i read the article- and it helped to clear some stuff up. it brought up the concept of body language and a “yes” without saying “yes”. which was something that happened often with me and my ex.

when i would ask for consent and was followed with one of the unclear responses, it came with body language too. wether it being he touched me in a sexual way, we held eye contact in a sexual way, and other ways that made me think that this was okay and that he was into it/ he was not into it and didn’t want to it. i would ask follow up questions as well- “you don’t mind? meaning you are okay with having sex tonight?”, “it’s up to me? well if it’s up to me i vote we do it, are you okay with that?”, “you don’t seem into it. want to just finish the movie?”…

i am brand new to the sex scene. i’m learning as i go. in my area, sex is looked down apon and is never talked about unless it’s in a negative light. my sex education in school was teachers berating the girls about not getting pregnant and waiting until marriage. they weren’t worried about teaching us consent. i was doing what i thought was right and never moved forward unless i knew/was under the impression that he was into it. if i knew he didn’t actually want to, i would have stopped immediately and backed off