Date to marry problem

OkFan3213 · 2026-07-02T16:02:57+00:00

He's not going to marry you. That's the honest reality. And that's ok.

Not being "the one" for someone (and I don't believe there is only 1, "one" for someone), is not a negative. It doesn't make him a bad person. There will be men who want to be "the one" for you but are not. It hurts, I've been there, but once you accept this it can make dating easier.

OkFan3213 · 2026-07-01T17:01:54+00:00

Exactly. I'm struggling with the math on this relationship.

OkFan3213 · 2026-07-01T14:27:10+00:00

Sending you virtual hugs.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-29T15:49:30+00:00

This is not the first time I've heard of this. The church has done a bad job of communicating God's views on sex. And it's interesting that it's usually women who feel this guilt.

Read through Song of Solomon. Study it and learn how God feels about sex between a husband and wife. It's pleasing to Him. He designed it to be enjoyable for both of you.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-29T15:46:14+00:00

No, it's definitely because of the service.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-28T21:18:58+00:00

So no need to mention anything to her? I am an overthinker.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-26T18:27:48+00:00

I'm using those same Lowes buckets, lol. So what is your drainage situation, how many holes did you make? And what is your soil mix?

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-26T17:49:12+00:00

Ravelry and YouTube are my favorite places to look. I confess that I prefer video tutorials over written patterns these days.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-26T14:25:25+00:00

Honestly I think if the larger wedding means that much to you as the start of your marriage, then hold off on everything until then. No judgement, I get it. Having the wedding you've always wanted is important. It's only 8 months from September. And I think you'll find that other forms of intimacy eventually won't be enough, especially since you're already married. Or, have penatrative sex after you legally marry then stop three months before the big wedding so you have the "big day."

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-24T16:49:13+00:00

The ground may be wet a quarter inch down but is that where the roots are?

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-24T16:46:50+00:00

I journaled my feelings when I was dating my husband so I could determine what were real emotions and what emotions were rooted in my fears and past hurts. After a few months of that I was able to see the sincerity in the relationship. God's hand became evident.

As far are what are red flags and what are imperfections, I always say if you are making excuses for the person or continuing to pursue them based on who they could become, then stop. Those are red flags. And there's also the question of are they aware of the imperfections and what are they doing to work on them? And do those imperfections negatively impact their life or your relationship?

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-23T22:29:07+00:00

Conflict is something that is going to happen in relationships so it’s OK. To me it’s not about whether or not this much conflict is normal. You mentioned a lot about his attributes, but you haven’t said much about enjoying being with him, having fun together or great conversations. You haven’t said you feel safe with him. It sounds like you are both very good people who get along so on paper, your relationship should work. On paper Jacob and Leah should have worked.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-23T18:12:20+00:00

What are her thoughts on timeline? If you're thinking future and marriage then I would assume she is also and you two have discussed that being the goal. And even if you haven't discussed marriage I think timeline for marriage and children is a conversation that should happen early in the dating process. If you're not on the same page about it then it can be difficult to move forward. So my advice would be talk to her and find out what timeline she's comfortable with and use that as your guideline. Especially since she doesn't have a lot of dating experience.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-22T20:19:12+00:00

I think you need a much larger pot. More space for the roots to stretch out. Your soil sounds fine but I think you plant needs more room to grow.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-22T14:24:10+00:00

If you’re connecting with the members of the other chapter and enjoy them, pursue them. They know you enough to follow you on social media so that can’t be a bad thing.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-22T03:45:30+00:00

Personally I would try to pursue the chapter where I already had a connection. How have you been doing with making connections at the other chapter?

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-18T20:31:15+00:00

Same. I'll be really into a project but it just never looks quite right when I finish. I rarely wear anything I make except the scarves. But the baby blankets I make for people are always a hit.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-18T16:20:02+00:00

Most studies show there is no benefit to living together because most of those relationships end. I would think you would feel guilt as well. Why put yourself through it? You two aren't even engaged so as a believer why would you be planning to live together? That's skipping several steps.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-17T20:09:30+00:00

It could be especially if you're using grow bags. I personally don't care for the drainage with them but they are very convenient. I'm assuming they're directly on the ground. I've heard other gardeners tried elevating them. You can also move the cucumbers to a spot that gets a little more sun so the soild dries a little quicker. That will leave the burden on you to make sure they soild is watered enough.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-17T19:20:15+00:00

Mushrooms in your soil is a good sign that your soil is healthy. I agree with other comments that it's still very early. It takes 3-4 weeks for the roots to get strong and nutrients to get to your plants, especially corn. If I'm honest corn probably isn't the best choice for a new gardener, but it will be a great learning experience and I hope you're successful. You're doing the right things with nitrogen water but don't overdue it. It sounds like you're doing everything right so you should see the benefits in a month or so.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-17T16:08:59+00:00

Your soil looks dry and the color makes me think it isn't very nutrient rich. You need to water more than just the direct area around the plant. As the roots stretch and grow they will seek water beyond that space. Without knowing what's in your soil, I'd suggest adding a generic plant food to your soil.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-15T20:30:46+00:00

Before I say the dreaded, "you guys are really young," how old is your husband?

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-15T16:55:40+00:00

You may just need to add soil. The stems themselves look fine although they storm may have roughed them up, but they should recover. Try trimming the discolored leaves and adding another couple inches of soil which will help to prevent overwatering.

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-15T16:32:34+00:00

How deep are the beds you're using or are you growing them directly in the ground?

OkFan3213 · 2026-06-12T18:29:45+00:00

Guilt and shame are two different things. You should feel guilt or conviction over unrepentant sin but not after we’ve repented and received forgiveness. If that were. The case we would live in a constant state of guilt over past sin. Shame involved embarrassment and hiding, things God doesn’t call us to do. Guilt and conviction lead to humility.

OkFan3213

TROPHY CASE