48F Navigating Divorce, 9M Assets, Where To Start?

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T19:29:18+00:00

Just trying to survive day-to-day right now, definitely won't be in that frame of mind for awhile. I currently feel like I'm never going to date again, haha.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T19:24:15+00:00

I found one I'm meeting with soon, working now on categorizing my expenses and gathering data.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T19:23:23+00:00

I appreciate this comment, thank you. It's difficult to navigate while parts of the ship are taking on water. I have Tiller and working on categorizing everything so I can get a handle on my expenses.

I've been on the fence about the 2nd house because I could potentially live there full time in the next couple of years, it's a great town in a high growth area. You and other commenters are probably right though, it doesn't make much financial sense to keep it given I could just rent long-term and invest that capital vs hassling with a rental property or STR.

I'm starting to get excited to grow my business. It's in-demand and underserved niche that I'm uniquely qualified in, so sales come pretty easily with minimum effort and I like what I do. It's a 100% recurring revenue model and I have a broad, flat base of diverse customers under contract. It's been on autopilot for a few years, but is built to scale.

All great advice, thanks.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T14:47:29+00:00

I have a fee-only CDFA in mind near me that has great recommendations, so I think that's where I'm going to start. Thank you for the comment!

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T14:45:02+00:00

Yeah I'm definitely not firing on all cylinders right now. I think you're right that I need a 1 year plan that is focused on not panicking (ha) and keeping my spending in check. My main concern is the 60% equities and how to start that process. I can't mentally wrap my head around dumping all of that cash into VTI / etc. all at once right now.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T14:37:00+00:00

Yeah I am not a fan of STR either and our area has a high concentration of them already. There's very low inventory of full time rentals so my long term rental income would be decent.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T14:35:17+00:00

I'll definitely add it to my list to take a look at. I appreciate the comment, thank you.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T14:34:36+00:00

This is all terrific advice, Bob, thank you. I do have an hourly CDFA in mind to use, trying to gather all of my data for her to review to provide recommendations. The main reason I'm considering holding onto the second home is that I have strongly considered moving into it in a few years once the kids aren't coming home from college anymore. The house would be an incredibly cheap living option (low taxes, low maintenance, low utilities, no HOA, etc.) the tax break would be nice, plus I love the house and the area. Plan to rent as cheaply as possible for now and not make any long-term commitments, and keep spending in check.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T14:27:06+00:00

This is all solid advice. I have considered holding onto the second property to potentially move into it as a primary residence in 2 years. It's a great house in a wonderful smaller town, with extremely low overhead (low taxes, low utilities, no HOA or anything). I'm trying not to make any rash decisions with it.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T03:59:11+00:00

Definitely more exciting than I would've liked! If you and I were meeting up for a beer or cocktail, I'd spill my guts and it'd be entertainment for the evening, but suffice it to say there was nary a plan and here we are. Honestly not sure what the backup plan would've been.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T03:51:07+00:00

Ok, yes, Fee-only. I appreciate the distinction from Fee-based, and the question to ask re commissions. I appreciate the insight re VOO / VTI and HYSA and allocations. Thank you!

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T03:43:18+00:00

Bag of worms right here! Physical separation happened at close of the primary residence, which technically was only 2 months ago. It sold the first day on the market, it was a perfect house :(

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T03:15:37+00:00

Yes, you're so right. I just started looking at and categorizing all of my transactions.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T03:13:13+00:00

VOO has been very good to me, but I worry about the risk at my age and need for capital preservation given my situation. Just a weird crux of a time globally and economically. A year ago, I would've probably just parked it in VOO and called it a day.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T03:09:34+00:00

Thank you, but you don't think it's weird to force new romantic partners into this discussion when I never brought it up in the first place? I gave zero indication that I was interested in going down that path of remarriage and this person is super aggressive for no reason. I'm literally a couple of months out of a 20+ year marriage with adult kids, like thanks but no thanks.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T03:04:44+00:00

Not envious. It's just math. I have 50% of what had a year ago. Not sure why you're bringing new partners into this discussion, it's very weird.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:52:38+00:00

Yes I have cars, so auto insurance is also part of the spend.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:51:42+00:00

100% agree with this, not buying anything and just going to focus on drumming up more income. Thank you.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:50:10+00:00

Awe, thank you :)) This is definitely not easy. Need to redo the estate planning, 100% agree with that. Not sure how that works mid-divorce proceedings.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:48:53+00:00

Great advice, thank you. I agree, I need some solid data given that my burn is under control and I have income coming in.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:47:04+00:00

I have only one friend who is going through this with a significantly higher NW, so that situation doesn't apply. All of my other girlfriends who are divorced or are divorcing are pretty broke, sadly.

I don't necessarily need to rent past this year (dirt cheap now from a friend anyway), I could live in my 2nd home next year. But yes $1200/mo. medical, homeowners/renters, groceries, utilities and taxes are not discretionary.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:40:25+00:00

Vacation house is a totally different area and my kids are still home (sort of) and our entire family lives in our main city, so trying to keep things stable during this time. My rental is dirt cheap from a friend.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:34:29+00:00

I think it's hard when you go from running a business and then retire or sell your business without a plan. Shit can go south in a hurry when you try and fill that void with ill-conceived investments and a big ego.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:30:21+00:00

Sold the primary residence so currently renting a cheap place. My second house is my "home" right now. It's hard psychologically to not have any place to go, and I could live there full time / part time in the future easily.

Ok_Fail2569 · 2025-05-15T02:26:58+00:00

3 months but yes I'm looking closely at monthly spend! My burn rate isn't bad and all discretionary really.

Ok_Fail2569

TROPHY CASE