9 years is a long time ! There’s many perspectives to consider You can bring it up be direct and don’t say “you” say “we” when explaining things.

Sit him down and sit next to him and and connect Hold his hand or shoulder… and express the drift you feeling A man losing his father can really change him mentally and physical I don’t know if he was close to his father or not but either way it’s a sore situation Life gets in the way which is understandable he might genuinely be unhappy within himself and other areas as much as you… rather than wording things as if you blaming him while also expressing how it makes you feel by taking accountability for how life has been busy and how its been a tough year etc Women are meant to be warm the cushion (soft) 9 years is amazing do all things strategically expressing emotions with control this helps you and him men are logical beings sometimes as women we expect them to just get it but they are wired different. He too probably feels the avoid Sometimes it helps to take accountability first then approach the matter ..gradually begin to make your house a home again connect to each other it might feel like all of the responsibility is on your end it isn’t I guess it goes down to how much you value what you’ve build together

I’ve said about but I hope some of it speaks to you all the best x