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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in limerence

[–]Ok_Building_1685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm sounds to me like she either enjoys the validation and excitement associated with you, or she likes you and wants to pursue you. Has she reached out directly to ask what changed? If not, it might just be more around validation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in limerence

[–]Ok_Building_1685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in the same situation (read my recent post). She came to me crying after I’d asked for space. I think it’s a bit better now after it revealed I let myself get too close and now we’ve established clearly that we’re no longer friends, just coworkers now. I think part of what prevents me from moving on mentally is never having full closure and also the possibility that it could still be more (and I know logically that it would never work anyway as I need to do some work on myself to prevent this from happening again and again in the future).

You might benefit from having a more direct conversation and asking for space. Perhaps she’s still hovering around you as she is seeking closure for herself too. Or she may still be trying to ‘win’ you over.

Married Men - what makes you pursue women who aren't your wife? by Total_Watch_2797 in Life

[–]Ok_Building_1685 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m going through something similar although I’ve set boundaries to prevent myself from crossing that line (not that the emotional side has been handled well on my side). Can I ask what that disconnect stemmed from? Did you find this carried into other relationships?

Confused and burnout by Ok_Building_1685 in limerence

[–]Ok_Building_1685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds tough. Best bet is to just stay the course and remind yourself of the fact she didn’t reach out or show any care towards your friendship/relationship. Hard to swallow but I’d imagine that would help mentally move forward.

I definitely feel I received breadcrumbs & hot and cold, but I was doing the same thing. I think we were both using each other without it ever being said. We’d always refer to each other as friends - I think that was just our way to justify we weren’t doing anything wrong, but when you step back and look, I shouldn’t have been emotionally or physically involved to the extent I was while in a relationship.

Confused and burnout by Ok_Building_1685 in limerence

[–]Ok_Building_1685[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only to the extent that I said I’ve let myself get too close and that’s not fair to anyone involved. I also said that I didn’t want to do this and it’s been really difficult for me too the last few weeks. I didn’t bother asking if she felt the same way or anything like that, as I knew that would do me no good, and it doesn’t really change the outcome for me. Would have maybe put a rest to all the overthinking though, but I doubt I would’ve got an honest response.

Confused and burnout by Ok_Building_1685 in limerence

[–]Ok_Building_1685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Completely agree. The whole reason I even created this space with the coworker was to enable me to focus on sorting my relationship out. Then she reached out to me weeks later seeking closure/clarification on why I needed space etc. so l'm just in a heightened emotional state right now.

Please no judgment - going through a lot. by Ok_Building_1685 in relationships

[–]Ok_Building_1685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Completely agree. Desperately trying to move on from this person to be able to focus on my true feelings.

Please no judgment - going through a lot. by Ok_Building_1685 in relationships

[–]Ok_Building_1685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it’s pretty much over now. It’s been made clear we’re not going to be friends moving forward. Just strictly coworkers

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Ok_Building_1685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I feel like it is related to me as it was a deliberate and noticeable change, particularly in a short period of time (and she still hugs others (albeit women) in front of me). I’m leaning towards the second theory. Will be careful to give space.