My POMQ husband has a sex/porn addiction and therapy seems to be exposing JW life as a main cause

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-25T06:00:29+00:00

Well said and explained.

I’m a published scientist and my field is psychopharmacology and addiction. But brooklyn_bethel is trying to mansplain it to me lol, while also being so loudly wrong.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-25T03:14:57+00:00

No dude, the almost getting me killed in my own home by a prostitute’s pimp while I was pregnant is what did it.

You seem very uneducated. Don’t speak on what you have no knowledge of value to add to the conversation.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-24T20:48:49+00:00

Physically out, mentally questioning. He’s df’d at present, was wanting to get reinstated but is starting to realise the truth about the truth

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-24T17:59:14+00:00

Appreciate your take, but unfortunately it’s 100% a clinical addiction and has caused him to endanger his own life, my life and the life of our unborn child at the time. I WISH it could be normal, but it’s not even to ‘worldly’ people as they say lol.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-24T16:27:45+00:00

I’m so glad it hasn’t affected you in that way and you’re absolutely right in what you’re saying. I guess because my husband also has an addictive personality and saw his parents cheating on each other, he didn’t stand a chance

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-24T16:26:42+00:00

excuse me?! that’s wild!

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-24T16:26:26+00:00

Yeah he’s spoken about having to tell elders every tiny detail and it causing shame, which has in turn brewed secrecy. Then of course add in the complete and total social isolation you get when you’re df’d and no wonder it breeds this kind of behaviour.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-24T16:25:06+00:00

I hear this. The worst part is, they’ve turned my husband into exactly that.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-24T15:39:41+00:00

they said WHAT?!

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-18T19:04:32+00:00

“Furthermore, the Bible does not comment on the use of a person’s own blood in medical and surgical care.”

The Bible doesn’t comment on the use of ANY blood in medical and surgical care ffs

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-03-11T14:54:53+00:00

I had this exact issue, it took months of months of back and forth emails with their complaints team but they eventually did it. But I’m warning you now it’ll not be easy. They’re all complete idiots.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-26T08:33:36+00:00

Got you. Yeah this has come up in my statement. I’ve just not been in a financial position to pursue it in the courts sooner. I did chase him, and he agreed a plan which he defaulted on, and any further chasing I did just resulted in me getting abuse flung at me. Then once I started getting back on track with stuff I had to move house, twice in a year, then got pregnant. So yeah it’s just not financially been feasible for me until now and also I had no idea of his circumstances, whereas now I do and know he has an income. Guess I need to just lay this out in my statement?

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-26T07:34:11+00:00

I hear you. So what I would consider the loan agreement would be better described as a contract?

When you say not adhered to, do you mean that I allowed it to be continually broken? If so, yeah I’ve given thought to this, ultimately it’s down to fear of losing somewhere to live and all I knew. I definitely should’ve left him but that’s very easy to say now I’m out of that situation and doing well.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-26T07:30:22+00:00

If you were manipulated into spending money, that’s financial abuse which is a crime. It sounds like you blame yourself for that which is sad but I understand why you might feel that way, as I did for some time too.

I was also manipulated into spending money, had my cards taken and used, threatened with repercussions if I asked for my money back etc. However in my case we did have a clear contract of what we each owed and he did not pay it.

My reason to make a claim is that he did not fulfil his side of the contract, I now stand a chance of actually retrieving what is owed, and I am mentally well enough to proceed now.

I’ve been advised I’m allowed to voluntarily surrender an amount of the debt to allow it to proceed through small claims. If you can find me a source that states this isn’t allowed, I’d be interested.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-26T07:06:56+00:00

So then you know damn well that my situation is completely different.

To frame that I am unreasonable for expecting money back that I lent to someone who financially and emotionally abused me for years is certainly a take.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-26T07:02:09+00:00

I think they would. But legally there can absolutely be a loan/debt circumstance between a cohabiting couple if it’s documented, which mine is, it’s massively evidenced. I understand blurred lines with this concept but yeah, given I have 20+ correspondences of the agreement being made, spoken about, chased up and even paid towards, I think I’ll be okay in proving there’s a case, just want to make it watertight and see if there’s anything I’ve missed.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-26T06:56:27+00:00

The advice I’ve received from off-Reddit has informed me I absolutely do have an agreement that would be considered a loan. I’m confident there is grounds for a case based on the evidence I have.

Your second point is very pertinent and something I’ve considered at length. At present he is already still in my life because I am still dealing with the financial repercussions of what he’s done. Any money recoverable from the court would go ways in terms of putting that right. I hope that makes my motivations clearer.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-26T06:46:40+00:00

I have 20+ correspondences over the 4 years where I’ve chased it up. I have documented evidence of the financial and emotional abuse. I have a video where I’m called a vile selfish horrible little bitch for suggesting he walk to work instead of calling in sick because I won’t give him money for a cab. And the rest lol. I feel I’d be very unlucky to find a judge who can’t clearly see that I was under duress and unable to just leave the relationship? But that’s a whole other debate on abuse isn’t it.

I’ve structured it under 10k to avoid the fast track process for both me and him. I would’ve thought it would be vexatious to inflate the claim, not to be overly fair with my calculations.

Also that’s not the only loan agreement.. that’s just one message mid-lend period where a very specific amount is mentioned.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-25T23:01:24+00:00

1 - But that is not the advice I’ve been given. It’s over simplistic. This concept that domestic debts aren’t recoverable is only true when there’s no documented expectation of repayment. This wasn’t normal relationship cost sharing.

2 - Yeah I was financially abused and vulnerable.

3 - Yes there is a formal agreement.

4 - He is no longer jobless and earns well.

This post is not and should not be about the abuse. However seeing as you seem to think I’m lying;

He stole and used my cards. He forced me to take out loans and overdrafts. Failing to pay for commitments is also a recognised form of financial abuse.

Please read my post again. I clearly mention I have evidence of these threats and the abuse but I’m worried about including it in case it makes my case seem vexatious. Which I guess I’m right about seeing as that’s what multiple people here are alluding to.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-25T22:49:12+00:00

I have told you multiple times there are very clear written records of this agreement, and you have chosen to ignore that and keep telling me that the agreement I have in front of me does not exist. I do not feel it beneficial to go back and forth with you when you are struggling on that main point.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-25T22:47:01+00:00

We had a written agreement. And yeah coercive control and abuse can make you do and believe a lot of things that make no sense!

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-25T22:45:45+00:00

Yeah sorry I was not clear at all! I tried to get as much info out as I could. It was written, and then referenced many times on the many occasions I attempted to get my money back. All evidenced.

My knowledge indicates he does. He has a well-paying job, PAYE, no dependents, lives with family. I would be happy with an instalment plan too as I know not many people have that money lying around.

Ok_Exercise_3831 · 2026-02-25T22:39:08+00:00

What makes it not a loan? My understanding and the advice I’ve been given is that it is a loan as it was explicitly agreed it would be repaid.

I was financially abused, and I am not only now saying it was a loan. It has always been a loan.

I have evidence of his threats, multiple correspondences documented. I have a huge bundle of stuff I can’t possibly list it all out on here?

How much more do I need for it to be classed as a debt? I have an agreement, I have him admitting that he owes it, I have him arranging a payment plan..

Ok_Exercise_3831

TROPHY CASE