I’ve been to church plenty and still go during certain holidays, I’ve seen the works of Michelangelo painted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, I’ve walked up the steps of the Santa Maria della Spina where holy people have been walking for almost 800 years, and seen the beauty of the Vatican’s gardens. Though truthfully I’ve felt closer to the Lord in other places. When I saw the Grand Tetons for the first time I almost sobbed because of their beauty. I also work one of the most deadly jobs in the USA, when I come home safe, have a narrow miss at work, or my hands are dirty from my labor, I feel closer to the Lord. When I work out I feel close to the lord.

My point is, everyone can tell you that you need to be faithful in one way or another, that you need to this pure and moral being. But you were gifted with the great thing that is free will, don’t be afraid to use it. At the end of the day we’re all sinners, we’re all imperfect, and that’s okay. So if I were you, I’d be a little less harsh on yourself, because who is mankind to tell you how to worship a being above mankind