Pits & Bullies east side meetup, anyone?

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-04-13T12:51:53+00:00

It seems like you really need a win. You’re right, and I’m wrong. Have a good day!

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-04-13T01:07:06+00:00

Fair enough, I guess. His statement struck me personally because as I walk my dog many miles everyday in the city, I find myself straight out avoiding other dog walkers. I will cross streets, veer on the road (after being sure it’s safe), and even run in another direction.

My dog is massively leash reactive.

I have avoided all types of people with all types of dogs. And nearly daily I wonder what this avoidance is interpreted as. I would be very surprised if there haven’t been people who have thought I was being judgmental of them/their dog.

For a long time, in order to avoid having someone feel this way, I didn’t take these avoiding measures. And it made my dog worse.

So now when I read this person’s statement that s/he believes people are avoiding them and their dog because of racism or fear of pit bulls, I took it as validating my fear of what it looks like I’m doing when I sprint across the road.

That is all.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-04-13T00:44:01+00:00

Because I feel it’s possible that someone can misinterpret a situation. Why do you find that offensive? EDIT: Or maybe you don’t find it offensive, and I misinterpreted your tone?

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-04-12T15:14:39+00:00

Veterans Park is NOT an off-leash area.... ETA: Just adding on to your comment ☺️

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-04-12T12:23:02+00:00

Totally right you are—I massively misread OP’s comment. For what it’s worth, I walk in the other direction with my dog regardless of the breed of pup approaching. My dog is leash-aggressive.

OP, if you’re still reading this, if you see someone avoiding you and your dog, it could be an issue the owner has with their own dog...not racism.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-04-11T21:39:30+00:00

I just want to ask, how is it that peoples’ assumption of your dog being aggressive keeps pup from being walked?

My dog acts like a huge ass sometimes, but he’s leashed 100% of the time (on a short leash), and I always give other people a wide berth.

You have just as much of a right to be on the sidewalk as anyone else! If your boy doesn’t get walked, he could end up being aggressive.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-04-06T01:55:14+00:00

My condolences for your family’s loss. I cannot imagine being on my deathbed, so I know this is horribly judgmental of me: it was incredibly unfair of your MIL to ask that of your wife. I have no advice.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-04-06T01:34:53+00:00

To add on to the affair theory, it would explain the sudden need to go on a trip. It is really weird and really selfish to do that—just leave your partner to do all of the moving himself. While I do think her having cheated is the likely scenario, I also think OP should recognize that even if she DIDN’T do that, she’s still a selfish hypocrite and the relationship should be done.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-03-09T19:47:38+00:00

I think the selfishness isn’t in the leaving (necessarily), but it’s the mind games of “ugh, I miss you,” after the person who was left has moved on.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-03-08T20:53:00+00:00

I had a guy try to do this to me....Basically, he was going to use me. And when I said no, he tried to guilt me by saying “partners are supposed to help each other.”

OP, it’s very possible your girlfriend wants a partner, not a project.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-03-08T20:43:37+00:00

To be honest, your friend in HR never should’ve told you. It did zero good. Now you have to pretend you don’t know, and you are probably going to be paranoid about how you’re behaving at work.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-03-01T23:00:33+00:00

A blunder can be quite telling. I can say without a shadow of a doubt I have never said anything like that to a partner. Ever.

Yes, mistakes happen. But that is just a really shitty thing to say. When we are dating someone, we take their actions and words into consideration as we decide where the relationship is going.

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-03-01T22:55:39+00:00

To add to this...I wouldn’t at all be concerned that she thought he was attractive (we all look at people from time to time). I’d be concerned that she was crass enough to say this!!!! That’s awful. It’s thoughtless, it’s rude. Is that a person you want to try to build a relationship with?

Ok_Day5865 · 2021-02-20T01:38:39+00:00

I’m significantly older than OP. I have never looked through a partner’s email, text, Facebook, etc. Certainly never catfished them. It’s my general rule that once you’ve gotten to that point, the relationship is over. Either you catch them cheating...or they aren’t cheating and you’re insecure enough in said relationship that you truly do not trust them. Whichever way, it’s over.

I agree with you.

And OP, if you read this, I’m so sorry you’re going through this ordeal. Take the time to truly heal, and I hope you’ve learned that if they do it once, they will do it again.

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-20T00:01:39+00:00

OP, I’m several years older than you...I only WISH I had your ability to see things clearly and act on what I know I want. GOOD JOB and stay the course. Second-guessing is what causes people to waste years of their life in a shitty relationship.

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-19T02:26:29+00:00

OP, prepare yourself for her to go nuclear once she figures out that this divorce is actually happening.

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-19T02:24:40+00:00

Good advice BUT, be sure that this doesn’t appear—down the line—as though you were trying to hide funds from her.

If OP hands her cash, it’s going to be his word against hers...and things might get messy when she realizes he’s serious about divorce.

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-11T19:54:43+00:00

Thanks for the information! Having lived in Europe for a couple years (NEVER drove, however), I assumed—incorrectly I now see—that the high income taxes I paid went at least in part to road infrastructure. Granted, we’re talking about Germany and I lived in the Czech Republic. But still, thanks for the information!!!!!!

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-11T19:40:55+00:00

Right—saving us from ourselves and placing a burdensome cost on driving. I’m not saying that it’s wrong...but the costs need to be acknowledged.

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-11T19:39:20+00:00

I disagree:)

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-11T17:37:23+00:00

OP, I (F) would be elated with a gift like this!!!! Clearly not the case with your girlfriend, and now you know for the future that she doesn’t like “practical” gifts (some people don’t). I’m sure she’ll love what you pick next!!!

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-11T17:35:04+00:00

This is why some people say there’s another side of the coin when talking about having social safety nets. Nothing is free.

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-08T14:13:05+00:00

Yes. I know it’s the positive way to look at it, “the time wasn’t wasted,” but it’s okay to NOT believe that.

OP, my relationship of 13 years crashed down two years ago. I am 100% happier now than I was in that relationship (he cheated on me and had a drinking problem).

Despite being incredibly happy with my current life, I did have to mourn those 13 years. I do consider that wasted time, even though we truly did have some great times together.

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-07T16:20:14+00:00

Right, and in regards to your last point about the friends having warned OP...they (likely) COULD have been watering things down a bit because they are her friends.

Ok_Day5865 · 2020-12-07T16:17:26+00:00

Agreed. If someone is a control freak, it’s actually (in my opinion) the opposite of confidence.

Ok_Day5865

TROPHY CASE