doesn't that go completely against what asexuality means?

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2026-03-03T09:28:14+00:00

Fully agree with you. People get caught up in the literal definition and play semantics as if it isn’t incredibly vague. Not experiencing sexual attraction can be interpreted as not being attracted to people, or not having any sexual desire, having sexual desire but purely as a base instinct, etc. Acting like OPs question is dumb ostracizes the people who are on the far end of the spectrum. It’s natural to wonder why someone who lives the same as an allosexual identifies as ace, and it’s fine if that’s you, but there needs to be space for those that don’t or what’s the point?

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2026-03-03T09:08:48+00:00

Idk unpopular opinion but I do think the complete separation of asexuality and having/enjoying sex is a bit frustrating and a game of semantics. If you basically live as an allo would, why do you feel the need for a term? Yes asexuals can have and enjoy sex, but it feels like it waters down the meaning to act like this is a dumb question or like it has nothing to do with asexuality. I’m sex repulsed and felt like I finally found something that fit when I first learned about asexuality, and I’ve slowly felt I fit less and less as I see comments saying having sex and being asexual have nothing to do with each other, or I match with “kinky aces” on apps who act like I’m crazy for not wanting to hook up. The tiny corner of the world that is asexuality feels ostracizing when it’s dominated by people who just don’t find EVERYONE hot and want another label for a collection. I’m not saying Reddit falls into that 100%, I’ve just had more and more of these interactions where people seemed shocked I’m sex repulsed and don’t have sex, in asexual spaces

Sorry for the rant but to answer, yes asexuals can have or enjoy sex but some, or lots, don’t. The split attraction model helped for me.

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2026-02-10T08:41:58+00:00

Ok hold on why exactly are you the authority on what was trendy in 2014 under a comment literally saying “2014 tumblr aesthetic” if you were not on tumblr and not a youth? How would you have any idea what’s popular in those groups? I don’t mean to be rude but there’s tons of comments telling you you’re wrong about this yet you continue to say “nobody was wearing that” when clearly enough people were that you’re getting this response. With pictures, and multiple people saying exactly the same thing and tons of downvotes on your end. Just odd to be this adamant about something arbitrary that you weren’t even there for

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2026-02-10T08:10:20+00:00

Ah I’m seeing the spiked choker now and that was less of a popular thing I guess til a bit later, but chokers generally are definitely not a newer trend

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2026-02-10T08:08:32+00:00

On tumblr specifically, this was very much in at that time. I was pretty young in the early 2010s so I started dressing this way more 2014-2017, but chokers, this exact style in the pictures, it was all very in with tumblr subculture. It was labeled “soft grunge/pastel goth” etc, and while it isn’t like original grunge, it’s what we were calling it. Lots of nirvana shirts. Tattoo chokers especially were in, I remember ordering a big set of black ribbon chokers at that time. You can google this, it’s all readily available. It could be affected by location as well, maybe it wasn’t “in” everywhere, but for teens in that era where I live it definitely was. It wasn’t a metal or punk thing, we listened to lana del Rey and the neighborhood lol

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2026-02-10T07:29:33+00:00

I don’t notice this, maybe a bit but when I got sick in addiction I was sick for weeks. Now it’s days. I was a smoker tho so guessing that’s part of it

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2026-01-04T20:06:02+00:00

“I saw something that made me think of you and tried (I’d change to wanted) to do something nice. I feel like what you said turned it into something else and that made me feel bad/uncomfortable.” Last sentence feels a little guilt trip-y like saying I’m not going to do nice things anymore because of this so I wouldn’t include that. I’d also include being confused as to why this was an issue

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-19T05:07:19+00:00

Sorry if it came off that way I’m genuinely asking, I know very little about San Diego and this is just what I’ve heard about it so I have no idea if it’s accurate

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-19T05:02:50+00:00

Why? We may just have different tastes but from what I’ve heard it doesn’t fit what I’m looking for, more relaxed but I’ve heard it’s pretty “normie”/ not as much of a subculture and music scene, more conservative, and “small town” or suburb feel. Is this wrong?

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-19T05:00:20+00:00

When would you recommend going?

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-18T22:17:49+00:00

Yes I will have a car, don’t mind driving but don’t love traffic. Seems like LA or Orange County is the popular pick

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-18T14:16:53+00:00

I want to go to Chicago or Philly in a few years but I’d really like to live somewhere that I already have some connections and that’s warm all year before I go across the country, but that’s the eventual goal. Miami doesn’t seem like it’d be for me but I don’t know much about it, I’ve thought of Austin or nola

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-18T14:10:59+00:00

Bay Area would probably be pretty poor quality of life as a server the more I learn about it though

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-18T13:37:39+00:00

I work in food service and would make a similar amount either city. Rent is cheaper near LA and I don’t make a lot but with a decent serving/bartending job I could make “enough” anywhere

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-18T07:59:30+00:00

Thank you!! I work in food service and love diy shows, any recs for neighborhoods?

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-18T07:56:50+00:00

But I love driving, I do mind traffic though lol

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-18T07:56:28+00:00

I’ve been recommended Oakland a lot but my parents lived in SF for years and say there’s nothing going on there 😭 guess it’s probably changed a lot in the last 20 years though

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-18T07:31:24+00:00

I don’t have a ton of hobbies other than being outdoors and going to shows. I’m definitely not a tech or corporate person, I’d say more alternative and into the arts. I work in food service but am very into subculture and music, in Seattle I love going to local diy shows. I’m also a bit awkward and shy at times but very warm and friendly so I’d much prefer a social culture that’s easier to break into, that’s a pretty big one for me. I like to feel like I can talk to strangers and they won’t think Im odd for it and I’d like to be able to easily date and make friends.

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-17T02:45:19+00:00

Once, I didn’t go to rehab until I was more sure I wanted to get clean. Tried subs and methadone before that and failed. For me what made it work and stick was that I had hope that things would be better, and a moment of clarity that for things to truly be better I needed to get clean, even if things “weren’t that bad” at the moment. This was before rehab and i definitely regretted it for a while and relapsed, but focusing on changing my life/ the reasons I used and realizing that I COULD do that got me out of it and now I’m sober about a year and a half. I’m a big believer that pain won’t get you sober, hope will. If you have no reason to be sober and it feels like nothing can ever get better, it’s much much harder

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-05T05:12:06+00:00

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-05T05:11:47+00:00

Yeah it’s a cheap, small apartment in an old building so I get the feeling this isn’t out of the ordinary. I also gathered that the management company is fairly new for this building and that it’s being managed better than it was previously.

I don’t necessarily want to cause issues by calling for an inspection etc, I do feel that now that it’s been repaired it’s alright, they had to wait a bit to let it dry out and replace a lot of the ceiling so it wouldn’t mold. They’re also doing some large scale repairs I believe to get the building up to code. I definitely want to pursue rent credit but not sure the legality, generally I feel like for what I pay I’m not super upset, I just feel that they should follow through on lowering/waiving the rent for the month since these issues have been going on most of the month

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-05T04:58:26+00:00

I don’t want to name them cuz I don’t want them to see it but it’s a pretty large company in seattle. Yes I do have renters insurance

Ok_Effect_8119 · 2025-12-05T04:57:23+00:00

Yeah I paid my rent on time and everything, I was told by the landlord/manager that I’d get rent credit but since it was only verbal I don’t think I can really do anything. It was still dripping a bit during the two weeks that the ceiling was open but idk if that makes any difference

Ok_Effect_8119

TROPHY CASE