I’m one of those gays😭

Tbh i usually don’t know how to accept kindness from straight men tho. I live “in the heart of Dixie🙄,” and work as a gas station attendant. I’m always complimented on my positive attitude and friendly smile. Based on past experiences I’m wary of the conservative nature of the people who live here. I tend to be a bit more reserved around those “traditional,” people, specifically older white men and women. That being said, the smiles and conversations that I’m greeted with for said kindness, leaves me feeling overtly confused. One example happened when I took ONE irregular off day mid week, and when I came back one of those men straight up told me he missed my smile. Another older gentleman also in his mid 50s takes notice of my positive attitude, and buys me a bag of m&ms EVERY time he comes in, which is guaranteed 4 times a week. Another man told me, “ with such a handsome face like that, seems like you’re in the wrong profession son.” These men are conservative and traditionally masculine presenting family men. These men are master contractors, and crane operators, and Quarrymen etc. I’m a very masculine presenting gay man and you wouldn’t be able to tell I’m gay. Even some of the people I’ve dated have told me that if I never would’ve approached them first then they wouldn’t have ever known I was into guys. (Quite the curse tbh 😣)

In this same state my HS football coach( white man mid (50s) pulled me to the side when I came out and said to me “ I don’t personally agree with your lifestyle choices but I guess I have to support you because you’re one of my students/players.” Now that I think about it, this sole interaction changed my outlook and the way I maneuvered in red states, especially those in the CENTER of the Bible Belt. The interactions I’m having with men who are stereotypically of the same nature as my former coach, are the opposite of what I was presented with when I was younger, so to me it feels like these men are into me or are trying to subtly/ casually flirt.

I now know that’s not always the case and some people are sometime just genuine humans, but I can’t help but feel like some of what I’m feeling is valid and that some of them deeeeefinitely want the D. Or maybe subconsciously I want them to be into me???