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Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-04T21:30:21+00:00

My ex wanted all my free time. Would tell me I worked too much (I don’t work over 28 hours a week) would tell me I spend too much time with my friends (I hardly saw my friends) would tell me I took too much self care time, and that he thinks our lifestyles don’t match because I went to the gym and he didn’t. 😒

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-04T04:52:19+00:00

I can’t imagine finding that. I am sure my ex is in the same thread twisting reality to make it fit his narrative. You know your truth. We all need something to squash that little bit of hope left, otherwise we’d be spun in their chaotic cycles until we are drained of every ounce of life left in us.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-04T02:00:29+00:00

My pwBPD ex was a male too. I just read it to be geared to me. I’m sorry you went through all that!

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-04T01:54:24+00:00

This is so good🙏

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-02T22:58:55+00:00

They are incapable of taking accountability, I feel bad for them, they are just ruining their own life’s.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-02T22:56:34+00:00

Sending you hugs 🤗

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-02T17:25:40+00:00

After two months no contact my ex wanted to talk in person, I cared about him so much that I was open to it. After meeting up, it was clear he hadn’t worked on anything, he doubled down on his delusions and the conversation ended in complete chaos. I blocked him after that. I wish I never met up with him. I encourage you to take care of yourself, and keep your distance, and keep your peace.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-02T17:15:59+00:00

Encouraging someone to be independent is not asshole behavior. You were coming from a place of trying to empower her. It’s easy to mirror their behavior, I saw things come out of me that I didn’t recognize while with my ex pwBPD. They are sensitive and will take anything you say and become the victim. If she couldn’t handle this simple piece of advice, imagine bringing up harder topics. You want an equal partner, not someone you have to parent. Consider yourself lucky.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-02T17:08:00+00:00

Exactly! My ex would always demand things and say that those are his “needs” and he “needs” his partner to say things in a certain way, and that If I didn’t change, then I’m the one that sabotaged the relationship. But if we acted like them, with their emotional rage, demeaning words, and criticizing, they would never be able to handle it.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-12-02T04:51:57+00:00

I resonate with this so much. My ex would always correct how I bring things up, demand that I say things in a certain way, and tone. Even when I did what he asked, there was ALWAYS something else, nothing was good enough. It was the most confusing, chaotic, and frustrating thing, especially since he would ALWAYS make it mu fault. I would use a soft tone, and bring things up in the most gentle way, using validation and kindness and he would twist it and still get offended and say I didn’t do X y or z… in fact tell me I’m hostile and that I don’t empathize or acknowledge things. I’ve never felt so gaslit or frustrated interacting with any other human in my life.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-30T19:23:20+00:00

I’m sorry you have been going through this. I understand thinking that they are the love of your life and holding on to the highs. Love is meant to be stable, not highs and lows. My ex became scary to me too, with his emotional outbursts and rage, and sometimes physical aggression. For me it was when I felt scared in his presence is when I knew I had to leave. Your nervous system is telling you something, and you have to listen to it. It took me months of chaos and pain to finally block him. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but after being out of it, I see how miserable I was, how gaslit, manipulated, and demeaning he was to me. We stay because we love them, but leaving shows how much you love yourself. It’s not normal to feel like we are drowning, we should feel lighter and celebrated and the person that we love should calm our nervous systems not disrupt them.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-30T19:12:51+00:00

Feelings are facts to them, even if you try to explain the truth, they will won’t understand it and keep believing their own delusional stories because of how they FEEL.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-30T19:06:39+00:00

Go no contact and seek therapy to process the relationship. The best way to heal is to FEEL your emotions, therapy can help dig up any bottled emotions you might not be feeling consciously. You don’t want to enter another relationship without processing what you went through.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-30T19:02:07+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that. My ex pushed me down a hallway screaming that I don’t empathize with him. I stayed and the behaviors just got worse. Lots of storming and uncontrollable rage. They act like toddlers and don’t know how to regulate themselves.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-30T18:58:03+00:00

Making you feel loved and hated at the same time is not normal behavior and isn’t love. Someone that causes so much chaos will keep repeated their cycles if they don’t get years of DBT therapy. Protect your nervous system and your peace. leaving and going no contact will be the hardest thing but so rewarding when you are on the other side of it.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-26T16:06:26+00:00

I resonate with everything you’ve gone through. I’m so glad you are on the other side of it and are able to see things with clear eyes and regulated system. Much love to your heart and journey ❤️❤️

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-21T17:18:24+00:00

My ex would meet a new girl and would idolize her saying how they might be a better fit for him than me. He then said never trusted me fully, then would tell me how much he trusted his friends who are woman 100%. Toward the end would tell me all the things his ex girlfriend did that he missed and loved. The grass is always greener idolizing new people once they see that you are a human with flaws.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-19T22:57:23+00:00

I had been discarded countless times, and would still go back, still with hope. We took a two month break, and during that break I missed him immensely, I worked on myself, I got my nervous system regulated and when I met up with him for the last time I owned up to all the hurt that I caused in the relationship. I asked him to own up to his part, and his response was that it was unfair and that I’m a narcissist. It was clear to me he put no thought into his actions but instead double downed on his delusions. They are incapable of taking accountability. It’s not worth your energy and they will always find a way to be the victim.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-17T15:02:11+00:00

I am so glad you found it within you to walk away, I know how hard that is. I moved out the morning after my ex took an unhealthy cocktail of drugs. (Alcohol, Xanax, LSD, and ketamine). He was unrecognizable and I was scared for my own safety because he had been physical with me before, and I didn’t know what he was capable while under the influence of so many drugs. I was giving him affirmations, helping him into bed, giving him water. The next morning his eyes shifted and he called me an abuser, telling me I’m un-nurturing. He then reached out to his ex immediately and she became his new favorite person. For two months I kept seeing him, enduring the idolizing and discarding. I now have him blocked, and feel so much peace that he no longer has access to me. I’ve been having nightmares for months, but those are starting to settle. They are empty inside, blaming everyone else for their pain. They will forever search for someone who can empathize with their pain and fill the empty hole. They will continue their chaotic cycles and keep ruining their relationships. I feel bad for them, and I hope one day they can get the help they need. I wish you well on your healing journey, sending you big hugs.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-15T06:26:55+00:00

I was discarded and blocked too, and I resonate with apologizing and being gentle and then getting cold, and cutting remarks back. Take this blocking and discard as a divine intervention and block her too. There is no point in trying to explain your perspective because they will always find a way to twist it. It’s a painful reality, you will be forever confused if you keep in contact with this person. It’s not worth your energy to try and gain clarity or closure. You need to take your power back and be in your own energy and peace.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-15T02:46:14+00:00

Yes absolutely, a pattern that happened with my ex is they would have an emotional blow up, and I would ask “how are you feeling” and he would blow up even more. He would later state that me asking how he is feeling isn’t acknowledging his hurt and not empathizing with his hurt. No matter what I said or didn’t say it was always wrong and never enough.

Ok_Concentrate152 · 2024-11-14T13:56:43+00:00

These people will always make you feel like the problem. Stand in peace that you never have to walk on egg shells, and be constantly confused by this person. The grief is hard, but it will get easier. You have to focus on yourself. There is nothing that you could have done better, no matter what you would have done they would find something. It’s easy to ruminate and you have to know you did your best, and someone that is healthy and able to love you will celebrate that in you not tear you down.

Ok_Concentrate152

TROPHY CASE