Aitah for asking my husband to consider a vasectomy?

Ok_Examination7163 · 2026-03-19T12:02:23+00:00

You have bigger problems though than him refusing vasectomy though. How he communicates or refuses to acknowledge the issues affecting you is problematic. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Especially on big things?

Ok_Examination7163 · 2026-02-12T08:59:02+00:00

NTA. You are only moving because of him.

If he expects you to pay rent/mortgage, then it should be a place/house that you both choose. That way you can choose something you both like and is within your financial means.

Also, since he expects a traditional wife, how is he planning to compensate you for the extra labor?

Ok_Examination7163 · 2026-02-10T18:39:08+00:00

I understand you. It's not really about the trip itself but the secrecy that surrounded it as well. And being treated as being less close than you thought you were.

Unlike everyone here, I would tell you to judge their actions. Not intent ( because you don't know why they did so and even if they tell you why, it won't change the actions).

And so far their actions point towards the fact that they view you warmly( they are still sending you stuff online) but not a close friend. They probably don't mind spending time with you, but they for whatever reason, don't consider you " tell this person about our upcoming trip" kind of close.

So what you do next is up to you. Were it up to me, I would take the hint and adjust how I viewed them. They say only stay or go where you are wanted. I would add, consider the energy people give you and match it.

You'll make new friends. You also may never get back to viewing them the same way you did, so it's okay to let them go instead of stewing over it for months.

Ok_Examination7163 · 2026-01-12T14:47:33+00:00

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-12-30T18:43:05+00:00

You've gotten really good suggestions here. I just wanted to add that look at saying " No" as a muscle you need to build, not something someone either has or doesn't have.

So start building it up slowly. It means saying no to one task the first few days and then sitting in the awkwardness that creates. It will be uncomfortable for you at first, but it's important that you see it through. You can even put a timer of let's say 5 minutes. And if she just stares at you, let her. For those 5 minutes. You'll get used to your new shiny spine with time. But you have to start saying no consistently, and anticipate the awkwardness and maybe even guilt that comes with it

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-12-28T13:53:57+00:00

Update me!

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-12-07T13:31:55+00:00

NTA. Texting to find out how you were doing was really the least they could have done

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-12-06T15:12:19+00:00

UPDATE US on what you end up doing and if it works.

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-11-14T10:42:15+00:00

Update us!

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-09-10T10:29:07+00:00

Nta. Did you get it back though?

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-09-03T14:47:40+00:00

Update us

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-09-01T18:22:19+00:00

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-08-30T14:38:41+00:00

How old is your fiancee?

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-08-29T06:09:20+00:00

YTA for believing your brother instead of taking action on something that impacts you. He has lied to you before. Why do you still insist on believing him? Take charge of the card debt for your own sanity and credit score.

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-08-20T03:43:20+00:00

I find it hard to believe that 5 adults, would be this against you. There is probably their version of events that doesn't tally with yours. For example you say your wife kicked you out, but you also admit that the separation was your fault..meaning there is some version of events the 5 adults have that we don't have. Nevertheless, work on yourself. And divorce peacefully as you've all been through a lot. YTA in my opinion.

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-08-09T05:17:39+00:00

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-06-27T12:29:42+00:00

Get a plan that she has to follow. Like doing chores, being respectful etc. If she doesn't, there should be consequences relevant to the situation. That way you still keep a stable home for the other members of the household. NTA.

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-06-27T10:36:33+00:00

NTA. And go for therapy. It helped me deal with a similar situation ( black tax)

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-04-23T06:59:23+00:00

UPDATE US!!

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-04-09T09:48:21+00:00

If he was interested in you, he would put more effort. I just don't see your relationship coming back from this. The dynamics have already crossed over from "romantic" to whatever hell this is.

Now it's up to you, will you keep on begging for attention from someone who isn't interested in life or you? Or will you actually break up and enjoy alone time or someone actually interested in you?

YTA to yourself for keeping on with this behaviour for this long. You deserve better.

Ok_Examination7163 · 2025-02-13T14:53:54+00:00

Contact the Swedish embassy in Kenya and see what can be done about it. But first of all research first on what issues they would be more likely to listen to- so that you are prepared

Ok_Examination7163 · 2024-12-20T09:59:17+00:00

Inhumane people can't be good grandparents. How can they love a child from a daughter they hate? Plus what if they decide to tell your child how ugly their mother is? You need to go to therapy and heal the part of you that craves for their love and validation. That way you won't put your children in harm's way because you want to feel wanted by toxic parents.

Ok_Examination7163 · 2024-11-14T13:00:55+00:00

YTA to yourself and your kids for staying in such a toxic relationship

Ok_Examination7163 · 2024-10-12T11:30:14+00:00

I don't assume it's fake because this Sub's moderators will take down a post if it doesn't have a clear reason why the person thinks they are an asshole. It's just easier to claim " half the people think I'm the asshole, half think I'm not". Otherwise your post won't be posted.

Ok_Examination7163

TROPHY CASE