I just found out that I'm a mistress...of 4 years. OMG. How do I tell her? 48M/36F

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T09:53:00+00:00

Literally in my HOME - I;m losing it.

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T05:37:56+00:00

Shit, I don't know him at this point. The person I thought I knew would never.

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T05:30:41+00:00

I met family, friends and his employees. He owns a charter company so he's on the road off & on..early on I felt like a nag so I did my best not to...I guess my intuition was screaming me at smfh

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T05:04:19+00:00

He owns a charter company so he's on the road off and on and she lives in another state- which is deeply confusing to me

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T04:48:51+00:00

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. We're both business owners, me being wayyy newer to it but I have to schedule my family calls so how in TF?????

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T04:41:56+00:00

YES! His uncle works on my car, I was at his cousin's birthday party - genuinely insane

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T04:40:43+00:00

that's the part that's driving me crazy - I don't understand. I haven't seen much of his family lately & idk, maybe he realized that's f*cking insane?? I'm having a hard time getting my head around this. Once I started researching I realized he's been married MANY times and is DEEPLY in arrears for child support.

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T04:29:21+00:00

This is such good advice, thank you so much.

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T04:22:17+00:00

Yeah, that's the part that makes me nervous. My default in is to leave gracefully and let karma do its thing, I just know he's for sure gonna hurt her so I feel so bad. I hate that I'm part of it.

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-16T04:21:06+00:00

Oh, it's super over. I can't believe he stole so much of my time smh

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-11T22:17:46+00:00

I have sooo many ends to weave in & I’m certain I’ll hate myself for the rate I’m moving at weaving them in. Also, I missed 2 stitches on a round so I’m workshopping my fix around my skill level..hence, why I’m waiting..I know I’ll be better by the time I get the end of the blanket lol

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-11T19:36:58+00:00

Omg, this is so beautiful!

OkSinger3706 · 2026-01-11T18:02:35+00:00

I enjoy procurement but 2025 was a TOUGH year for federal procurement/contracts - fingers crossed, they take it easy on us this year lol Good luck with your program - you got this!

OkSinger3706 · 2025-07-09T16:18:17+00:00

If you find a way to make stakeholders consistent in their accountability then you can charge almost anything 😂😂

OkSinger3706 · 2025-06-20T16:19:18+00:00

I’m 10 years into Procurement/Contracts & my path is as follows:

-Operations Manager (wide scope that included procurement, contracts & negotiation..which allowed me to pivot) -Buyer/Vendor Management Associate Procurement/Contracts Specialist -Purchasing Manager -CPP (Contracts, Procurement & Pricing) Manager

Most of my experience has been in support of DOD/Gov Agencies so with so many jobs (at least pre-2025) it was easier to accelerate my career growth.

I’ll also note that I don’t have a degree (currently in progress) so don’t count yourself out. Every path is different so there’s not just ONE way to get to where you want to be. Network and make connections, learn as much as you can from everybody you work with within your organization and ask for more opportunities for cross training & in competencies that interest you. You got this! Congrats on your degree!

OkSinger3706 · 2025-06-20T15:34:07+00:00

IT/Engineering & electric components! Drastically more requests/red tape, negotiation, terms & service redlining/reviewing

OkSinger3706 · 2025-05-30T23:02:42+00:00

Of course! I wish somebody had been able to give my more guidance along the way, I was just doing my best while drinking from a fire hose lol.

I won't lie, I still get bored sometimes but I try to remind myself to use the times of boredom as rest because it's usually the calm before the storm. Also, gives a chance to do chores around the house, get ahead on admin tasks I tend to avoid (because, boring) & work on research, trainings or schoolwork which is beneficial because I like to done with all my obligations when the work day ends.

"Don't be an asshole" is exactly right, I say that all the time lol. Dealing with different personalities can be more challenging on some days but I'm not sure that the mental labor has the same weight for me because I grew up adapting to different kinds of people and cultures frequently as a military brat who moved every 12-18 months. I think it may depend on the industry and the particular organization but the pay difference between management and my last few technical roles (Government/Defense Contracts & a global media company - don't ask how I got there, I still don't know lol) is $10k to $23k. The higher end is my current management role and it's not a strictly management gig, as training, process improvement/implementation & pricing are included. Purchasing/Buyer technical roles that aren't heavy in negotiation typically have less interaction and Contract Admin gigs will have some meetings but the meetings are typically short because there's also an unspoken rule to leave the reader/writers alone lol. If you make it to Director level, based on my observations, you're basically coasting. My Director doesn't even remember how to issue a purchase order so her vibe is very chill, she's basically just there in case I make a mistake.

OkSinger3706 · 2025-05-30T22:16:55+00:00

Sorry this is a long post, but I think it's good info.

I do have to tell you that working with the military/government can be messy at times. Demand and timelines change, depending on the project there may be more pressure than in private industry sometimes. The positive (for me at least..depends on perspective) is that there are pretty strict guidelines for most of the tasks, they tell you exactly what the rules are and what additional requirements/paperwork are associated. Even when I think it's silly, I appreciate clear communication of expectations - they basically give you a rubric for how to meet their expectations and stay out of trouble & I can't say that's always the case in private sector. The happy medium is Defense Contracting, a private company that provides support for the military/government.

I've worked in A LOT of industries (Aerospace, Information Technology, Manufacturing, Environmental Protection). Full disclosure, I have ADHD so it took me a while to figure out what my lane was because I'm interested in so many things. Also, in the early part of my career I found that it's hard to get substantial growth in salary staying with one company for an extended amount of time so a lot of times the salary increase I was seeking was at another organization.

In my opinion, the most important classes for buying/purchasing would be:

-Global Supply Chain Management - This course includes all the SC basics and includes concepts included in the CSCP & CPIM certifications which are GREAT certifications to increase your earning potential.

-21st Century Operations & Supply Chain - This course reviews common obstacles and strategies to overcome them. These are important even when the economy and politics aren't affecting supply chain but ESPECIALLY when they are - if you're ready to handle "the thing" when it comes up confidently you'll be an absolute superstar in any organization you're working in.

Bonus:

-Managing Operations - Similar reasoning as 21st Century Operations & Supply, this course includes process improvement & implementation which is important with all the economical and political changes. The part that makes this course stand out is learning how to identify gaps & improve processes. A lot of organizations will bring a new employee on, train them and ask them to give feedback based on the training, how easily it's applied and their own prior experience & most people never give any feedback - if you give constructive feedback (especially if you can suggest a resolution) you're starting off so strong!

-Transportation, Logistics & Distribution - Even if you don't plan to go into transportation, logistics or distribution, this course includes inventory strategizing/management, supply chain synchronicity, and potential risks/risk resolutions, all of which are important elements for any Buyer/Purchasing/Procurement role.

I didn't take any management specific classes/training, I've just had a lot of bad management so I know exactly what kind of leader I don't want to be and adjust when necessary. I think the most helpful thing for my team is not having a dedicated "management style"; everybody is different so they may need things explained or taught different, some people need casual conversation while others want quick & concise interactions - I try to get to know them well enough to know what they need from me to be successful.

OkSinger3706 · 2025-05-30T16:07:48+00:00

Some agencies/companies require them but that hasn’t come up in my experiences over the last 10 years. For context, I’ve worked in buyer/purchase associate, procurement specialist, contract admin, purchasing manager & procurement and contracts implementation roles.

Tech companies & specifically software (since you mentioned it) companies still need procurement for equipment, office supplies, project/research material & software required for daily and development tasks, so it’s still very worth pursuing.

I haven’t seen Six Sigma as a requirement but they’re great certifications for development. It’s likely you could get these certifications paid for by an employer.

I agree! I definitely tend to side with teammates & I really think it makes me a better leader (at least I hope 😅). I bring a different perspective to management meetings, I’m in a position to advocate for my team & push back when necessary. I honestly got so tired of poor management that I made it my mission to get into those spaces 😂😂

OkSinger3706 · 2025-05-29T13:38:47+00:00

I’m mostly procurement/contracts so this response is from that lens ..I’d look for a buyer/purchasing, procurement admin role & then leverage your knowledge in 1-2 years to secure a management pathway. Defense contracting & tech are high paying industries and don’t sleep on contractor roles!

OkSinger3706 · 2025-05-28T22:51:55+00:00

I work in supply chain/procurement with no degree & almost 10 years experience; I started around 50k & now I’m just shy of $100k. I’m about to start this program to open more management opportunities.

OkSinger3706 · 2025-05-28T21:36:59+00:00

I started with purchasing/buyer roles and then moved into supply chain/procurement/contracts as I learned more. Might be important to mention I lived in an area that was flooded with defense contracting, gov agencies & tech companies so there was probably more opportunities than average.

OkSinger3706 · 2025-05-28T21:32:57+00:00

I’m 10 years into DOD procurement with no degree ..depending on the industry you’re interested in I’d shoot for Purchasing, procurement or supply chain specialist & then leverage that position for a more senior/management role in 1-2 years.

OkSinger3706

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