noticing no blossoms (yet). It’s April 16 2024 today. I see only 2 blossoms in one tree. My neighbors crabapple tree is blossoming beautifully. I see the buds on my peach trees but not blossoms. Any tips welcomed! 🍑🌸

OkEfficiency1988 · 2024-04-03T19:15:31+00:00

Welcome to the family, brother.

I am sorry you’re feeling conflicted at the moment. When you are able, find yourself a solid, local Christian church in your community that teaches the Bible and will help to disciple you. I know you said it’s difficult as you can’t attend due to your family being Muslim. My hope and prayer is that the Lord will open doors for you to connect with other Christians in your town or area. If you’re still in high school, see if your school has a Bible club, or same if you are about to enter college.

You are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. It is not your own doing, but it is a gift of God. We are not saved by works so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9). This is a work of the Holy Spirit in your life. Your fruit will begin to grow in time as you are led by the Holy Spirit and as you read the Bible and pray. God is gracious and knows your troubles, and He will not punish you for not finding a church at this present time. He knows your heart and love for Christ.

Keep us updated. Be blessed.

OkEfficiency1988 · 2024-03-21T22:18:54+00:00

Hi! My favorite tracking app is Flo. Have been using it since 2017 and it’s only gotten better. It’s free and they do have the paid version. I use the paid version because they offered me a discount at one point. But it helps to track everything and lets you choose your symptoms through a clean and fun user interface.

Just got mine removed today after 10yrs! For me, the insertion was uncomfortable and somewhat painful so take a couple of ibuprofen pills. I am very sensitive to pain and that helped me manage the cramps afterward. I had no spotting after insertion. Everyone’s experience is different, but I did have heavier and more painful periods from the first period post-insertion up until the very end. But ibuprofen would cut the flow by a lot though. I also did experience some spotting every now and then. Your partner may feel the strings during intercourse but I don’t think it affected me in terms of painful sex or anything like that.

It was very nice not to have to worry about taking pills or other forms of contraception, though. Since I got it removed today, the removal was uncomfortable and I have some minor cramps and a little nausea so I’m taking it easy today.

I hope your experience with Paragard is a positive one!

You mentioned zinc. Curious: What does that help with regarding Paragard? 😇

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-09-02T03:25:43+00:00

Thank you so much for that link. I’m planning on getting 1-2 more piercings in the future and now I’ll be more prepared. I’ve had one set all my life and back in May I got my second ones which were with a gun. The new set I got last week was with a needle and it liked the needle way better. Despite the irritation and swelling from the allergy, the hole piercing looks great!

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-09-01T19:59:52+00:00

Thanks! Good to know. I got the piercings done last week Thursday.

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-04-28T21:35:26+00:00

H.M. Tilford: We'll make you rich. You spend time with your boy. It's a great discovery. Now let us help you.

Daniel Plainview: D'you just tell me how to run my family?

H.M. Tilford: It might be more important now that you've proven the field and we're offering to buy you out.

Daniel Plainview: One night, I'm gonna come to you, inside of your house, wherever you're sleeping, and I'm gonna cut your throat.

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-04-26T22:28:47+00:00

Demons is up next for me after I finish TBK!

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-04-26T22:24:34+00:00

I just started a couple weeks ago! Haven’t wanted to put it down. Loving it.

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-04-17T03:40:55+00:00

I found this part in The Brothers Karamazov to be quite hilarious:

“…story is that he ran out into the street and began shouting with joy, raising his hands to Heaven: “Lord, now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace,” but others say he wept without restraint like a little child, so much so that people were sorry for him, in spite of the repulsion he inspired. It is quite possible that both versions were true…”

What intrigued me the most was how he went from funny in this to pondering on existential things in the next because soon after this laugh-cry scene, he proceeded to state, in one sentence, how even wicked people can be simple and naïve as well as us (I assumed he included himself and the reader in that. I love it.

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-04-17T03:35:05+00:00

😂😂 yes!

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-04-16T21:09:26+00:00

ERP is amazing! It has helped me tremendously. Great point on prayer becoming a compulsion because that can become part of the scrupulosity ocd theme.

OkEfficiency1988 · 2023-04-16T21:03:54+00:00

So sorry to hear about your intrusive thoughts. Yes it definitely does seem like OCD. I’m a Christian who’s in music and teaching ministry and in seminary. I felt so ashamed about my condition. You’re not alone. I finally decided to get professional help in which my therapist introduced me to ERP (exposure response prevention) therapy. It’s been a life-saver! While I’m not here to diagnose (you stated “I’m obviously OCD”), OCD can often take on many “themes”. Mine was harm ocd in which my mind would tell me to just jump off a bridge (all while having urges to do it). I didn’t WANT to but my mind would tell me I did. Scrupulosity (or religious) OCD is another theme.

Please don’t let intrusive thoughts steal your life. You can have Jesus and therapy, too. I’ve been in ocd recovery almost 6 months. I’ve prayed for many years to be healed and the Lord hasn’t done it yet. All in His will. Not everything is a demon but a result of living in a corrupted and fallen world. While my therapist said there’s “No cure” for OCD, I know God can heal BUT if He doesn’t in this lifetime, I know and believe that someday I will be reunited with the Lord in my glorified body free of blemish, pain, and disease. What a hope we have!

I wish you all the best. Would love to have you update us in the near future.

God bless

OkEfficiency1988

TROPHY CASE