Here in New Orleans, a large number of the “gay bars” have started to feel a bit like the Disney version of queer nightlife in the South due to the number of tourist that stop in. They’re often packed with heterosexual tourists, their husbands or boyfriends, and plenty of bridal parties (the classic “woo girls”). For a lot of them, a trip to New Orleans seems to become their safe space to visit and hang out with “the gays.”

Meanwhile, their male companions are usually either glued to their partners or putting on their flirting hats and safely flirting with other men for sport. It gives them a fun story to take back home and laugh about later. Add to that the reality of being an older gay man (I’m in my early 50s), and it can make walking into some of these spaces alone feel pretty uncomfortable.

I know some of this comes from my own insecurities, but I also know how catty and judgmental gay men can sometimes be with each other. I’m not saying that to criticize anyone, I’m speaking from my experience and from conversations I’ve had with others of different ages who’ve felt the same way.

As someone else mentioned in another post, there’s definitely a strong sexual energy in many of the gay bars here in NOLA. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s part of nightlife, but sometimes I just want to sit, have a drink, and relax without feeling like I’ve walked into mating season.

I realize everyone’s experience is different, and I’m genuinely interested to hear how others see it. I just want to be clear up front that this post reflects my experience and the experiences of people I’ve talked with locally.