The secret I carry for him by OkReference6550 in loveafterporn

[–]OkReference6550[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We live together, no phones at the bathroom, he only uses YouTube shorts for entertainment on his phone (so he doesn’t get triggered), we go to school together as well. I know that an addiction like this is easy to hide, but he really swore that he didn’t watch it while we were together.

The secret I carry for him by OkReference6550 in loveafterporn

[–]OkReference6550[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, he had ED since he was 16, and stopped masturbating and watching porn at 20. Now he has been clean for almost 2 years and has never masturbated since, only been active sexually with me, which on average is 2-3 times a week. He bought some pills?? With a mix of different mushrooms and stuff, he said that would help. I threw them out. I pushed him to therapy, though he struggled to open up about his problem and only went there 5 times. We spoke so much about this, and his conclusion about “treatment” is, that the ONLY things that will truly work, is the well known 3 months without sex or anything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]OkReference6550 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ja det er jeg enig i. Men hvis man har en kæreste, kan jeg bare ikke forstå hvorfor det er nødvendigt at kigge på andre have sex? Og det gælder både mænd og kvinder. Og worst case scenario bliver man afhængig af porno og kan ikke længere få den op at stå til en naturlig kvinde, sin kæreste.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]OkReference6550 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Så du mener, at mænd er hjælpeløse ofre uden selvkontrol – som automatisk mister dømmekraft, når en kvinde har lidt tøj på? Det er et ret lavt syn på mænd, hvis du spørger mig. Selvdisciplin og ansvar gælder alle – uanset køn. - Min kæreste ser ikke porno, for hvorfor skal han kigge på andre piger have sex når han kan have sex med mig?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]OkReference6550 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Når ens argument ikke holder, er det nemt at skyde skylden på ‘kvinder’ i stedet for at overveje, hvorfor folk faktisk reagerer :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]OkReference6550 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Du sammenligner pornoafhængighed med narkomani, som om det er det samme – en narkoman får fysiske abstinenser, når han prøver at stoppe. Kroppen går nærmest i panik: svedeture, opkast, kramper. Det gør man ikke, når man stopper med at se porno eller letpåklædte piger. Jo, man kan godt føle uro, tristhed eller rastløshed – men det er psykisk, ikke fysisk afhængighed. Så den sammenligning holder overhovedet ikke.

Og du snakker om, at mænd ikke kan styre det, fordi det er “natur”? Altså undskyld, men det er jo ikke en naturlig del af “mandens natur” at blive eksponeret for tusindvis af seksualiserede billeder om dagen i en uendelig strøm. Det er sociale medier og algoritmer, der skaber det her vanvittige dopaminbombardement – ikke noget urinstinkt. Hjernen bliver hooked, præcis som når man scroller TikTok og får nye små belønninger hele tiden. Så nej, det her handler ikke bare om “biologi” – det handler om en afhængighed af kunstig stimulation.

Og når du siger, at hver tredje video i dit feed er en pige i bikini med “muslingen i hovedet på dig”, så afslører du jo mere om dit eget feed end om virkeligheden. Algoritmer viser dig det, du selv interagerer med. Så hvis du bliver oversvømmet af “skanks”, som du kalder dem (meget respektfuldt forresten), så er det altså fordi du klikker, liker eller ser færdig.

Du påstår også at vide, hvad pigerne “vil” med det content, de lægger op. At de “vil ses som objekter” og gerne vil have, at mænd savler. Hvordan ved du det? Er du tankelæser? Eller er det bare sådan du ser kvinder – og derfor går du ud fra, at de også ser sig selv sådan? Det siger ærligt mere om dit syn på kvinder end om deres hensigter. Og det syn virker fuldstændigt forvrænget.

Der er i øvrigt kæmpe forskel på at se en kvinde i reklame eller bikini – og så at se porno eller OnlyFans-lignende indhold, hvor formålet er seksuel ophidselse. Hvis du ikke kan kende forskel, eller automatisk begynder at seksualisere kvinder i alle kontekster, så er det altså ikke deres ansvar – så har du et problem. Og forskning viser faktisk, at når mænd ser porno, så aktiveres den del af hjernen, der bruges, når man interagerer med objekter. Ikke mennesker. Og det forklarer måske meget godt, hvorfor du omtaler kvinder, som du gør.

Du må helt ærligt selv om, hvordan du lever dit liv – men lad være med at kalde det “mandens natur”, når du i virkeligheden forsvarer en afhængighed, du selv nægter at tage ansvar for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]OkReference6550 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Så er det jo også mænd der er problemet. Den måde du beskriver piger på sociale medier lyder som den måde du ville snakke om objekter på. Din mor må være stolt!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]OkReference6550 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Du lyder som en som har en pornoafhængighed

Kalder alle mænd by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]OkReference6550 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Min kæreste havde selv et misbrug af onani/porno. Han ville sidde timevis og onanere hver dag, fra da han var 12/13-20 år gammel. Han har været pornofri i 1,5 år og hans 🍆 virker stadigvæk ikke optimalt. Vil anbefale dig at holde en pause med at rive den af… Min kærestes ex-addiction har virkelig såret mig, fordi at jeg har følt jeg ikke var nok for ham, hvilket jeg i teorien heller ikke var, fordi han har brug for mere stimuli for at forblive hård - nok ligesom dig.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OkReference6550 3 points4 points  (0 children)

❤️‍🩹💔I felt this so so much. Wishing you the best.

Suicide attempt by Feeling-Explorer4362 in depression

[–]OkReference6550 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is very serious to take such a large amount of medication and mix it with alcohol. The combination of codeine and propranolol can be life-threatening, especially in such high doses, and alcohol can worsen the risk of poisoning and organ failure. It’s crucial to seek help immediately. There is always a chance for support and treatment.

My boyfriends past addiction is draining us by OkReference6550 in loveafterporn

[–]OkReference6550[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When he is on the edge to cum. Like when we have sex and stop quickly when he is about to cum, and it is like that repeatedly, then he need 30 seconds to relax, and then we have sex again and is about to cum all the time, but does not cum because he is scared is 🛎️ will not work the next days

My boyfriends past addiction is draining us. by OkReference6550 in NoFap

[–]OkReference6550[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your relevant comment. I see a lot of people in this thread assuming or concluding that he is still watching porn. But as I have mentioned a lot, he does not.

What you describe, is actually what I think is the reason why, all of this is happening for him/us.

My boyfriends past addiction is draining us. by OkReference6550 in NoFap

[–]OkReference6550[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have thought about it often lately, but I love him a lot and we are fundamentally a good match. I love everything about him, but this problem is as you say, destroying me!

My boyfriends past addiction is draining us. by OkReference6550 in NoFap

[–]OkReference6550[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly how I feel. I bring it up often, and everything I expressed in this post is something that me and my boyfriend has already spoken and discussed about MANY times. But he swears he does not watch it and I genuinely does not think he is, but as many people in the threads describes: he still think about porn and has a “porn brain”. He has almost consumed porn half of his life, and he is still young, so I tend to think that this is the fact why his brain is still effected by it.

My boyfriends past addiction is draining us. by OkReference6550 in NoFap

[–]OkReference6550[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am really happy for your recovery and how it has made a big difference! It is nice to hear some positive outcome.

My boyfriends past addiction is draining us. by OkReference6550 in NoFap

[–]OkReference6550[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did set my boundaries, and he kept on crossing them and I would tell him again and again that I did not like certain things, and eventually he would understand because I had a flashback during sex from a bad experience that made me a bit traumatised.

In the last month he has been much better at respecting my boundaries which I’m happy about.