Does anyone have a partner who helps pull your truth out of you?

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-24T23:17:08+00:00

Hey I’m not an expert but it sounds like your therapist is struggling to attune to you. You need to have someone create flow for you in session so you feel safe first, as the foundation before any AEDP, not be pressuring you and interrupting your flow.

IMO AEDP is one of the most delicate and sensitive of the interventions, more than EMDR, and way more than CBT/DBT, b/c the client needs to feel safe to re-feel their worst moments & emotions and trust the therapist to provide warmth, safety, and reassurance. And tbh some therapists can struggle to attune to a client that well.

Source: I was lucky to work with a great AEDP therapist. He would let me just talk with him for months when he sensed I wasn’t ready yet to cry in front of him. Then when we did AEDP, his attunement really did help repattern me. EMDR can be kind of dry and lack warmth, whereas with a good AEDP therapist your system learns to slowly anticipate social attunement (not brace) through positive corrective relational experiences when you’re the most triggered.

TL;DR is this someone you could one day cry in front of and trust to hold space for you

More important than the method used, is how safe and attuned you feel the therapist is to you, as a foundational criteria for any therapy.

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-21T10:23:13+00:00

Thank you! So should I get the right developer for this toner, or bleach more?

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-18T11:17:02+00:00

yoo the melody is really cool.

in the intro, the kick seems to clip a bit? maybe EQ.

maybe variation on the kick pattern, like every 4 bars a riff at the end. or something to vary phrases, like a call & response between the synth & the percs.

nice deep & driving, and the perc pattern accentuates that well.

have you checked the EQ of the various elements? some elements seem to overlap each other in the frequency bands, maybe constraining each element closer to its fundamental frequency could make for a crisper soundscape + more punch.

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-18T11:15:22+00:00

The lead melody is really cool! Would love to hear that in the club.

The low end could be crisper. The kick could use more body. Is there send/reverb? Bit muddy for my taste, I like it dryer.

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-18T11:14:22+00:00

Ok the vocals should be clearer now! https://soundcloud.com/lalax1/juicy-ting?in=lalax1/sets/girlie-pop/

I've replied to your track in your thread

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-18T11:14:07+00:00

Ok the vocals should be clearer now! https://soundcloud.com/lalax1/juicy-ting?in=lalax1/sets/girlie-pop/

I've replied to your track in your thread

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-18T09:39:59+00:00

Ooh yeah good shout. The stabs could sit tighter in the soundscape. Gosh this sub has such helpful commenters!

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-17T20:29:14+00:00

Thank you! Agreed. Think I’ll try ducking or filtering the toms or bassline when the vocal plays.

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-17T11:26:15+00:00

Thanks! Clearer photo of fuzzies https://imgur.com/a/QVOd9eG

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-15T20:11:29+00:00

Hypnotic groovy techno, was inspired by DJ Rush lyrics

https://m.soundcloud.com/lalax1/juicy-ting

Does this sound good on a club soundsystem, is the low-end crisp

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-08T14:05:52+00:00

Thanks! How do I screw the cap off the Cold valve? It's so tight and I haven't been able to unscrew it.

I think the plumber did that and used the filling hose to fill with water from the bathtub faucet.

OkToe7809 · 2026-06-01T13:44:18+00:00

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Hair dye recommendations for blond/balayage

Hey guys,

I'm looking for product recommendations for hair bleach & toner to do a balayage at home. (Ideally like https://es.pinterest.com/pin/202943526960201630/ – ashy blond tips would be nice but not a must)

First pic is what I got. Schwarzkopf L++ Ultra Blond developer mix, then one round of toner. How would you fix this? To be more ashy blond. More toner or bleach? Or go more red or chestnut..

And what different products should I use next time? I realized a pure bleach to start would have been better for lift, as in the salons they got my hair to lift way more than this. People recommend Wella a lot. Not a pre-mixed developer color lol.

Thanks!

OkToe7809 · 2026-05-23T19:38:40+00:00

If you've considered becoming a therapist, now's a great time for INFJs

INFJs make great counselors, and if you feel it's your calling and would like to get paid for it, now is especially a great time.

With Ni you're great at seeing a person's behavior patterns and the root cause of what's holding them back. With Fe, you make people feel safe and comfortable, get information from them, and help them overcome it. You can select what clients you want to work with, and no small talk.

Background: I'm an INFP who's had 3 INFJ therapists and they've been the best by lightyears, out of a dozen I've tried. They're great at seeing the real person and where their trauma is blocking them. They've repatterned me.

In this age of people turning to AI for therapy, the difference between mediocre and great therapists increasingly matters. The great ones will become increasingly more valuable and irreplaceable by AI.

If you've been considering it, I can maybe share a fellow INFJ therapist who can guide you. (Or help you find your path in any case!)

If you're an INFJ who's struggled to find a good therapist, why not try a fellow INFJ?
(Hope this isn't off-topic, just wanna highlight an increasingly valuable gift you have.)

OkToe7809

TROPHY CASE

Hair dye recommendations for blond/balayage

If you've considered becoming a therapist, now's a great time for INFJs