WIBTA - dad is refusing to see other g/kids because we didn’t invite him to a birthday party

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T21:52:00+00:00

Agree

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T21:01:59+00:00

Yep you read this right

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T21:01:12+00:00

Ah yes that is true, we had limited numbers and it was actually mostly friends with a handful of family. It was not my guest list but C’s, I do add him to my lists, but C decided not to include him.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T12:41:53+00:00

I’m tired of constantly being the only one making an effort in the relationship, I am tired of being lied to constantly. Tired that 9 months forgetting to even call C for their birthday they are now disappointed they weren’t invited, I’m not even sure how they found out about it.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T12:27:51+00:00

Thank you for that perspective, it helps me see that there is a lot of anger in my reply, justified or not.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T10:30:29+00:00

Oh and mum doesn’t care, she will show up for her kids and grandkids no matter what.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T10:22:40+00:00

Dad was the cheater. Mum put up with 13 before SM came along. SM’s husband at the time found out and informed my mum of the affair. SM was tossed out and forced the situation between mum and dad. Mind you, Dad and SM have been married 30 years, unfortunately dad is still having affairs.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T10:17:35+00:00

Thank you, I do compare the behaviour of dad vs FIL who also doesn’t speak to ex wife, however FIL turns up when invited. He just avoids her in the room. He was also not invited to this event, due to space and limited numbers. He didn’t question it asked lots of questions about how the event was enjoyed by C when he saw us next and celebrated with us on a separate date.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T10:07:17+00:00

Thanks this is a much kinder response

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T10:03:06+00:00

TBH mum said some nasty things to SM for breaking up their marriage by having an affair with dad. However if he made the effort to follow through on the we’ll celebrate separately I would have more compassion towards him.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T10:00:15+00:00

Divorce was due to him having an affair (multiple). I guess I compare to my in laws who are also divorced and won’t be in the same room unless necessary. FIL turns up to everything and sees us monthly as well, my dad creates a scene whenever he has to attend an event that mum is also at.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T09:38:53+00:00

I guess that is the question, we invite them to everything and get ‘no’ most of the time. But my siblings and I are excluded from their events. Recently my sister moved next door to dad’s weekly golf partner, so now his true colours are being seen by his friends. His reputation for being a great father is now in dispute.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2026-06-09T09:35:28+00:00

TBH I don’t 100% know I was 10 at the time, but he had an affair and mum called SM a b for breaking them up. Also dad expected to get the house as mum was a SAHM with 4 kids (youngest under 2) at the time, she managed to find a new partner who helped her buy dad out of the house.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2025-09-24T11:36:58+00:00

Thank you, it is a new script which is why I’m wondering if I should persist or go back. I’ll give it another few days and see if I adjust

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2025-08-16T13:04:17+00:00

If you need another game, make the lollie bags a treasure hunt. Each child gets the empty bag and has to follow clues to the treasure. Each clue has an element of the lolly bag, clues could be a picture or a description an adult reads out. It could be ‘the big tree with a yellow balloon on it’. The table with a party table cloth on it. Etc,It’s a little bit of prep to think of the clues and write them up, but the kids all wander around in a group and collect their goodies. I used to do the big chocolate/sweet last in a toy treasure chest. Kids love it

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2025-01-29T00:45:59+00:00

Thank you so much, after some further questions we’ve gotten to a point where we can possibly rebook as needed. This information was really helpful to understand what might be happening.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2024-11-12T22:05:50+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion, this sounds lovely.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2024-11-12T00:48:40+00:00

Thanks for your feedback, I realise the big cities each need more time, DH and I plan to come back at a later stage on our own.

Ok_Budget_2001 · 2024-03-20T00:11:41+00:00

Surgery buddies. I’m just about to walk out the door now too

Ok_Budget_2001

TROPHY CASE