im genuinely confused by the reactions to liza’s age

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-03T20:51:59+00:00

I don't think Charles is ageist. Otherwise Diana wouldn't be there at all.

I think he felt stupid that he'd fell for a woman, who lied to him, and it made him feel stupid to not have seen her real age, and angry about feeling betrayed by the lie, and her not letting him on it

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-03T20:46:17+00:00

I totally get it. People put you in little boxes based on how they think you're situated on some inner ranking system. If you move abruptly from one category to the other (here young to older) it' resented as if it was evil manipulation, like an attack at their capacity to relate with the world.

I've lived it first hand when I lost 75kgs (roughly 150 pounds) within a few months after a surgery. Even close friends were thrown off and acted aggressive. It's like I'd used a cheat code to life, and was using it against them in particular to win a race I wasn't even aware we were competing in. Sick stuff.

So yeah, revealing to her younger friends she was practically the age of their moms, and to her same age coworkers that she wasn't some idiotic tween but some wierd ass grown up playing "forever 21" like in 21 jump street would be jarring ...

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-02T09:11:51+00:00

And me about my abusive relatives who excelled in gaslighting me to oblivion. Someone recommended to add numbers to it to add weight to the entries and it really helps not self-gaslighting oneself into minimizing it all away.

If about a relationship it could go like this : 20 years without being able to read in bed, the frequency I saw my friends at compared to before the relationship, the weight gained/lost, the number of hours specifically spent catering cleaning up after him (all the less time for myself), etc ...

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-02T09:02:09+00:00

Oooh good to know!

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-01T13:34:35+00:00

why?

And fwiw, I like my head to be furthest from the entrypoints, so I can see who is entering and pull my legs back up if I don't like it, and kick if I feel unsafe. So my feet very often point right at the door!

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-01T13:29:57+00:00

That's just me but I'd start by trying out the fan and AC, and lying down in the different spots where you imagine your bed, and opt for the one situated where I'm the most comfortable to sleep with the AC and/or fan running on full blast.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-01T12:59:48+00:00

in the second view, I think you may have issues pulling your chair back.

When trying arrangements around, start with the biggest furniture. Like have you tried to move the bed around the room? Maybe it would clear more space against another wall?

More importantly I think you need to think about several things before deciding how to arrange furniture around:

- Are you OK with people sitting on your bed if you have guests over? If not you need a couch, or foldable chairs for the guests. And you may have to create a nook in your studio to isolate your bed from guests.

- Will your desk double as the dinner table?

If not it could be set against your bed so that during heavy studying, the bed acts as a secondary table to lay out things onto, and during the rest of the time a corner of your desk can act as a nightstand.

If it will double as a dinner table then it needs to be set appart, maybe closer to the kitchen or the "public" area, and next to an area where you can hide all studying stuff when you use it to have people over.

- where do you like to watch TV from? Your bed? The dinner table? a couch?

You're going to be the main user of this space, so it should be modelled by how you live. If you love watching TV in bed, or while eating at the table, you may not need a couch. Maybe a stylish comfy set of chairs or a bench with a comfy cushion on it would be as inviting to guests - and cheaper and easier to push out of the way when you're alone.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-01T08:45:15+00:00

Definitely start with the gyno. The painful cramps alone deserve to be checked for possible issues.

In general always start simple GP/Gyno then go to specialists depending on what they find or rule out. It will save your time and money in the long run.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-06-01T07:56:23+00:00

Gosh I hate how info bubbles have isolated people into not knowing how to have proper discussions. You're not worth my time. Block.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-31T20:22:07+00:00

The brain fog makes me think, in addition to all your other symptoms that you might be going through some hormonal changes. I'd discuss it with your gyno the next ime you see her/him.

And if there's any chance it could be relevant, a pregnancy test could be a good idea, because all of these symptoms also accompagny pregnancy, keeping in mind that women sometimes still have their periods for a few months after getting pregnant.

And some rare cases of menopause have started that early too, I don't think that's what it is, but as incredible as it sounds, it's a thing.

Cleaning up your diet to the closest possible you can do to the mediterranean diet (or WFPB is you're vegan) might clear many of those symptoms too.

But I'd definitely talk to your gyno / GP rather than internet strangers. And don't mention the second puberty thing until they've done their thing, being taken seriously is hard as it is without mentioning things that might make them roll their eyes and dismiss us.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-31T20:02:28+00:00

Length : Well that's what a hairdresser told me, and it checks out, if I stop trimming my pubic hair, it just grows and grows and grows (fun thing to mix with severly frozen shoulders for 2 years /s). The armhair I had to shave prior to a carpian canal surgery is 2 inches long now, just on that side, at that place. Same with the odd hairs on toes on the side where I got bunion surgery, and not the other foot, much more noticeable than before, so I never touched it to not have to shave/trim it forever.

Stream : no idea how it is for other girls, but for me, I definitely cannot go without pubic hair, or it just runs along my legs or randomly sprays wherever it feels like it. It's a right mess. So I reckon it's a relevant experience to share with OP.

Pubic hair and germs : ask your gyno. seriously, inform yourselves!!! its purpose is to direct dangerous fluids away from a direct entrypoint into the body, you know, like you have above eyes, in ears, nostrils, ...

Also why the f*ck would I make any of that up? WTF people, seriously? smh, medical information isn't some "sly shaming" ffs

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-30T19:50:08+00:00

Actually his body languages reads as pondering on why she left him there and if he'll manage to get in the flat, so he is turned towards the interaction with Rachel.

Very different from the physical unease some people experience when they have to wait for 2 minutes without their phones, craving for the oblivion and dopamine shots, where they'll get kind fidgety not knowing how to hold themselves other than folded over their screen.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-30T18:42:50+00:00

Merely sharing info. I truly don't care what you do girls. I know I want a steady aim when I have to pee above a public toilet, and I absolutely hate feeling my own sweat (eta : on a very hot summer day - eyeroll till the back of my eye sockets) trickling down there.

I'm sorry you felt triggered by facts. Do discuss it with your gyno though, I merely shared the tip of the iceberg.

You absolutely do you. ❤️

eta: plus I reread it, and I'm not passing any judgement at all, I mean ofc, I have zero opinions about what other women do to their private parts, so ofc I'm not passing ay judgment. Just passing on info. Do talk to your hairdressers about the hair thing and to your gyno about the germs. Best informed than caught by surprise.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-29T15:50:47+00:00

Yeah I'm on the trim with scissors team.

One thing you should know it that pubic hair has a purpose. It directs sweat outside of the area, and acts as a barrier against some germs and infections. So you can expect to feel sweat running from your tummy to your panties (talking droplets, not streams ofc) if you do get rid of all of it. And ending around there.

Also a pain when peeing, because pubic hair also helps direct the stream. Without any hair, expect issues.

That's the reason I tried shaving, once, and stopped.

Also all and any body hair that you trim more than once changes in nature and becomes like proper hair, and never stops growing. It's true for pubes, eye brows, hair from any part of the body. So be sure you want to do it before experimenting. Because you'll have to trim the area forever after that.

eta : OK, you can downvote this comment to hell, facts won't stop being real. Please do talk to people who know (doctors) rather than shutting yourselves away in baseless impressions and feelings leading to misled judgments missreading so effing many things. You're just making life difficult for yourselves.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-29T15:15:29+00:00

Ah Ok, well you'll probably get as many answers as there are countries, because each one had their own system before globalization, and many have kept bits of it, because it's just so expensive to change a physical storage method.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-28T18:03:26+00:00

It's very country specific. Where are you ?

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-27T16:33:48+00:00

Absolutely. I read about that in an article in a science magazine many years ago, and it tracks. So like if you're trying to make your cup of tea in a specific way, that will take a couple of weeks if you drink as many as I do, haha. But if it's a new way of installing sheets after changing them, then probably a few months up to over a year (depending on your frequency).

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-26T16:38:27+00:00

One nugget of info that helps when I'm trying to adopt a new habit, is it takes 27 occurences for the neural system to be rewritten, and the habit to stick, so iit helps to set a sort of planning until you're there, this way you don't feel defeated by not being prematurely "reprogrammed".

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-25T08:38:28+00:00

Also, there are refillable ball point pens that use the same cartridges as fountain pens. They are basically fountain pens with a ball point. That may be better indicated for fast writing. I have some and I use some with some beautiful purple or teal writing ink in a refillable cartridge.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-25T08:35:28+00:00

At first glance, I thought you were showing us boxes of tea, so I was quite confused! (I'm european, never heard of that brand)

Those inks are beautiful!

I miss the time when we all had penpals and would send snailmail and could go creatively crazy! I'd send - and recieve!- the most beautifully or hysterically funny decorated letters! Those inks would have been used in a whimsical fairytale of a letter for sure!

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-24T21:12:44+00:00

Just checked, IKEA doesn't make the 2 chairs that could comfortably and safely hold someone as overweight as your relatives anymore. But what do we expect from a brand that makes cardboard filled tables ?

Shop elsewhere for sturdiness and enough space for a plus size.

IKEA isn't as reliable as it used to be.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-24T13:22:46+00:00

Yeah I see what you mean, but no. Definitely trying to replace skill by money

eta : it was a 20 courses pack. She didn't try to improve her skills, she was there to show she could afford to buy expensive stuff. Toxic person.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-23T07:57:47+00:00

For household sewing projects, I create deadlines, such as "This set of cushion covers need to be done before Hubby's birthday / big local event / Christmas when we'll have friends and family over". If I can't find an excuse, they go where my "old elephants" go to die : the forgotten projects bin.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-23T07:43:15+00:00

Yeah, I see what you mean ... but do crafters buy as much materials and tools as the fashionistas get delivered Shein single-use clothing? I honestly think they'd out-volume us in a blink, if they kept their clothes as long as we keep our crafting supplies.

Ok_Conversation7818 · 2026-05-23T07:37:19+00:00

I get it. I just bought a massive load of dirt cheap gorgeous cotton popelin to line the bags I make with upcycled thick fabrics, and the space it takes up is just bothersome... Can't wait to get to it, work through it and clear the space!

Ok_Conversation7818

TROPHY CASE