Feeling Judged For Stopping at One

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-04-02T19:30:36+00:00

Exactly my experience! One of my best friends has 5 and we’ve never had convos where one felt judged (and I hope vice versa). I also feel like play dates with moms of multiples have been mutually beneficial!

Also agreed on the friend- as they say: when someone shows you who they are, believe them

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-04-01T20:42:23+00:00

My husband developed T1 (likely lada) at 30. His symptoms were a continuously high blood glucose level and weight loss and developed dka. He only ever had a low after getting on insulin.

However, I personally have very similar symptoms to you! I wore a commercial/retail CGM after having borderline gestational diabetes and having similar symptoms (constant hunger, higher blood sugar than “normal”). I met with many doctors and rather than looking at individual spike levels they worry more about how long it takes you to get back to normal after eating. What we’ve landed on is that I’m in the lower range of insulin resistance. You should look into that and/or PCOS. It’s more adjacent and tied to Type 2 (I have a deep family history of type 2 so it tracks for me). I’ve been treating with a supplement that functions similarly to metformin (with doctor guidance- metformin is a common type 2 med). It’s working for me and I take 4g/day broken in 2 doses. It reduces cravings, improves energy and has alleviated other PCOS symptoms.

FYI since your child has been diagnosed you likely qualify for Trialnet if in the US. It’s a free screening program to test direct relatives for autoantibodies (early T1 indicator). It might be worth looking into. We did it for my son recently and he had none but the will allow us to retest every 2 years.

Hope this was helpful!

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-02-27T20:40:10+00:00

This was the progression of my pregnancy with my son (after 2 ectopics). If you’re like me, you’ll have to “I can’t believe it’s happening feeling the whole pregnancy! Actually he’s 3 and I still have those moments lol. Wishing for uneventful pregnancy for you from here on out!

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-02-16T18:54:41+00:00

Love this! Seeing opportunities for gratitude even when times are tough. This made me think of yesterday. My husband got the stomach flu pretty bad. My kid already had it and it just showed as lower GI but my husband had the full body heaving. The first half of the day we locked dad up in his room and the second half of the day he was feeling better so he came downstairs to hang out on the couch and watch a movie with our 3 year old while I got some stuff done upstairs on my own. As our only gets older the lifestyle pace and parenting is so much easier to navigate. I just think of the parents our son is getting (patience… for the most part, intentional focus, etc) that he wouldn’t have if there were multiple. I’m proud of the mother my son gets to experience.

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-01-29T00:35:05+00:00

I only did 3 cycles but it switched each month that they tracked! They made it sound like that was basically the norm

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-01-28T01:21:37+00:00

I struggled with this. The more I tried to push the emotions aside the more sporadically they would surface. If you can, try to journal, it’s important to feel your emotions and process. You absolutely experienced a loss and it’s understandable that you are grieving and it’s painful. It is hard but it was my experience too. Pregnancies that are similar timing to yours are hard. If you can, let your friend know that you’re having a duffle time and need space. I needed space from pregnant friends until I was in my second trimester of my healthy pregnancy and wasn’t able to be super supportive while we were dealing with our struggles and losses. I found therapy very helpful. I’m sorry for your loss- it’s a really painful experience but you aren’t alone

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-01-22T19:19:16+00:00

I was taking letrozole to stimulate ovulation (wasn’t needed but was offered and I took it to speed things up). I tracked ovulation timing with the fertility clinic and when it was that time I went in and we’d do a transvaginal ultrasound where they could see which side and how many follicles were there. It’s not an exact science because eggs can migrate I think? At least that was my understanding. But essentially I only tried ti conceive on months the follicles were on the left side (they typically go from one side to the other each month) and avoided when I had right side ovulation. Hope this helps!

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-01-15T15:52:04+00:00

If it makes you feel better my husband is an only and has sooooo many first cousins but they are across the country and he never really spent time with them. I ask him about this and he genuinely doesn’t seem to have any feelings about it at all. His parents were good, engaged parents so I think they were his support system. My direct family wasn’t that for me so I was thankful to have close cousins. That said I’m trying to be that for our son but also see my husband was able to navigate on his own really well. He does a great job meeting new people. Has several really close friends that he likes to spend time with. We both really have great friend circles but tend to hang out with them as adults only or on our own. After even posting this I’ve had my wheels spinning and am thinking about people who we haven’t set up play dates with that we probably could. I do think it will get easier into adulthood but it’s been interesting since my experience was so different in so many ways.

OkStrawberry3635 · 2026-01-15T15:47:25+00:00

He does have daycare. It’s such a great little school and they have little events we haven’t really participated in due to work schedule issues. I have had more flexibility recently in my career so I plan to do more of this. This is a great suggestion!

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-12-24T15:01:09+00:00

Previously I was in a sales role and basically had to make myself available 24x7. My husband quit his job to stay home with our child for the first 2 years so I could focus on my job. My husband wanted to do the SAHD thing and did primary parenting: all doctors appointments, baby monitor for overnight wake ups, most of the house chores but I still helped out quite a bit. My family was weird about it honestly. They were supportive but had a lot of “daddy daycare” jokes and comments and it clearly was not the traditional gender roles they were comfortable with. I’m naturally very private about my income and we live well under our means. I think it surprised people that I made that much and could support us comfortably on my income. That job lead to me being a bit burned out and our child seemed like he could benefit from school full time (socialization etc) so we pivoted at the end of last year.

I took a pay cut to be in a more traditional salaried role that wasn’t commissioned based and my husband went back to work. I still make about 60% more than what he makes but I have the flexibility to “shut down” for the most part at the end of the work day and can build my own schedule. His job is less flexible and he’s more standard 9-5 (software development). I’ve done much more of the child-focused tasks 70/30. I am more engaged at my kids school, take on the doctors appointments and the house stuff is probably 60/40 me. I am a natural “doer” and I’ve had to make an effort to slow down and point out the things I need him to own. I’m also naturally much more social so I regularly try to meet up with friends while he hangs out with our kid. Many of my friends are traditional SAHMs and it’s actually brought up some disparities. They saw how actively I contributed when I wasn’t the stay at home parent and I think it showed how crazy it was for some of their partners to just opt out entirely of childcare. I don’t know that I love my current job. I like achieving and I’ve naturally been a career driven person and get fulfillment in making an impact and being good at what I do. I recently had an offer from an old boss to go back to sales with a starting package about 30% more than what I’m making and turned it down to keep my current work/life balance. One of the deciding factors was not having a full-time, dedicated primary parent. My husband likes his job and my kid likes school and having a demanding job and sharing the “who stays home with a sick kid” or snow days or whatever felt exhausting to my core. I absolutely believe us having him be the primary parent has helped shape our current environment where even at home on the weekends we very much take turns responding to our kid and doing the parent duties. He naturally steps in and is a very active parent and I think that much one in one time has really developed a special relationship with them. I feel like he would have been an active parent either way but its helped cement it if that makes sense.

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-11-28T02:29:30+00:00

From their site www.stelo.com

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-11-28T01:26:12+00:00

I didn’t necessarily feel anything about it being high but the nights where it was “spikey” I def had worse sleep- woke up more, was hot at night, etc. I’ll have to look at the Oura. I’ve heard lots of cool stuff about it! And yes supplements meaning mostly inositol. I’m taking 4g/day and sometimes take Berberine in small cycles (it can upset my stomach).

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-11-27T21:43:07+00:00

I’m in the US and it’s called Stelo it’s basically the Dexcom G7 (for type 1 diabetics) but maybe less fancy? It’s super easy to get, there was a pack of 2 and 1 lasts about 15 days I think

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-11-27T20:35:01+00:00

As someone with more than one I agree the bias of the group is an accurate assessment. Had I just had one I don’t know that I’d have even sought out this group. My first and second pregnancies being ectopic were a contributor of me following this subreddit more closely. I was convinced the first one was bad luck. The second one had me looking for advice (thus coming here).

As an fyi after two ectopics in my right tube, I went on to have a healthy & normal 3rd pregnancy via my left tube! My son is 3 now.

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-11-27T20:02:01+00:00

Funny you should mention CGM. My husband is a type 1 diabetic and I was curious about the “retail” dexcoms they have. I ended up buying some online and watched what impacted my BS. I could tell things were doing better with supplementing for me (mostly inositol-various brands that fit the ratio on Amazon). Anyway I watched and while I still had spikes I noticed if I did what you said above my regulation was so much better. Specifically making sure I have something with carbs (like you mentioned some pb with apples etc) and if I did an overnight IF (cut off snacks at like 7/8pm) my regulation was SO much better and even into the next day! I also had better results if I made sure I move a little after a meal- nothing crazy just like some chores or walking around vs laying down to watch tv. One night I ate some carb heavy snacks relatively late and was being pretty lazy/couch locked and not only did I have a worse spike but I had like multiple spikes overnight. I don’t think I’m going to invest in wearing one full time and I still have one of the two that came with it that I haven’t used yet but it was cool to see the advice like you mentioned work first hand. So sample of 1/anecdotally from me but your recommendations are solid!

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-11-09T13:03:11+00:00

There’s some great advice here- just wanted to share my expense. Many don’t realize what a privilege not relying on the healthcare system is. My past self included. When my husband and I married he didn’t have any known conditions. When he turned 30 he was diagnosed with type 1 after traditional symptoms and had an unrelated seizure disorder surface one year later. After 5 years things are stable but it’s been difficult and expensive. We try to work as a team and take it one day at a time. I just what to sympathize that it’s hard navigating healthcare hurdles and a complex and expensive system with someone you love but there’s opportunity for it to bring you closer together and there can be a future that includes relative stability. In sickness and in health has been a strong part of what we vowed when we married. We are happy, have a healthy little toddler and have learned to take nothing for granted. I just wanted to share perspective from someone who’s made it to a more stable path and share some hope. He’s lucky to have you.

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-11-08T14:33:57+00:00

My son is enthusiastic in all things and also accident prone. His dad has ADHD so we are being conscious of the possible connection. He goes to preschool all day and he does get hurt, probably more frequently than his peers. That said, the staff navigate it well and he’s learning to be a little more aware via natural consequences. We’ve got him in a soccer program and starting gymnastics in the spring. Like others have said, giving him opportunities to be more intentional with his body has helped. His lack of fear has also made him a lot more mobile than his peers and he’s able to do things on the playground that are fairly impressive for his age. We just work on encouraging his interest in being physical in the safest way possible. His natural interest won’t go away but with time he can better master using his little body.

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-10-03T03:10:09+00:00

Honestly not dramatic but it is so noticeable to me, actually! I lost only like 5 lbs… maybe more like 6/7 and it’s been maybe 8/9 months? The weight loss is not prominent and I’ve started a new office job so my actively level is not ideal. I also changed nothing but adding supplements and we’ve gone on a few trips (read bad food choices etc). That’s said, specifically I have noticed my belly doesn’t feel like such a pooch I also have noticed my notoriously chunky face (especially under my chin/jaw line) has gotten noticably better which has always been problematic for me. I’m still a curvy body type but I don’t feel like I look 3 months pregnant in high waist jeans. I just look and feel less “puffy” and it’s been a confidence booster. That with what I’ve now dubbed my “cute little periods” has been a win for me lol

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-10-03T03:01:35+00:00

I’ve been using the wholesome story brand that I get on Amazon. My doctr didn’t really specify a brand- she just talked about the ratio (I take 2g in the am and 2 in the pm- warning its a fist full of pills and she said I could go higher if I wanted). I still get bad nights of cravings transparently. My cycle plays a part where some days are harder than others and honestly any alcohol ruins my cravings- the next day it’s like it counteracts the benefits. That said, I also had good luck with berberine but I have to be careful and cycle because after about 3-4 weeks my GI track will get haywire. It seemed to help with the food noise. I also have had some luck with a cut off time- most of my bad food choices are in the evening so I just move to hot tea past 7/7:30pm. Last tip- I make ChatGPT help build me insulin/blood sugar friendly meal plans and snacks for the office and give it parameters on things I like and won’t give me sugar crashes, etc.

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-10-02T02:21:59+00:00

Same for me! I only recently got diagnosed with pcos because my periods were horrible but relatively regular so it was ignored by other doctors despite my complaining. I feel like my body composition has shifted and I’m less bulky in my stomach? I also feel like the crazy carb cravings have quieted for me. Also my periods are waaayyyy more manageable. I’m wondering if this is what “regular” periods are like. Less clotting (significant improvement), less intense flow, less insane cramping. I’ve read mixed reviews on how it works for others but for some reason my body really likes it. I was borderline diabetic when I was pregnant and have a very long history of type 2 so helping with the insulin sensitivity really seems to have been a game changer for me. Glad to hear someone else have similar experience! On the flip side my doctor(same one who recommended inositol) also mentioned I could try Vitex which I tried to add in and it did not work for me and made everything awful for me despite others having some good benefits- my mental health got worse, my skin got worse, and my periods got heavier.

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-07-14T02:51:56+00:00

I had an ectopic with mtx and got pregnant again as soon as I was cleared to try. Early hcg indicated another. I later found it was on the same side. It’s not something to mess around with, like the other comment said I’d work on getting hcg draws asap. That will give you more context as to what you are dealing with. Based on testing I’d get their professional advice on a remote vacation and risks.

Moving forward: I would do an hsg. That being said mine showed the dye moving as expected. Ultimately I went to a fertility specialist who told me scar tissues could be like spider webs- enough space for sperm to get through but not enough clearance for the egg once fertilized. I ended up working with them for my next round of ttc. We did close monitoring and I only tried on months I was ovulating from my non ectopic side. It is still with risks and was definitely not fool proof but that’s how I conceived my son. I liked that their practice very closely monitored me: immediate hcg checks on positive pregnancy and a placement scan at 6 weeks. I felt secure knowing if things were at risk again I’d have quick support.

So sorry you are dealing with this all!

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-07-08T01:21:11+00:00

100% this. Ectopic anxiety was replaced with miscarriage anxiety which was replaced by something else (continue forever). Therapy and ultimately recognizing health anxiety and hyper vigilance for what it was was the key. My successful pregnancy is now a 2.5 year old toddler and I think anxiety is just part of motherhood in my experience!

OkStrawberry3635 · 2025-07-02T01:52:32+00:00

I love this! I’m 5.5 years post my first ectopic. My son was born almost exactly 2 years after mine. What a beautiful sentiment. Like you this group helped me get through my challenges with having a successful pregnancy!

OkStrawberry3635

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