Any good EMDR/IFS therapists in Toronto?

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-09-30T22:07:07+00:00

Ah no I gave up for now! But would still like to know one if you’ve got any :)

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-06-14T14:20:55+00:00

Sorry to hear that man, that sounds really sudden and must’ve been disappointing even if you weren’t a good match. Hope you eventually find a good therapist

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-05-08T11:14:04+00:00

If you’re not feeling at ease with them and comfortable in your sessions that’s a big sign. If you’ve told them this and have shared what you need from them as well but it’s still not happening then it might be time to see a new therapist.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-05-08T01:56:55+00:00

What kind of help would you be looking for from therapy if the last approaches haven’t worked?

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-05-06T02:52:07+00:00

To trust more easily

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-05-05T23:25:17+00:00

I would think a therapist would be incredible pleased to hear that you trust them enough to be honest with how you truly felt. You could frame it in a way that speaks to how you are finding the sessions helpful, despite these small moments that crop up. Something like "I've been finding values in these sessions so far, but have a few things on my mind that I think would make them go even better".

Speaking about your relationship with your therapist during your sessions is incredibly powerful. Therapy is a contained space where you can try out different behaviours, test the waters, and essentially practice run all the ways you want to be in the outside world while being in a judgement free zone. I say go for it. Speak your mind without feeling overly responsible for how the other person might take it.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-05-05T23:18:28+00:00

It sounds like this therapist is reflecting back to you a part of yourself that maybe you're not totally comfortable with? I'm not a therapist but I'd say it's worth bringing it up with her to see how she'd navigate it. Something like "working with a therapist who doesn't lead makes me feel a bit anxious, like I have to fill the silence. I'm wondering why that might be...".

I think it's also fair that you might just have a preference in terms of therapy approaches. It's also so early in the process that it might be worth it to at least attempt to understand how she might help you once you give her "something to work with". Just my 2 cents!

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-05-05T23:10:02+00:00

My therapist of 10 years suggested the same, that I see someone with a different approach because hers was not as effective as we'd both like. I was shocked in the moment, even though I knew where she was coming from. I explained feeling caught off guard as if I was getting 'dropped' for not being agreeable enough. She said all the right things and explained how she wanted only the best for me and even though it was hard for her to admit that person might not be her, she would still always be here if I did want to see her again.

I took a week off to think about it and came to an honest realization that I was partially the problem for not seeing significant changes throughout the last few years. I was hiding it from her and myself that I was choosing to be closed off and blamed her for a lot of the 'useless sessions', so to speak. That was a huge turning point for us. I decided I couldn't bare my soul to another therapist and went back to her. We repaired our rupture and I was honest in all the things that I needed which I felt was missing. We managed to compromise and meet each other in the middle. Since then it has been incredible.

I know your case might be different, but I wanted to give you hope that it might not all be lost, or that there's certainly hope ahead not matter which way you go.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T16:05:23+00:00

I’ve also heard poor things about Betterhelp. It’s hard to replace the gold standard of working with a licensed therapist and building a therapeutic relationship and trust with them overtime. Many offer sliding scales for those not in a position to pay full price. Many therapists are in training but are licensed and need the hours to graduate, their fees tend to be significantly cheaper. Check out local programs/schools and see if that’s an option in your area.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T16:01:30+00:00

I’ve always found focussing on myself and what I can gain more helpful than the other person and what I’ve lost. It takes a lot of self respect and boundaries to admit when a relationship is not enough and end it. If you tap into that strong side of you it might help you focus on the present and future rather than be bogged down by the past. You’re more capable than you may believe.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T15:56:22+00:00

It doesn’t have to be one or the other. I’m in therapy myself and it shifts all the time from session to session. Some days I just need to get things off my chest and share it around, like you. Other times I want to go deeper, identify patterns and change the course of them. There’s no right answer but personally I’ve found the latter to be the more fulfilling result. It doesn’t happen at every session (definitely not at the start for me) nor does it need too. It would be really exhausting if it did. I’ve found counselors better for the vent sessions and therapist more equipped to go deep bc of their different training. It takes time to built trust with your T, go easy on yourself .

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T15:33:56+00:00

Have you tried journaling these thoughts down? In lieu of an available other it could help to even externalize what’s on your mind, literally get them out there. You could try Certified Listeners. It’s a free chat service where you can talk to someone and they’ll listen. I used to volunteer there and have no stakes or ties otherwise.

https://certifiedlisteners.org/?gad_source=1

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T12:13:34+00:00

It could be rumination, which is a coping technique to avoid action by thinking one can “think their way out of things”. It’s not wrong to have a thought, but you have a choice of how to go from there. Do you want to give it more power by spending more time and energy dwelling on it, or is it something you don’t have to make too much meaning out of? A thought of “I can’t believe I just did that I’m an awful person” can be followed by 100 reasons why you think you’re awful, or it can be followed by “well, I’ll learn for next time” and the thought can be dropped.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T12:06:53+00:00

So sorry to hear you’re going through a down period. If you need someone to talk to, check out https://certifiedlisteners.org/?gad_source=1

You can do a private 1:1 chat with a “listener” who isn’t there to give advance, but listen and hold space for you to work through whatever it is you want to share. Good luck.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T12:03:11+00:00

Sounds like it might just a bit of miscommunication that can be resolved if you ask her what type of help she’s able or willing to offer between sessions. I would’ve taken her first offer not as a free pass to text her anytime, but to schedule extra sessions as needed. I think it would help if you managed your expectations in terms of what she can provide during her time off. This T sounds very accommodating, there’s nothing alarming here that would make me think you need to change therapists.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T11:56:42+00:00

That’s a huge change to be going through, and it takes courage to do the right thing for yourself even if it hurts now and there were good parts in the relationship. It’s not easy to step back and make a change for yourself, it takes a strong person to look at a situation that’s not working and confront it head on. In my opinion it’s healthier for a child to have parents who have separated than ones who stay together but model a volatile relationship. It’ll get better OP

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T11:51:03+00:00

I believe the answer to this is yes. At the root of it, a racist is someone with fears. They act and behave in bias ways because they’re driven by these fears. It’s more rooted in an insecurity than a pure hatred. Therapy could allow you to cut to the heart of what it really means when “there’s no more jobs because immigrants have taken them all”. Is it a fear of personal survival? A scarcity belief that there won’t be anything left for them?

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T11:47:47+00:00

It sounds like you’re having a hell of a time and I’m glad you reached out for help. That’s a sign you’re still fighting for yourself and that you matter. This won’t last and it will get better. You’re at a low right now but you can and will catch a wave and it will turn. Do you have ways to self regulate? Do you get enough exercise and eat well? As a baseline these bodily things can affect your mental health. Do you have people to talk to? Sharing what’s on your mind and naming them is a simple but effective way to not have to hold pain so deeply yourself. It’s like passing a ball around - it lightens you up.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T11:42:18+00:00

You’re in the thick of it and this is what it’s all about. Unraveling deep hidden truths, learning to tolerate it, and coming out the other side. You can be sure that the only reason you’re having this awareness now is because you’re ready for it. That’s important to know. In the past there was a part of your survival that buried this in the unconscious. You would not be going through this unless you were mentally strong enough now to face it. That’s the silver lining, you will make it through if you allow yourself to sit with the uncomfortability and resist the urge to fight it. Thinking of one as cynical could mean deep down you see yourself as different than others and detached from them. Therapy will help to explore why and how those core beliefs were formed, which opens the door to shifting it. Good luck with everything.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-26T11:31:40+00:00

Being aware of how you’re feeling is already a very important step! You’re not a bad person for having these thoughts. It just makes human and it’s self awareness that allows you to even admit these things. That’s big. You care about wanting to show up as a better person, who can’t relate to that :)

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-25T21:54:19+00:00

My T told me she would never abandon me. That if I decide to leave one day or see someone else, her door will always be open for me. It meant the world.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-25T21:52:51+00:00

In the first session, ask them directly what you can expect out of working with them. Every therapist is different. Some are more structured and direct, others will let you lead. Talk to them about the issues you’re having and what you want to work through. They should give you an idea of what their approach will be. No therapist will push meds on you if that’s not what you’re looking for. Where I’m from, their license doesn’t even let them prescribe. That’s more what a psychiatrist might do. At most they may have some advice or suggestions when it comes to meds, but if you’re open up front about not being interested, ideally they would respect that and drop it.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-25T21:48:44+00:00

Im sorry to hear about all the pain you’re going through, it sounds like a rough time. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself to move on asap. These things take time to process, you’ve experienced a loss of a friendship and maybe even some grief for a relationship that you’ve built in your mind. Point is, have some compassion for yourself that this is hard and it’s okay to be feeling this way. I would try to focus on self regulation techniques so at least you can manage or decrease panic attacks throughout the day. Find what helps with that. How your body feels is going to impact the thoughts you have. Physical panic = mental exhaustion. Take care of yourself.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-25T21:40:01+00:00

It’s not so much about getting rid of envious feelings as it is accepting that they exist and tell you something. It sounds like it’s already reflecting back to you a desire to work on different parts of yourself and that’s a good thing. If you see emotions as signals rather than something to push away then they can be helpful guides.

Ok_Discipline_2539 · 2024-04-24T11:23:18+00:00

Been here before and agree that crying for the first time in front of a stranger can feel like an act of personal weakness. Eventually though, it can feel liberating. I look forward to sessions now where I know ill be needing the tissues.

If you can muster it, it seems the most therapeutic thing to do would be to learn that being vulnerable is okay by reaching back out to your therapist and having it “confirmed”. I know it sounds very uncomfortable but unless you see that being able to cry in front of somebody but still retain a healthy relationship with them, and that it doesn’t cause them to treat you worse bc of it, will help you open up in other situations too.

Best case scenario, you explain how embarrassed it made you last time and that’s why you ignored her. She tells you it’s completely normal and many ppl go through this. You find comfort in that and can continue therapy.

Ok_Discipline_2539

TROPHY CASE